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06/07/19 Golf

Friday, June 07, 2019



"Golf is the closet game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots--but you have to play the ball where it lies." Bobby Jones



"Honey, help! The iron isn't working so I tried using your curling iron."



A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him: “Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing.” “What do they say?” the priest inquired. “They say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?” “That’s obscene!” the priest exclaimed, “I can see why you are embarrassed.” He thought a minute and then said: “You know, I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible.

Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship. I’m sure your parrots will stop saying that…that phrase in no time.” “Thank you. This may very well be the solution,” the woman responded.

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest’s house. As he ushered her in, she saw the two male parrots were inside their cage, holding their rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After just a couple of seconds, the female parrots exclaimed out in unison: “Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?”

There was a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and said: “Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!”

dailyjokes.com



It's Wear Orange for Gun Violence Awareness Day. Orange is the color that Hadiya Pendleton’s friends wore in her honor when she was shot and killed in Chicago at the age of 15 — just one week after performing at President Obama’s 2nd inaugural parade in 2013. After her death, they asked us to stand up, speak out, and Wear Orange to raise awareness about gun violence.
--Chocolate Ice Cream Day! The second most favorite flavor (after vanilla) has recipes from 1693 Naples, Italy and was brought to the US in the late 18th century.
--Daniel Boone Day: according to legend, it was this date in 1769 that Daniel Boone first set eyes on what would become Kentucky; Boone was a pioneer, explorer and hero according to folk lore; born November 2, 1734 in Berks County, Pennsylvania, Boone would explore along the Appalachian Mountains and would be part of the settling of the Cumberland Gap even though westward expansion was banned by the British.
--June Bug Day: this is the most active time of year for June Bugs; after living in the ground for 3 years as larvae, June Bugs are now emerging, looking for food and a mate; approximately an inch long, the bugs hide during the day and swarm at night around light sources.
--Doughnut Day: somewhat about the tasty pastry, today "actually commemorates the women of the Salvation Army who cared for soldiers serving on the front lines of World War I in Montiers-sur-Saulx, France. After several weeks of inclement weather, the demoralized soldiers’ spirits were lifted by a taste from home. The Doughnut Lassies, as the Salvation Army women became known, are often credited with popularizing the doughnut after soldiers returned home after the war. Later, during the depths of the Great Depression in 1938, Chicago’s Salvation Army began National Doughnut Day as a fundraiser to help those in need. The Salvation Army celebrates National Doughnut Day these days by delivering thousands of doughnuts around the country."
--VCR Day: as a dying breed, videocassette recorders had their heyday in the late 20th century; prototypes came out in the 1950's but were so expensive, only TV networks were using them; the first home use VCR by Telcan in England debuted in 1962 at about $1600 but could only play 20 minutes at a time and in black and white; in 1972, commercial films could be played on the VCR's; DVD's took over after the year 2000.
--Fish and Chip Day: a salute to a meal associated with the British; no explanation why today or any history but we can still enjoy some at lunch today; what do you like with your fish? Tartar Sauce? Malt & Vinegar?
--Prince Rogers Nelson was born this day in 1958 in Minneapolis, Minnesota; Prince would release "Purple Rain" in 1984 and die in 2016.
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