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11/5/18 Balance

Monday, November 05, 2018



"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving." Albert Einstein



"Can I have your address, phone number, email, your mother's maiden name, a sample of your dna, your date of birth and…" "Uh..but I'm just trying to buy a pack of gum!"


Desperate after three bad months of sales at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the famous Colonel called up the Pope and asks him for a favor.

“What can I do for you?” Said the Pope.

The Colonel said, “Holy father, I need you to change the daily prayer from, ‘Give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘Give us this day our daily chicken’. If you do that, I swear I will donate $10 Million Dollars to the Vatican.”

The Pope replied, “I am very sorry. That is the Lord’s prayer and it isn’t something I can just change the words for.” So the Colonel, disappointed, hung up.

After another month of bad sales, the Colonel panicked, and called again. “Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I’ll donate $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from ‘Give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘Give us this day our daily chicken.'”

And the Pope responded, “It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us to support many charities. But, again, I must decline. It is the Lord’s prayer, and I can’t change the words.” So the Colonel gave up again.

After two more months of terrible sales, the Colonel got desperate. “This is my final offer, your Excellency. If you change the words of the daily prayer from, ‘Give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘Give us this day our daily chicken’ I will donate $100 million to the Vatican.”

The Pope replied, “Let me get back to you.”

So the next day, the Pope called together all of his bishops and said, “I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that KFC is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican.”

The bishops rejoiced at the news.

Then one asked about the bad news.

The Pope replied:

“The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account.”


dailyjokes.com


It's Color the World Orange Day! This day is to raise awareness of the medical condition Complex Regional Pain Syndrom and Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (CRPS/RSD). The supporters of today ask you wear orange to bring attention to CRPS/RSD, also known as causalgia, which is a chronic, painful, and progressive neurological condition that affects the skin, muscles, joints and bones. The syndrome usually develops in an injured limb, such as a broken leg, or following surgery. It's American Football Day (American football has its roots in rugby football and association football (soccer); the first game was played Nov. 6, 1869; Walter Camp established the rules we know in 1880), Commercial TV Broadcast Day (commemorates the first broadcasting of a program in 1930), Bank Transfer Day (started as activism in 2011 to encourage people to transfer their bank accounts from the commercial banks to not-for-profit credit unions; the suggestion is still very valid today), Job Action Day (a day to empower and inspire people to find that job which brings more fulfillment to their lives; networks and conferences are available to help people on the right path), Doughnut Appreciation Day (another excuse to have a doughnut), Love Your Red Hair Day (encourages the red-heads to embrace their vibrant locks; celebrates the famous red-heads such as Lucille Ball and the fictional red-heads such as Anne of Green Gables), Recreation Day (celebrated in northern Tasmania as an offset to Regatta Day that is celebrated in southern Tasmania), Fill Our Staplers Day (always celebrated after the clock-changing of the daylight savings time; encourages the little acts that help prevent a workplace crises), and World Tsunami Day (raises awareness of the importance of emergency plans and escape routes; part of the disaster reduction program). Gunpowder Day and Bonfire Night are celebrated in Britain as part of the Guy Fawkes celebration that King James had avoided harm; in 1605, Guy Fawkes was caught guarding the gunpowder that was an attempt to blow up the House of Lords in rebellion to King James for persecuting the Roman Catholics.

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