Thursday, April 02, 2020
Number one son and I have a love/ hate relationship. To be honest, he has a very big ego, and is self centered to a fault. My other 3 children, and DH have all struggled to understand his way of thinking...to no avail.
DH and I have been self quarantined for 3 weeks and counting...we are over 60, and don't want to take any chances. 3 of our 4 children stay in touch regularly... they call or text to check in with us several times a week.
#1 hasn't bothered. He is in a relationship with a woman and her 2 young girls for about 5 years. His family is his everything, and he is very protective of their well being and happiness.
We moved recently, and are 3 hours away. He lives 15 min from our old house, and his girlfriend works 5 min from our house. I had ordered something from BBB, and had forgotten to update my shipping address. When I recieved notice from FedEx that it was delivered, I panicked.
I texted #1 gf, and asked if she would be able to pick up the package and hold on for me. She's a curriculum coach for the elementary school, and indicated that she couldn't do so until the wkend. I was so grateful and let the new owners know the plan. I thanked gf, and jokingly told her to have my son call. After all, I've only heard from him once since Christmas...and that was at my prompting!
Later that day he called. I was so excited to hear from him. He cares! We can chat! I can find out how he's doing! Except that's not how the conversation went. He chastised me, in a very stern voice, for my "expecting" gf to drive 15 min to our old house to pick up a package when other arrangements could be made. He paused, and I was stunned. I couldn't udder a word.
He then proceeded to describe methods for resolving this issue. I became very upset, to the point I was crying, but I didn't want him to know. I said thank you, and I hung up. He immediately texted me and told me I was immature. More salt to the wound. I was depressed all weekend, losing sleep over this.
I realize now, that he has no idea that he hurt me. I've been praying on this matter for days and have come to realize I need forgiveness. And I need to let him know my perspective. I can't believe that I have to tell a 40 year old man that he hurt his mommas feelings...and that he should try to make time for us!
I digress. And that's why I'm blogging about this. Trying to find the right words to get my point across without fueling the flame. Thanks for listening.