Step back, you got this
Sunday, October 13, 2019
My last race made me do some thinking. It was an extreme race that I signed up for due to peer pressure and ego pressure. I was so determined to get back to who I was I forgot how many steps it took me to get there. I wanted to restart my running game at the top of the food chain, cause after 2 years of no real running that's where you should start. Next week I have a 12KM race, I can do it, I know I can but I also know I would be walking at least half of it and that isn't how I like to do races.
I talked to my daughter. She told me I was doing the right thing and reminded me how much happier I would be to run the whole race instead of limping along the last part of the original one. She really made me feel good about my choice.
We do this, or maybe it's just me but when we get our act together we expect...again me...that we can carry on where we left off. Today I got a huge reminder that this is not the case. I introduced the twins to rock climbing. My daughter wanted a mommy and me day (I love that she still wants these) and I suggested we take the girls to the gym I used to go to ALL.THE.TIME. I got my workout gear on, was so excited to go.
The girls loved it. At the end of the session I asked them which climbs they liked the best, they both yelled with excitement, "All of them!"
Me on the other hand, oh boy. I couldn't even make it up the beginner climb. I made it half way. I looked at all the difficult walls I had conquered and remembered how excited I was each time. I tried climbing the wall again, nope, half way it was.
This really sealed my thoughts on my race. I've gotten my eating back in place. I'm losing weight but I'm still literally trying to run before I can walk. I want to go back to the climbing gym in a couple of days on one of their quieter nights and restart. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't climb like I used to, but if I don't go back and keep trying I will never be able to climb it and that is something I can't accept. For Christmas I want to get the girls a 10 session pass and I want to be able to climb with them, not just watch.
Stepping back and accepting that I need to restart my exercise is so liberating and it's a little exciting. I'm looking forward to conquering the races and climbs again.
I absolutely love these photos of the girls and how great my daughter is looking! (dark pony tail)