I want to keep moving!
Monday, January 21, 2019
In April I will be 75 years old. Like everyone, life hasn't always been kind. I have gone through many times that I didn't know if I was going to make it.
Many times I was tempted to just give up, and be life's "Victim". But something inside just wouldn't let me give up and stay down.
Sure, many times when I got back up, I had bloody knee caps. I didn't know what to do, so I did what's the only thing TO DO. And that's live one day at a time, many times breaking that down to the next 15 minutes.
I made "to do" lists in writing for every day. I didn't want to do the list, but the darned things just wouldn't stop calling me.
There's something wonderful about writing a TO DO LIST. It calls you to get into action. And the action leads to self esteem and a sense of victory. Every time I completed something on the list, I cross it off the list and move on to the next one. That's how to keep going.
Some of you Sparkies know what I have walked through the past few years, and you have held me up when I couldn't keep going on my own. Within a year and a half both my husband and daughter died after battling devastating diseases. I didn't know that a majority of ME died with them.
It is three months and one day since my child died. I have every excuse in the book to sit and mourn.
But that's not what I want, because it only leads downhill. I keep getting one day older everytime the calendar turns the page.
I can sit and stare into the emptiness until all I am capable of is to sit and stare.
Or, I can recall all the years of love and magic that the three of us shared. I can recall and reclaim how very blessed we were, and summon my gratitude for having been so incredibly blessed.
I must honor those blessings by ACTING OUT THE GRATITUDE. That means living an action packed, social involvement and continuing to learn. I owe it to others to be a role model. A role model who Lives, not talks, a full life, filled with the wisdom that pain in my world has given me great wisdom, comprehension, compassion and enthusiasm of being totally ALIVE.
I create my reality. I must be attentive to being alive. My behaviour, not my words, are end results of my choices.
Therefore, I keep moving.