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The Bear that came to Dinner

Friday, June 21, 2019

Yesterday, a juvenile black bear wandered up to the house while we were eating dinner and placed its paws on the dining room window. (What a compliment to my good cooking!) The blind was down so maybe it couldn't see us but we sure noticed him! emoticon It then turned and sniffed at my compost heap but since there was nothing there suitable to eat, it wandered away......

Did I ever tell you about the time (~15 years ago) DH left the garage door open and a full-grown black bear entered to get into our garbage? He was working in Houston and coming home (we live in the Rockies) on weekends. DH thought of living in the country/mountains as "safe" compared to the big city; but he was only thinking about thieves/bad people -- so he had a habit of leaving the garage door up. Bad idea!
Family was visiting with kids..... we were eating dinner and our dog suddenly wouldn't stop growling and running to the downstairs door and then back to us. DH decided to check it out. Then he called very softly for me to come. Now, I'm eating dinner and I'm not going downstairs just because he's too lazy to go fetch something and I called back "What do you want?" Again (very softly), "Come!"(clearly, he didn't want to disturb our guests...) Again, I repeat myself. AGAIN: "COME!" "WHY!??" "THERE'S a BEAR in the GARAGE!" emoticon
Well, that got all of us scrambling downstairs to peek by the door to the garage to see a bear. The kids were certain there was NOT a bear ( we just HAD to be trying to pull a joke on them they thought!), but stood behind us grown-ups anyway -- reassuring each other that no way there's a bear! I saw that DH had armed himself with a broom. But he was flicking his hands saying, "shoo! shoo!" (can you imagine!?!) at the bear (who had dumped the garbage can over and was searching for edibles) as he slowly edged closer and closer to the bear.
The kids' parents say "come look at the bear!" to the kids (we're still peeking at the situation from behind the door to the garage) and I yell at DH "Are You CRAZY!?!" and ALL OF A SUDDEN -- ALL. the. kids. take off running upstairs screaming "I WANT TO BRUSH MY TEETH! Get out of the way!" "Me first!" and they haven't even seen the bear yet!
I'm wondering "WTF?" and the kids' parents are unsuccessfully suppressing laughter and I want to know what's funny -- DH is in the garage trying to shoo a bear WITH HIS HANDS... well, I don't have time to hear what's funny!
I get an idea and run upstairs myself to the kitchen and arm myself with a pot and lid and run to the front door and then scream and yell as loud as I can whilst banging the pot and lid together to make as much startling noise as I can. DH in the garage doesn't know WHAT is happening and says he got a rush of adrenaline and fear and nearly jumped into the bear and finally THAT'S what frightened the bear and the bear took off running. And then DH runs up to the front door to find out why I'm screaming.... and I see he's no longer shooing a bear with his BARE hands and I stop to explain that I was trying to help by scaring the bear with loud noise. "WELL IT WORKED! YOU SCARED -- MEEE! -- TO DEATH! And the bear is gone now so you can stop!" emoticon

Turns out, the kids' parents (they lived in Houston), during the long drive to our home, had told the kids what to expect in the mountains. Among other things, they mentioned bears -- and that bears could smell dirty teeth and found little children with dirty teeth to be very tasty. So they had advised their kids to be very conscientious about brushing their teeth. And here we were, such excellent hosts that we provided a bear to drive home the lesson! emoticon

Oh my! I'm dying laughing here! emoticon emoticon emoticon Still, after 15 years, I find this story hilarious! On the plus side, DH learned VERY well to KEEP the GARAGE DOOR SHUT! ALWAYS! (He didn't learn that lesson when a skunk got into the garbage can -- he needed a bigger animal I guess!) And you know what else? I always greet these particular kids with the words "Have you brushed your teeth yet?" emoticon
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