"Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect." Zoey Sayward
"The stork? Where did you ever hear such nonsense? The truth is, son, you were pulled from a hat."
An 80-year-old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge he asked her, ‘What did you steal?’
She replied: ‘a can of peaches.’
The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry.
The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She said she stole six.
The judge then said, ‘I will give you six days in jail.’
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman’s husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.
He said, ‘What is it?’
The husband said ‘She also stole a can of peas.’
It's Tell a Joke Day! My favorite day because it's full of laughter. Tell your favorite joke and let's make today roll with the belly laughs.
--Joe Miller's Joke Day: along the same lines, it's also Joe Miller's Joke Day, a day we're supposed to tell stale, worn-out jokes in honor of Joseph Miller, an English comic actor during the early 18th century.
--National Airborne Day: a salute to the US airborne military forces; the first official parachute jump of the Army was on August 16, 1940; we honor the service paratroopers who serve to protect our country.
--National Bratwurst Day: a sausage with sweet spices from 14th century Germany; now I want one.
--National Men's Grooming Day: on the 3rd Friday of August, a salute to the industry catering to help men look and feel their best; check the listings as there could be specials and discounts.
--National Rum Day: "In the 17th century, hard-working slaves on Caribbean sugarcane plantations were the first to discover rum. They detected molasses as a byproduct of leftover sugar that transformed into alcohol after refining and fermenting. Eventually, distilleries caught on —turning rum production into a major global business. The Royal British Navy, as well as rogues and pirates, drank rum by the gallon"; rum has a colorful history as it was used for more than drinking but also as currency in obtaining favors in politics.
--National Roller Coaster Day: a salute to that hair-raising ride we all love to scream; the first roller coasters were built by Russian immigrants in Portugal during the 17th century because they missed sledding the snowy hills of their land. The originals were platforms 70-80 ft high and the ramps, covered with ice, had a 50 degree slope, very similar to playground slides. It's also the day in 1898 the vertical loop roller coaster was patented and would be used on Coney Island.
--True Love Forever Day: not a lot of info but today was chosen from "The Bridges of Madison County" when Kincaid, the photographer, meets Francesca on August 16, 1965; if you're not familiar with the story, he writes her at the end that, though they never met again, he had never stopped loving her.
--Hawaii Admission Day: observed in Hawaii on the 3rd Friday of August; today celebrates Hawaii's admission to the US as the 50th state in 1959 on August 21, the 3rd Friday of August that year.
--In 1896, the Klondike Gold Rush begins when Skookum Jim Mason and George Carmack find the richest gold strike in North American history; "Because of the remoteness of the find, it would be over 11 months before the rest of the world found out. And it did so in the most dramatic fashion, when the steamers Portland and Excelsior pulled into the harbors of Seattle and San Francisco respectively carrying over one ton of gold (worth more than $1 billion in today's dollars)."