For once my health is more important than binging
Tuesday, May 19, 2020
Tomorrow is my birthday and given all things considered I got my days mixed up and was off by a day and thought today was Wednesday and it was today. I told myself since it was my birthday I deserved a free day with no accounting for what I ate. I have been counting every bite for over the past month (36 days straight and since Feb 15 th for really trying to keep track).
I am really bad about binging (not purging just binging) and have looked for any excuse for it - comfort, celebration, even health (ie binging helps my headaches and other pain - numbing).
I have managed to get it down to twice a week and those times under 2000 calories. However today I was planning on giving myself a clean slate for all the fav items and cake I could eat - after all just once a year and I deserved it. But for first time I don’t want to. I really don’t want to binge. It is the oddest feeling. I want to stick to my health plan and keep going. So far since Feb 15th, I am down 18 pounds with a long way to go but I don’t want to derail my journey for binging BS. I am not saying I am cured of binging just that I am not going to today and I dont want to. Pretty amazing and i hope i keep putting my long term health first before short term gratification.