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05/12/19 Mothers

Sunday, May 12, 2019



"Successful mothers are not the ones that have never struggled. They are the ones that never give up, despite the struggles." Sharon Jaynes



"A good mother loves her kids. A great mother still loves them when they're teenagers!"



"It's not easy being a mother these days. Texting in all caps just doesn't have the same impact as good, old-fashioned yelling!"



Over the centuries mothers have given their children plenty of good advice: COLUMBUS'S MOTHER: I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher.  You could have written.
MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: Mike can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?
NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it.
GOLDILOCK'S MOTHER: I've got a bill here for a broken chair from the Bear family. Do you know anything about this, Goldie?
ALBERT EINSTIEN'S MOTHER: But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse?
THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!
HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER: Humpty, If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? No!

What My Mother Taught Me:
1. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You'd better pray that will come out of the carpet."
2. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
3. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
4. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
5. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
6. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
7. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
8. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
9. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"
10. My mother taught me HUMOUR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
11. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
12. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".


It's Mother's Day! A day for all Moms to be celebrated and pampered. Whether you're on the receiving or the giving end of today's celebrations, give a thought to all of the mothers in the world who want the same things for their kids. We're not so different from each other.
--Nurses' Day: celebrated on the birthday of Florence Nightingale (1820), the founder of modern nursing; today salutes the medical profession that plays a pivotal role in the healing and well-being of all patients.
--Limerick Day: celebrated on the birthday of Edward Lear (1812) who popularized the limerick poems and wrote "Book of Nonsense" in 1846; a limerick has 5 lines, the first 2 lines rhyme with the last and the middle 2 rhyme with each other.
--Mothers at the Wall Day: today is for the mothers who lost a child in war; special ceremonies are at the Vietnam Memorial Wall.
--Odometer Day: An odometer called the roadometer was invented in 1847 by the Morman pioneers crossing the plains from Missouri to Utah. The roadometer attached to a wagon wheel and counted the revolutions of the wheel as the wagon traveled. It was designed by William Clayton and Orson Pratt and built by carpenter Appleton Milo Harmon.
--Veal Ban Action Day: a movement to ban the practices to create veal from calves.
--Nutty Fudge Day: fudge was accidently created in the 1880's by a baker trying to make caramel.
--International Awareness for Chronic Immunological and Neurological Diseases:
--International Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Awareness Day:
--Fibromyalgia Day: These 3 days raise awareness and focus on the myriad of diseases that present as chronic muscle and joint pain, poor stamina, and many other symptoms but are difficult to diagnose and treat; this date was chosen because Florence Nightingale suffered these symptoms and was bedridden for the last 50 years of her life; she had accomplished so much for nursing in the Crimean War but was struck down when she was 38; she continued to guide and write from her bed till her death in her late 80's.
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