BEEJAY49
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Time doesn't really fly

Sunday, September 22, 2019

Although it seems like one holiday comes right after you finish it, it really doesn't. Yesterday was exactly 1 month since my dad passed away and it seems like yesterday. I miss him so much. For the past 32, yes 32 years we have been taking care of a parent or relative who needed us.

First it was my hubby's mom. She died of a brain aneurysm, but before we had to let her go, we spent 2 weeks at a hospital out of town with her, at Christmas. We then took on his dad. He came night after night for supper, we couldn't plan much or go much of anywhere or even be very happy for almost 16 years. He was a grumpy curmudgeon but family so we did everything we could for him. When hubby had his heart attack I went out of town to see him, take supper to his dad and do it again for the next day for 5 days in a row. His dad had dementia and heart problems and ended with a stroke.

Next it was my mom. Oh she was hard to get along with at times. :( I made my peace with her though and agreed to disagree with her. She had emphazyma and refused to use oxygen. She "couldn't" clean her house so I was doing it for her. Come to find out she was going to my sister's and helping her clean her house. ??? Of course my sister says no, but I do know better. Then the time her neighbor told me she was out washing her car. Yes, that irritated me but I cleaned for her anyway. Oh, before that I cleaned for my grandma too. Mom started getting sicker and we took her to the hospital. She was on the machine to keep her alive but only till her brothers and sister's got there to say their goodbyes. We had to let her go on my Aunt and my other sister's birthday, that was sad.

Then it was my Aunt who was my Godmother. She had colon cancer but was in remission for a long time. She started getting sicker and they had to call in Hospice. She has 2 daughters who was living there to take care of her. I went every day to give them breaks for 3 weeks. Then they had to take her to the Hospice place where she passed that evening.

Then my dad. Stubborn as a mule, funny as a clown, generous to a fault. I spent a lot of time just going to visit with him, he was alone anyway and hubby worked so I got some real quality time with him for a few years. Then he got colon cancer. They had to take a section and he had to have a permanent colostomy bag put on. It was hard, sad and I was getting blamed for it because he was still in his right mind and I didn't FORCE him to get a colonoscopy.

For 3 years I cleaned his house, got his groceries, mowed the lawn and took him to get haircuts and appointments. Instead of my sister's asking if I needed help they waited for me to tell them I needed it. So finally I did. We made a chart of who did what on which day and most of the time it wasn't done. He started falling a lot and got so he just sat all the time watching tv. Then his leg muscles gave up. We had to go over 3 times a day to give him his medicines. They did help then when they weren't off goofing around and I had to take their place. Although my younger sister helped a LOT during that time.

He still fell when we would help him and had to put him to bed, get him up, wash him and be there a lot. It got so we couldn't take care of him the right way anymore and sadly had to put him in nursing care. By then he was a 3 time cancer survivor, had alzheimer's, dementia, COPD, emphysema and a bad attitude most of the time. On his good days he was a joy to be around. :) The alzheimer's and emphysema is what finally took him down, along with a stroke.

We spent nights and days at a hospital out of town with him, my sister's stayed some too. Then we had him brought back to the nursing home. I stayed the night with him one night and I'm not sure if the other 2 did or not. His passing was bitter sweet because he was tired of fighting it and was ready to go.

In between all those times, I lost my other favorite aunt, 3 uncles and a good 2 close friends. Stressed??? YES! The problem is now that I have no one to take care of, my health isn't all that good and we still can't travel and do things like a couple should be able to when they retire. What does the future hold for us? One One knows and I'm okay with whatever He decides.

Yes, the time seemed to fly in all those years, so much happening practically one right after another, but yet it seems like an eternity all at the same time. So take one day at a time, cherish it, love yourself, get healthy and do what you can when you can, because you just never know when you won't be able to anymore.

HUGS!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CHALLENGER15
    I read this back when you first posted it and saved it to get back to later. I didn't intend it to be this much later, though!

    I hope you have found a way to take care of yourself...or at least are on your way to discovering it.


    44 days ago
  • GOLDENYEAR66
    Now it is time to take care of you. Let the stress melt away and get your health in check and you and your Hubby will be able to enjoy life together.
    You have done so much for your family now is your turn to enjoy life for a change.
    We only have one life so make it as happy as possible.
    Hugs my friend.
    83 days ago
  • XREPHA
    Wow! Your story is all too familiar. Been through it with both in-laws. Now going through it with my parents. I cherish the time with them. God bless you. Your reward is in heaven.
    84 days ago
  • RWARREN-G
    Your family is lucky to have you. You have earned your place in Heaven.
    84 days ago
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