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Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Wednesday, February 12, 2020

The Present

Receive today as a gift.
Untie the ribbons of yesterday.
Do not package up tomorrow
for it has yet to be lived.

Donna G Fowler ~ 08/15/2014

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

I know we aren't promised anything in life, but for once I'd like things to go more smoothly. I keep asking myself how I can accomplish that. The only answer I can come up with is people around me that I love need to quit getting sick and dying. While I know that sounds rough let me tell you how I spent my birthday. emoticon

As some of you may have read, Mike was placed back in the hospital on Saturday. He was having difficulty breathing. He progressively got worse to the point he was delusional. He was wasn't making any sense and was very confused. They told us they doubted if he would make it through the night that the cancer had spread to his brain and throughout his body. I spent my birthday at the hospital with him. I was there for over 24 hours straight. That was Monday night into Tuesday afternoon. Tuesday morning he woke up as clear as a bell. He knew he was saying things that weren't right but he said his mind would come up with random things and he'd say them. For example: He was going to go rescue people off of the railroad tracks, he missed a job interview, He asked his sister Diana if his dad was driving his favorite truck around [his dad has been gone for about 15 years]. Just random stuff.

They did drain another 2 liters of fluid from his left lung. Today the plan is to put a permanent tube there that he can uncap and drain daily or when he starts feeling short of breath. I'm not sure which one they'll have him do. We also had hospice come in and speak to us while everyone was present, Mike, his sister Diane and Dave who are also his POA's, myself and the nursing LSW at the hospital. Since Mike was so clear yesterday he wants to return home (and who wouldn't). He agreed if he started feeling like he was when he went back to the hospital on Saturday evening he would call the hospice nurse and arrangements would be made to place him inpatient. There are of course some concerns I have about inpatient hospice. Did you know if you are having a 'good' day meaning your 'level of care' is not high, you have to pay room and board for that day and it's $200 a day that Medicare or any other type of insurance will not pay for. Mike just barely get's over $1200 and he has other expenses to worry about. So, that's where we are with everything.

So....in hindsight, I spent my birthday where I needed to be next to Mike, the man I love. emoticon

Thank you for listening to me ramble on.....Since I'm 60 now I can do that.. emoticon

Have a blessed day everyone.

emoticon ~ Donna
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