"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." Albert Einstein
"Punishing them with plagues or floods was too messy, so now he just tells a few of the nuttiest ones to run for President."
One day a Scotsman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten long years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon.
“It’s certainly not a ship,” he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.
Suddenly, emerging from the surf is a drop-dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.
She approaches the stunned man and says to him, “Tell me how long it’s been since you’ve had a cigarette?”
“Ten years,” replies the Scotsman.
With that, she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, “Och – in the name of the wee man is that good!”
“And how long has it been since you’ve had a sip of good scotch?” she asks him.
Trembling, the castaway replies, “Ten years.” She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says, “Tis absolutely fantastic!”
At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man and asks, “And how long has it been since you’ve played around?”
With tears in his eyes, the man falls to his knees and sobs, “Oh, sweet Jesus! Don’t tell me you’ve got golf clubs in there too!”
It's Lazy Day! Oh, you don't have to tell me twice! Here's the perfect excuse for a laid-back Saturday, lounging in your favorite nook, maybe with your favorite drink (of water, of course).
--Celebrate Your Lakes Day: on the 2nd Saturday of August; no info as to the origin but today does encourage us to get out to the parks and forests for our favorite lakes; maybe a camping trip is in order, just like when we were kids.
--National Bowling Day: on the 2nd Saturday; a salute to one of our favorite pastimes (I still just get gutter balls); bowling-style games have been around since ancient Greece and Rome, but Germany is given credit for the modern form we know; kegels would be lined up, a stone rolled to knock them down, and then, sins were forgiven according to how many kegels were knocked over.
--National Duran Duran Appreciation Day: a salute to the band Duran Duran, formed in 1978 in Birmingham, England; we celebrate it today to commemorate August 10, 1985 when lead singer Simon Le Bon was in a near-fatal boating accident.
--National Garage Sale Day: on the 2nd Saturday, a salute to one of our favorite pastimes to check out what was in others' attics; aren't you curious what your neighbor is selling in their garage sale?
--National S'mores Day: a salute to a mainstay of campfires; the first official recipe printed was in the Girl Scout handbook in 1927.
--National Shapewear Day: no info as to who is sponsoring this day, I suspect the clothing industry; we celebrate the history and current trends of body-shaping garments; the Greeks and Romans had corset-like garments but corsets didn't become required until the 16th century when they were using whalebone; today's garments are made of more comfortable materials; I remember wearing girdles and swore never again.
--National Spoil Your Dog Day: like we need permission; today is a special salute to our canine friends; maybe a trip to the park, even the lake, to let Fido play fetch.
--Smithsonian Day: a salute to the biggest museum complex of the world, holding 137 million items in collections; British scientist James Smithson died in 1829 and left his estate to his nephew with the stipulation that if the nephew died with no heirs, the estate was to be sent to Washington to create an establishment to increase the world's knowledge; that nephew did die without heirs, in 1835, and President Andrew Jackson sent an agent to England to bring back the fortune—about half a million dollars. Unfortunately, Congress put the money in state bonds that defaulted. Former president John Quincy Adams talked long and hard but finally convinced Congress to replace the money and create an institute of science and learning, as Smithson requested; on this date in 1846, the act creating the Smithsonian Institution was signed into law by President James Polk..
--World Lion Day: yesterday we had Cat Day, so today we salute the "king of the jungle" to raise awareness and support for the charities that are for the conservation of the lions' habitats; I mean, he's just a big putty-cat.
--Skyscraper Appreciation Day: today commemorates the birthday of William Can Allen, the creator of the Chrysler Building in New York City.
--In 1793, the Louvre opened its doors as a museum with an exhibit of 537 paintings.
--Tisha B'av: a Jewish sacred holiday; it is an annual fast day in Judaism, on which a number of disasters in Jewish history occurred, primarily the destruction of both Solomon's Temple by the Neo-Babylonian Empire and the Second Temple by the Roman Empire in Jerusalem.
--Day of Arafah: an Islam holiday; the Day of Arafah is an important day for Muslims because it recognizes where Muhammad gave his “farewell address” as the end of his life was growing near. Each year, a large number of pilgrims gather in Mecca on Mount Arafat.
--It's my grandson's 7th birthday! (Nana's allowed to brag.)