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Another Year

Saturday, September 28, 2019

Every year I think it will get easier but it doesn't. 8 years ago my Birth Mother committed suicide. I handle the holidays and her birthday and mothers Day without losing my mind or my emotions but when it comes to her anniversary of her leaving us forever I feel like I crash into a million pieces. I can remember everything, where I was, how it felt and it is like it happens new all over again. I have done therapy, suicide loss survivor group therapy and a couple courses so that I can help and I can recognize when someone needs some help. There was no anger this year just sobbing. I think that is progress but it still hurts so much. Suicide is heartbreaking and there are no answers. I went I to hibernation and I didn't even mean to. My husband was sailing and gone for 2 weeks and then I got sick. Life happens at mach 10 and eventually I will be able to try and steer myself through it. There was eating, bad choices, lack of exercise and drive to do it all. I am bringing myself back because I want to be healthy and I want to be strong and I know I deserve it. My Mother's name was Dianna. She would have been 73 yrs old this year.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You will get though the grieving process eventually! Been there! emoticon
    484 days ago
  • ARLENE2019
    Iā€™m so sorry for your loss.... so many things in life are beyond our control. However it is their journey. They lived it, live your own journey of health and happiness.... God can always give you inner peace....enburance and strength..... I know šŸ™šŸ’•
    484 days ago
    I am so sorry for your loss. Wishing you continued resilience and health! Good for you for trying to take a horrible tragedy and do something positive by taking courses so you can help others.
    484 days ago
  • GEORGE815
    Sorry to hear about this. Hope you are able to put it all into proper context.
    484 days ago
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