"Forget the mistake. Remember the lesson."
"Back pills? They're on the bottom shelf in the 50-pound jar."
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
“Miss Whack, I’d like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.” Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, “Sure. I have this,” and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she’ll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, “There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.” She holds up the tiny pink elephant. “I mean, what in the world is this?”
(You’re going to love this)
(Wait for it)
The bank manager looks back at her and says…”It’s a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”
It's Free-Cone Day for Haagen-Dazs! Definitely in Tampa, FL, and Atlanta, GA, from 4:00 pm to 8:00 pm. Check your listings if there is a Haagen-Dazs shop near you and go this early evening.
--Stars and Stripes Forever Day: commemorates the first public performance in Philadelphia of the march composed by John Philip Sousa who was known as the March King; Sousa would compose over 130 marches and the Stars and Stripes Forever would become the official march of the US in 1987. Here's a link to the performance by the President's Marine Band.
-- Dance Like a Chicken Day: dedicated to the "Chicken Dance", a song composed by Werner Thomas of Switzerland in 1955; it was originally a duck dance but was changed to the "Chicken Dance" in 1981. Here's a link to watch and learn.
--Dylan Thomas Day: today commemorates the first reading in 1953 of the play "Under Milk Wood" by Dylan Thomas, a Welsh writer and poet; Thomas also wrote "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night".
--Buttermilk Biscuit Day: the buttermilk biscuit appeared shortly before the Civil War; in 1931, Ballard & Ballard introduced the first refrigerated ready-to-bake buttermilk biscuit.
--Sex Differences in Health Awareness Day: today raises the awareness that certain diseases such as heart attacks present differently in women than men; because the public is taught about the symptoms as seen in men, women often don't realize they're in trouble because they have different symptoms.
--Underground America Day: a salute to the approximate 6,000 North Americans who make their homes in the ground instead of on top; such a home requires special architecture.
--Decency Day: today celebrates the basic standard of civility; a non-partisan grassroots movement to inspire decency in our words and actions; includes education promotion in the schools for kids, teaching Active listening, Better understanding, and Compassion.