May We Meet Again
Thursday, October 17, 2019
Many things have reached into my mind during these 7 months apart. When you got sick, I cried and blamed myself for failing you. I have worried and been so stressed out trying to figure out how to fix or repair what was broken. The day I realized you were never coming home again, I lived in grief for you, for the past and even for the future.
I tried to understand and put in perspective who, you really were as a person, a woman, a daughter, a sister, my mother and a friend. You were born into humble beginnings and remained humble for the course of your life. You lived in a beautiful soul, and both internally and externally. You grew into a beautiful young woman and later to be known to me as my Mother.
What I have come to understand about you is we were not accidents or surprises but sparks of glimmer in your eyes. You loved being a mother, being our mother. I would understand the capacity in which you loved us, and your family knew no limits. You would lead our hearts into leaving unbreakable footprints on our souls. For 20 years we would come to know you in a different way, the way in which Alzheimer’s would weave it’s web around you, and for the way panic and anxiety would strike out at you. The mom I had come to know was gone, and years drifted by and I came to understand you were not coming back.
I was not always patient as I should have been, for that I am eternally ashamed. But I never lost any love for you. I will always love you deeply. I will carry with me the footprints you left on my heart.
I will forever love you and Dad until the journey claims my soul as well. I love you Mom.