Frustrated / Lost Vision
Sunday, December 01, 2019
I'm having a hard time finding my Why lately. I thought my Why was to be more attractive to women. Now that women are finding me attractive (surprisingly, the old adage was true, in that they like me for my personality and physique is just a bonus), I'm struggling to get to the gym and get more than the bare minimum done. I'm done with personal training and don't want to find that route any more. I'm also stressed because I promised myself that I'll move out before I'm thirty, which is in six months, and I have less than my intended savings. To me, though, the bigger issue is that I seem to have lost my vision. I'm not sure where to start. There are a few folks who inspire me, but my inspiration usually lasts anywhere from five minutes to half a day. Back when I was doing excellently, I had someone by my side, constantly speaking affirmations and reminding me of my goals, picking me up when I fall, etc. For a while, I had internalized him and had his voice in my head, but now he's gone and the voice has faded. I just feel lost. I've felt lost for a while. I'm up 45 pounds from my lowest and I'm down 48 pounds from my highest.
i just wish I could find someone to drive me. I think I know some resources I'm going to tap into and get my head straight. I just need to get past the holidays.