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(Real) Questions about cooking turkies.

Wednesday, November 06, 2019

Real Questions Asked on the Butterball Turkey Cooking Hotline

Is it OK to baste my turkey with engine oil?

Can I poke holes all over the turkey and pour a can of beer over it to keep it moist?

Should I carve my turkey with a 16in Redmax or should I get out my Stihl Electric Chain Saw?

How do I get my Chihuahua out of the turkey. (Her dog jumped up on the kitchen table.)

Should I leave the giblets in their plastic bag during cooking?

I'm a truck driver. Can I cook the turkey on the engine block of my semi while I'm driving? If I drive faster, will it cook faster?

How long should I cook my turkey on the car radiator?
50 minutes at Mach 1 should do it!
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