IMJETTA8
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Healing work is hard but well worth it!

Friday, November 15, 2019

Going through memory work is not fun, but on the other side it is so healing and freeing. Still going through bouts of crying but almost there. I know this all had been the root of my weight issue. Praying it is the end of it now. Its so hard but so well worth it.

I pray before each session that I can take a step forward on my healing path. and give permission for my angels and guides to help me see the truth no matter how much it hurts or how much fear I have.

Even 50 years later, I am still having memories come out. I sure hope this is the last one, at least the last big one. It hurts so much, but I know it is helping me in the long run. With each one, I hope it is the last. When the body is ready to heal and show something to you, it comes out.

I have been cramming food in for so long to hide this part of me. To hide the hurt and pain of my childhood. I have lost 100 pounds a few times only to gain it back again. And I am at the top of my weight once again. So ashamed of myself, of my weight but now maybe I can let the past go, accept the real me without my abusive parents telling me how horrible and worthless I am. Without abusing my sweet innocent body for 23 years. Still working on forgiving myself and my beautiful body but it is a process. They taught me to hate myself, for how can you hate the people who you love and are supposed to love you. Any normal child would blame themselves, your parents are god right? What they say and tell you must be the truth. If they are good than I must be the bad one.

Well, this last memory, I had to face that they were wrong, they were evil, they were both horrendous so called parents. My daddy whom I thought loved me and felt that if I knew he was an abuser who slept with me every night did not truly love me and it was abuse not love, that i would die. Yes, it hurts but I am still here, letting myself cry and feel and heal.

This still hurts so much, crying as i write this. HEY WORLD, MY MAMA AND DADDY HURT ME AND WERE BAD BUT I AM NOT BAD, I AM NOT THEM, I AM NOT DARK AND EVIL LIKE THEM. I AM LIGHT, I AM LOVE AND I AM TRUTH!

DO YOU HEAR ME MAMA AND DADDY????? (thankfully they are both gone)

Now, maybe I can finally get this excess weight off for good, don't have to hide anymore.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MYYEAR7
    You are a very brave and strong woman. Thank you for sharing this with us. We all have our wounds, and it is inspirational to hear how you are facing and overcoming your past trauma. This gives strength to others and allows us to look inside and face what we need in order to be well and whole. We will work together to bring inner peace and joy into our lives.
    11 days ago
  • REMBRY
    oh my dear friend .. I'm sorry I had no idea that the nightmares of your childhood .. the past .. were consuming your Now ..
    I wish I could reach you to hug you back to health ..
    funny how we know and can help others yet our vision of our selves is cloudy and tainted ...

    the first thing I would ask you to do
    is bring yourself back to you ..
    meditation
    to cut the ties the energy streams that are attached to others ..
    first .. bring you back to you ..
    pat every part of your body .. your from your beautiful head to you cute little toes ... telling your body .. "come back .. come back to me .. come back my lovely .. come home "
    as you do this
    visualize the energy of you returning ... yet you can see it is scattered and attached to people .. places and objects ..
    now imagine putting you into a beautiful opal sphere .. brilliant ... colourful and spinning ..
    gather all of you in the sphere ... notice the flow of energy that remains outside of the sphere ...
    that is the energy others have stolen ..
    the energy others have claimed and hold pieces of you ..
    as you pray .. to set them all free ..
    begin to close the lid of the sphere ...
    ever so gently turn it to close ..
    as you turn you are cutting off those threads .. notice as the threads are disconnect from you ..
    feel the lightness ..
    feel your energy return
    turn turn turn ..
    until the lid is tight .. the energy vampires are totally cut off .. the nasty memories are with them ...
    they were the creators of that energy .. they should own it .. it does not belong to you

    you are now whole .. and safe in within you ..

    I will keep you in my prayers ...the past has no place in your NOW .. except to remind you how amazing , strong and loved you are ... out of the ashes arose an angel .. an earth angel ...
    take back your gentle power ..
    take ownership of Jetta .. the all love ... the all powerful .. Gods most valued possession .. allow your angels and spirit guides to wrap you in their power to heal and restore ..

    I'm always here .. always .. as you have been for me ..
    " I love you more "
    Donna

    21 days ago
  • CAPECODDIN
    You've got this! I'm very proud of you to work thru this crappy stuff & rise above. Keep the faith my friend. Big ((hugs)).
    22 days ago
  • no profile photo HOTPINKCAMARO49
    Heavenly Father loves you and knows you by name. (((Hugs)))
    23 days ago
  • SLIMMERJESSE
    I still remember a past childhood situation you shared here. Gave me nightmares. I don't know how you've survived, Jetta. Wishing you freedom from all the past hurt and pain.
    23 days ago
  • PATADI
    You have been an inspiration to many of us over the years. Let go of the negativity and welcome the positive. You are special.
    23 days ago
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