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I know I don't blog much anymore but...

Monday, August 19, 2019

I haven't blogged much on Sparkpeople lately. The past few years have been filled with a lot of pain. A lot of pain with no answers. I've been pretty vulnerable on this site before, so I feel comfortable sharing this here. I still don't have the answers, so this is more a brain dump than an attempt at an inspirational post. I hope you all are doing well


Okay, I'm going to be vulnerable with y'all and I'm going to post the pictures in the comments (because NOBODY needs to be casually scrolling through their Facebook feed and have my stomach jumping out at them 😳) Also, I was in so much pain last night that I didn't think to WIPE DOWN THE FREAKING MIRROR before taking photos, so forgive me friends. 🤦‍♀️

Also, I know I've talked about my pain a lot, so feel free to scroll on by. Someone might have shared that video of the child surrounded by puppies! 🐶 I've seen it a few times in my feed and every time someone shares it, it makes me smile. 😁

But about my pain, 2010ish is when I first started feeling discomfort in my stomach and intestines. Especially when it came to *ahem* evacuating. (💩) I was tested for celiac (blood test: positive, intestinal test: inconclusive) and was told by the doctor to stop eating *anything* that was putting me through that much pain. I felt a lot better for awhile, but in 2013-2014ish it got much worse. Sometimes I would think I knew why, like a possible cross contamination with gluten, and then other times I'd think that other foods were triggering the pain. I cut out dairy for awhile, but that seemed to make things worse, so I added it back in. I stopped eating most fruits (my favorites 😭) because they made my entire being burn like a thousand suns. I've been off soy as it seems to mess with my thyroid although I'm not as strict about it as I am gluten. But even after cutting out numerous other foods, the pain persists...

I've missed out on weddings, birthdays, and other get-togethers (Is that a word? I don't know, my stomach hurts.) due to the pain. I've had a sigmoidoscopy done- "everything looks great!" Awesome...that's so helpful... 🙄😓 I've seen a homeopath (who totally ripped me off. Oh great, more fun). I've tried essential oils (panaway and digize are my friends ❤️) and then yesterday I tried cannabis infused gummies, which did not help whatsoever. And the thing is...I don't know WHAT the pain is from, WHY it happens or HOW to make it stop in the first place. I have no official diagnosis.

I went from eating 3 meals a day to 6 small ones per the recommendation of my doctor before the pain started. But when I realized that eating/digesting food would bring on symptoms I slowly moved back to eating only 3 times a day. My stomach just refuses to accept food more often than that. 😥 And I discovered that I can no longer snack. If I so much as have a couple of sips of water when it's not meal time, my stomach cramps as though I just ate a 4 course meal. Aubrey comes home with a bag of M&M's? Sure, I'll have a couple. 🙂 Thanks hun! Wait, no, no, no. That was a huge mistake. Great, now my stomach's pissed. 😠🤦‍♀️🤬 I do have another appointment with my doctor, but it's not until late October. And I don't even know what to say when I get there. "Hey doc, sooo... my stomach still hurts. I know every intestinal test we've done has come back 'inconclusive' or 'great!' buuuuut...ow." 🤷‍♀️ I've ordered some CBD oil and I'm really hoping it will help!

I guess this was a REALLY long way of saying "been in a lot of pain lately, trying to pretend like I'm not, and also if I didn't attend your wedding, your BBQ, or your 'anniversary of turning 21' I'm sorry." Hopefully this brain dump can explain why and if not, they say a picture is worth a thousand words. I took three pictures last night (after the cannabis gummies didn't work) to show what it looks like when I'm in pain. For reference, I'm 5'5'' and fluctuate between 135-140 pounds. Apparently most of which, is in my stomach. 😩🥺 It's a bummer that the gummies didn't work, but I did order some CBD oil and I'm really hoping it will help! ❤️

Edited to add the photos I posted on FB, but couldn't find a way to do so in the comments here.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I've been having difficulties eating as well. I used to be a vegetarian, for about twenty years. But then, I became allergic to milk and eggs. I was so sick from them, they had to be cut out. I finally figured that out. But being a vegan was totally impossible, because I also seem to be allergic to almost all legumes, which left me with only nuts, seeds and grains for my protein sources. And I'm not really that handy or inventive in the kitchen at all. So now I eat meat, which has been a life saver, but doesn't feel at all normal for me at all. My weight is mostly centered in the abdominal region too. Have you tried probiotics? You know, they help you digest food a little bit. Well, a lot, actually. But they can only do so much. They can't take away your allergies. If you do suspect an intolerance to milk, though, having yogurt every day is supposed to help you tolerate it better. I hope you feel better soon!
    148 days ago
    Keep searching for answers. My first husband had a condition for some time, he couldn't eat a thing. We tried EVERYTHING! Come to find out it was a thumb sized stone (similar to a kidney stone) in his salivary gland. Point is, there is something haywire, keep searching. Don't give up!! Surgery did the trick for the stone. If only it could be so simple? Hoping you can find answers soon. emoticon
    317 days ago
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    Have you had any testing done for your gallbladder? It's very sneaky and can disguise itself as a lot of other things. Also - how are your liver enzymes? I worked for a general surgeon for 5+ years and those are sometimes the culprits! Worth a shot if you haven't been tested yet!
    320 days ago
    Am trying to return to "normal". It's not easy, but I'm trying and it seems as you are too. Good luck to you!
    320 days ago
    Hey Amber, I have gut issues, IBS and Hashimotos. I am also a nurse. It almost sounds like candida? Have you tried a naturopath? That is where I got most of my help as they will also do blood tests, stool and urine. My email luvmyeli.cw@gmail.com
    320 days ago
    Relief has not been instant and I too have stopped doing things I would normally do. I'm always worried about what's going to be served if I go out to a friends or an event, so I have opted out. Now that I am learning what I can and can not have, I
    320 days ago
    Of bacteria in my small intestine (only antibiotics can help this) and also a cyst on my esophagus. I too have eliminated several things from my diet (mostly those with naturally occurring fructose) and have tried to watch my carb intake.
    320 days ago
    Hi there! We sound VERY similar in our symptoms and many other women that I have crossed paths with. I went to a GI doctor and had 3 breath tests and also a scope of my esophagus and stomach. I have been found to have fructose intolerance, overgrowth
    320 days ago
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