Thomas the B@stard Tank Engine
Thursday, December 05, 2019
Among other things today I started removing the wallpaper in the second bedroom.
Is there anything on this planet as tedious as scraping wallpaper? Actually yes. Reading Thomas the B@stard Tank Engine to the Tiddly Peeps at bedtime springs to mind. Like all right minded parents, I'd skip some. Or at least try to. Eldest son's voice would always pipe up, "Mummy, you've missed a bit, you'll have to start again". "Whoops" I'd say through gritted teeth. Did you know it was possible to smile whilst gritting your teeth? I can assure you it is. Trust me - I'm a mother. Meanwhile I'd be thinking "you're two fecking years old you little sh!t how can you possibly know all eleventy billion frigging Thomas the B@stard Tank Engine stories by heart?
But the Tiddly Peeps have grown up now and I no longer have to read Thomas the B@stard Tank Engine to them. Or indeed any other bedtime stories. Mostly I used to enjoy reading to them but some things drove me to distraction. Front and centre Thomas the B@stard Tank Engine. If I ever have grandchildren, I'm sure I'll enjoy reading to them too, but I think I may draw the line at Thomas the B@stard Tank Engine. Well unless I'm given copious quantities of wine and a shed load of money. Even then it could be touch and go.
Meanwhile, there's still sodding wallpaper to strip. I wonder if reading Thomas the B@stard Tank Engine to it would cause it to curl up and throw itself off the walls? If anything could make wallpaper suicidal it's got to be Thomas the B@stard Tank Engine.....
Today's advent tea - Lemon. An old favourite.