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12/1/18 Dream

Saturday, December 01, 2018



"Dream big and dare to fail." Norman Vaughan



Student: "Mrs. Offlegams, I don't get this one..'I'm pushing 40 with no prospects of marriage. I can't find a guy who meets my standards. Why am I so picky?" Teacher: "Oops..How did that get in there? I accidentally included one of my personal problems."



Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now passed-away Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship. One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said: “Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?”

The Fairy Godmother replied: “Well, Cinderella, as you have lived a good, wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you three wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?”

Cinderella was overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, almost under her breath, she uttered her first wish:
“I wish I was wealthy beyond comprehension.”

Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned. Alan, her old faithful cat, jumped off her lap and scampered to the edge of the porch, quivering with fear.

Cinderella said: “Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother!”

The Fairy Godmother replied: “It’s the least I can do. What does your heart desire for your second wish?”

Cinderella looked down at her frail body and said: “I wish I were young and full of the beauty of youth again.”

At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful youthful visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years. And long forgotten vigor and vitality began to course through her very soul.

Then the Fairy Godmother again spoke: “You have one more wish, what will you have?”

Cinderella looked over to the frightened cat in the corner and said: “I wish you to transform Alan my old cat into a beautiful and handsome young man.”

Magically, Alan suddenly underwent a fundamental change in his biological make-up, that, when complete, he stood before her a boy so beautiful – the likes of which neither she nor the world had ever seen – so fair indeed that birds began to fall from the sky at his feet.

The Fairy Godmother again spoke: “Congratulations, Cinderella. Enjoy your new life!” And, with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, she was gone. For a few eerie moments, Alan and Cinderella looked into each other’s eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect boy she had ever seen.

Then Alan walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his strong, youthful arms. He leaned in close to her ear, whispered, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath:

“I bet you regret having me neutered now, don’t you?”

dailyjokes.com



It's Day Without Art! Organized by museums to recognize those lost to AIDS and to raise awareness of prevention and treatments. It's Christmas Lights Day! Celebrates all Christmas lights that make our season so bright. Invented by Edward H. Johnson, lights entered the Christmas scene in 1882. It's Antarctica Day! Twelve nations signed the Antarctic Treaty System on December 1, 1959, establishing the ice-covered continent as a place for scientific study open to all nations and banning any military activity there. Since then, additional countries joined in the treaty—now 53 nations participate in activities at the various research stations there. It's Bifocals at the Monitor Liberation Day (a day to encourage sympathy for those who need bifocals and struggle to find that balance when looking at the monitor; also encourages bifocal wearers to check into alternative eye methods; does anyone else wonder what industry started this holiday?), Civil Air Patrol Day (a civilian volunteer service as an auxiliary of the Air Force; started in 1941, CAP is often involved with air searches leading to ground rescues; during WWII, CAP is credited with spotting 143 Nazi submarines off the U.S. coast), Coats and Toys for Kids (an annual drive that started in 1983 and is promoted by many businesses and charity organizations; check your local listings for a collection point near you), Fat Bike Day (couldn't find very much solid information as to what is celebrated other than the bikes used in the mountain trails and contests; if you're a fat-bike rider, have fun), Earmuff Day (earmuffs were patented by Chester Greenwood this day in 1873 when he was 15 years old), Eat a Red Apple Day (what's your favorite of the reds?;my favorite reds are the Galas), Rosa Parks Day (this day commemorates when Rosa Parks was arrested in 1955 for refusing to move to the back of the bus; there will be another celebration in February for her birthday), Rhubarb Vodka Day (a special day for a special type of vodka), Pie Day (no clear reason why we're celebrating pies today other than we want to have a reason to have a slice), SKYWARN Recognition Day (SKYWARN is another volunteer group of civilians working with governmental agencies for the benefit of all; these volunteer amateur radio operators assist the National Weather Service in the protection of life and property by collecting reports of localized severe weather), Wear a Dress Day (no clear reason why other than someone felt like dressing up; this day is celebrated also in June), AIDS Day (a day to raise awareness, to educate, and to support those struggling with AIDS), and Pear Day (a delicious piece of fruit that doesn't get much notice; what's your favorite way of having a pear?).
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