"Mistakes are proof that you're trying."
"Groundskeeper Willie soon has mixed feelings about tracking down his ancestry."
A car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day. The lady driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. She then takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats and appear naked to approaching drivers.
Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up. It wasn’t very long before a police car arrives. The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches the lady of the disabled vehicle yelling, “What is going on here?”
“My car broke down, Officer” says the woman, calmly.
“Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?!” asks the Officer.
“Well, those are my emergency flashers!” she replies.
It's Houseplant Appreciation Day! Take this day to give extra care to your plants, maybe even pick up a new one. They add so much to the home. Cut Your Energy Costs is today! We all love to save money and we can do it even with our heating and lighting costs. Turn down the thermostat, replace old-style bulbs with the compact fluorescents or LED's. It's Healthy Weight, Healthy Look Day (a day to remind us that a healthy weight and a healthy look is truly beautiful, not the air-brushed versions), Bittersweet Chocolate Day (a form of dark chocolate; dark chocolate is minimally 35% cocoa solids, 35%-65% is semi-sweet, 65%-80% is bittersweet; healthy dark chocolate should be at least 70%, so bittersweet is a match), Save the Eagle Day (though no longer on the endangered list due to all of the hard work of conservationists, the eagle still needs our work to protect their habitat and young), Oysters Rockefeller Day (special recipe was created by Jules Alciatore in 1889), Peculiar People Day (we all have that person in our lives who walks to the beat of a different drummer and this is their day; celebrate all the originality in the world), and League of Nations Day (the League was an intergovernmental organization founded on 10 January 1920 as a result of the Paris Peace Conference that ended the First World War. It was the first international organization whose principal mission was to maintain world peace. While it didn't fully succeed, it did set a precedent of nations working together for peace and security and, in fact, the United Nations, which replaced the League of Nations, will have its first meeting this day in 1946). In 1863, the Metropolitan Railway opens in England as the world's first subway, with steam engines pulling wooden carriages lit by gas lamps. Called the Underground, the subway would soon be known as The Tube.