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Small Beginnings

Saturday, November 09, 2019

This past year has taken a huge toll on me in more ways than I can fully express in many different avenues of my life. I thank God for his infinite wisdom in the struggles and lessons he is teaching me daily. But to distinguish I am a person of faith and prayer but I am also an individual at the same time.

Since Oct 26th I have been suffering from back pain and as a last resort I found out my health insurance company would pay for a few Chiropractor visits my 1st adjustment I felt better, but my 2nd I was in much more pain. When traditional western medicine cannot help I think we have to be open minded to other possibilities to help ourselves and our bodies.

I am sharing a photo of me and the very small first walk I have done in such a long time. I made a promise to myself that I would try harder to after I could try to focus on something else again. But how do you focus again when you feel so broken.

There have been times in my life when I have felt so broken that I would never recover from them…but slowly I did. I was in my early 30’s when I lost my father suddenly and 49 upon the death of my mother. The other night I cried half the night missing her, I spent it crying for myself and praying. I know she is finally reunited with my father and grandparents. I understand this is the cycle of life to love and have loss. But sometimes you just feel like your identity is wrapped around your parents and you don’t quite know who you are without them being a part of your life any longer. I miss and long for my parents and that long past way of life we lived when I was younger.

It almost makes me feel selfish to understand that I need to work on so many things on myself in the coming new year and try to move on and live the best way I know how with all the memories of the past dear to my heart.

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