Today I am struggling to love people.
Wednesday, September 11, 2019
We were going through the finalized copy of the cookbook last night making sure I didn't miss anything. And one of the family members asked if I would make beignets today. Sure I said, it's a chance to use the new mixer.
So I get up early and get started, and every time I make them, I regret it. They are a challenge to make and my arms always hurt painfully with all the rolling and keeping them flipped in the pan. So I'm finishing up the last batch and I smell like a deep fryer. Funny I used to love that smell. Now, it makes me nauseous. And another family member asked me to make fried mushrooms again.
I kinda flipped out a little bit. For one thing, I was tired of frying and too I'm trying to lose weight and other people keep bringing in junk food. And not just bring it in but ask me to cook it. I'm not in control of the grocery shopping, I just write what I need on the list and most of the time they will get it for me.
And 75% of the time, I fix my own meals or will simply take smaller portions. Especially if it is something super unhealthy.
I know I should not complain, it just feels like certain people deliberately do stuff to sabatoge my weightloss efforts.
One thing I learned and am hanging onto is I am in control of what goes in my body. I think part of me wants to fix them make them eat right too. However, I can't do that. I can't make them desire to eat right or stop buying it. However, I can choose whether or not to eat them. I knew from the beginning this would happen, and I'm just as determined to succeed.
So I'll quit complaining and go do something productive like fold laundry.
My win today is that I completed my cardio even though I was really sore and didn't want to do it. I also met my 4 cups of water a day goal before noon. And I didn't eat any of the fried beignets this morning. I tried baking me some and that didn't work to well. But I knew if I started eating them I wouldn't stop with one so I didn't even start. I had my applesauce oatmeal muffin with cream cheese instead.