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I'm Only Sleeping (Not)

Wednesday, November 20, 2019

We all need sleep. Here is my grandson as a baby, sleeping like! How easy it was for him to fall asleep anywhere, no matter what noise was surrounding him, or how much light was in the room. I suppose when I was a baby, I could sleep like that too.
As adults many people can still sleep like this.

My brother was one of those people. Here he was dozing off after a hearty Thanksgiving meal several years ago, before he passed.

Oh how I wish I could sleep like this nowadays.

THose were the days.

Don't they all look so comfy?
SOme people do not even need to be comfy. Here my daughter fell asleep at the table.

As an adult, I have never slept well. For many years I tossed and turned, and screamed during terrible nightmares. One morning my hubby told me I had stopped breathing longer than he could hold his breath and encouraged me to speak to my doctor.
The result was a sleep study test.

THis was me at my first one in 2008. The results were that I have severe sleep apnea. I stopped breathing over 600 times.
My doctor had to fight with the insurance company to get me a special BiPap machine which regulates inhale and exhale. (Most CPAPs only regulate one).
SINce that day I have used my machine 100% of the time when I sleep.
It took several tries to find a mask that could work for me. SInce I breathe through my mouth, I require a full mask. The first few I tried gave me pressure wounds on my nose.

They looked like this and fit over my nose and mouth.
After some research I found the mirage liberty mask, which is kind of a hybrid. It has nose pillows attached to a piece that surrounds my mouth.

I began to fall asleep better, but I would wake up every night during the night and be unable to fall back asleep. I cannot take sleeping pills because I need to awaken if my machine alarm sounds to signal I am not breathing.
At one time my primary doctor prescribed something which stays in my system for four hours, so If I woke up in the night and had at least 4 hours of sleep time ahead, I could take that to help me fall asleep. MOst of the time I do not.
Forwarding to nowadays. I still use my machine. But I never get a good night's sleep. MOst nights, though I go to bed around 9pm and get up around 6am, I get 3 to 5 hours sleep. I wear a Fitbit inspire which tracks my sleep.
After many days of not enough sleep, I am worn out. A side affect of being tired is that I am hungry all of the time.
I have removed all light producing devices from my bedroom. I wear an eye sleep mask to block any light. I live in a totally quiet place. I exercise. My sleep doctor has suggested I read until I get drowsy. SO I invert my ipad to a black background with reduced light text. I read with the lights out until I feel ready to sleep. Most nights I fall asleep quickly. Then during the night I wake up. SOmetimes it is to get up to the bathroom. Other nights it is trying to get comfortable. WHatever the reason, I cannot fall back asleep. SOme nights I read hoping to get drowsy again, most of the time I end up reading for over an hour with no success.
I continue to work with my doctors to try and find solutions.
We all have areas we struggle with. DO not let any of those struggles overcome us. We can do this and I will not give up!

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