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Acceptance vs. Approval (of your body)

Saturday, November 16, 2019


This morning I watched short video from the November “My Mind My Body” newsletter, with the topic of accepting your body. This has been an ongoing challenge for me, as I know that the body I have now, and the body I hope to have someday, will never be the body of my dreams.

mymindmybody.net
/2019/08/02/dont-like-set-
point-video/



The author (Deborah Raphael, MA, Ed.S.), outlines four steps toward body acceptance:

1) Recognize that acceptance of your body is not the same as approval of your body, that it’s okay to mourn the body you wish you had but isn’t realistic.

2) Think of all that your body does for you (movement, breathing, function).

3) Recognize your negative thoughts. Change your thinking to neutral thoughts (“My hair is brown”), then transition to positive thoughts.

4) Think about who you are as a person, your character traits – ask yourself, “What makes me me?” We all have many good things that make us who we are – compassion, being a good friend, a good listener, good to our pets, etc.

None of this was new to me, I’ve read it and heard it before, many times. But it’s always helpful to hear it again.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LEANJEAN6
    I agree-Son#2 is a good guy!-Ill tell him yu like him--LOL--Lynda
    4 days ago
  • WARRIORSUE518

    This was wonderful! I'm happy I came over here to finally read it!
    71 days ago
  • KALISWALKER
    Wow acceptance of your body is not the same as approval! I totally agree with that. Thanks for blogging I learned a lot!
    128 days ago
  • IMEMINE1
    emoticon emoticon
    134 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    What wonderful information and I am glad you posted this! As a maintainer, sometimes still go thru body issues. I think especially remembering all my healthy body does for me is the biggest point of re-focusing my thoughts about my body!
    137 days ago
  • ALICIA363
    emoticon
    137 days ago
  • JEANKNEE
    Yes! Always helpful to hear it again. Thanks for sharing it.

    My body appears to gravitate toward "thinness" when I'm supporting its needs. This has brought an awful lot of negative attention my way over the years. Certainly not the external approval so many (women primarily) seem to think those of us that are thin get.

    And, I continue to struggle with accepting my "thinness". It messes with my mind to see my weight drop below a certain point. I struggle with whether or not the weight is healthy for me or not and whether or not I'm deluding myself into thinking my weight is okay because I get SO MANY negative comments about how thin I am and accusations that I MUST have an eating disorder or be ON DRUGS. Yeah.

    My docs are not concerned ... at all ... despite a BMI that has routinely dropped below 17 in recent years.

    The external comments have quieted down and I view that as an indication that acceptance and approval of my thinness is at hand.

    Thanks!
    138 days ago
  • SLENDERELLA61
    Thanks. Great blog! I will definitely check out this author. This is the message I need right now!
    138 days ago
  • MARTHA324
    This is wonderful! Even when I was fat I never hated my body - it sill did a lot of good things for me. Wanting to be healthier and thinner just meant I had aspirations.
    138 days ago
  • ONEKIDSMOM
    I follow WATERMELLEN's link over to here... it captures a much needed attitude, "Think of all that your body does for you (movement, breathing, function)." Amazing bodies, our homes.
    138 days ago
  • WATERMELLEN
    Went back to explore this website an the IE forum referenced . . . great resources!!
    138 days ago
  • FUNLOVEN
    It is helpful to be reminded every once in a while about how well our bodies serve us. As I age I am slowing coming to accept that my body will NEVER be my dream. It can be such a sad thought. So I remind myself of all the great things my body can do at 68 years old and I am grateful. I acknowledge that I am so much more than my body. Even if I do think I look a heck of a lot better with my clothes on then with them off emoticon
    139 days ago
  • KENDRACARROLL
    Thanks for the link. I watched the video and looked around her website. Subscribed to her newsletter.
    She's saying a lot of things which make sense to me. Body acceptance is definitely an ongoing journey for me. Discussion about set point is always interesting, though I'm not sure I share her viewpoint there. From my own experience I do believe that you can lower your set point over time.
    emoticon
    139 days ago
  • BESSHAILE
    Acceptance is essential - approval is pretty durn important too .

    I never wish for the body I was never going to have any more - but as a young girl and woman I did. Wished for a longer body so I could wear wide belts. Wished for thinner face so I would look less like a baby. Wished my eyes were not so close together. My skin didn't have freckles. I could wear navy blue.

    Part of the fun of living into my 60's is the way I can release my clutch on things that will never be and have way more fun with the things that are.

    Well, sweetie - it's always good to hear good advice again. 'specially if you found it all on your own.
    139 days ago
  • WATERMELLEN
    Very interesting and helpful!!

    That need for approval -- from others and even from ourselves-- seems to be something particularly conditioned in girls/women.

    Acceptance feels so much calmer and freeing.
    140 days ago
  • S_MHANCOCK
    Wonderful advice!!
    140 days ago
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