This is Where I Want to Be.
Saturday, June 06, 2020
Hello to all of you in Spark land. Here are some of my thoughts on health.
Right before I was sixty, and when I was still working, I felt I had had enough of the workplace. I was suffering from chronic nausea that would happen at about 2 in the afternoon on my shift as a mental health counselor. I would often go home or cancel appointments, and decided to quit and apply for Social Security Disability. My wife helped me fill out the form, and seemingly out of nowhere, we came up with about 25 different diagnoses I had had over the prior years. Shortly after applying, I was called for an interview with a physician. A few weeks later, BAM, I was approved. I already sort of knew this retirement was semi-permanent. This directive made it more so.
Among the things I suffered from were an as yet undiagnosed spinal stenosis, which made walking sometimes difficult, and coronary artery disease, which had already led to placement of four stents in my heart.
Years after leaving work, I had surgery for the stenosis, and open heart surgery, and even more stents. I now have congestive heart failure.
It is my difficulty walking and wearing out easily that would make me be considered disabled, and some might say severely disabled. However, I am here to say that I am a happier man now than I was when I was doing what I thought my life's work would be.
I live with and care for my wife, also disabled, and my dog, a nine year old Aussie-doodle (who barks too much). I spend my time reading online or reading books, cooking and cleaning up, doing all of our errands, watching news shows with my wife, contacting friends and family, Sparking, just sitting and thinking or taking naps, reclining out on our deck with a glass of green iced tea and soaking up the sun, and now, as of late, riding every other day on my recumbent stationary bike. And this is all I need. I work towards achieving greater health, and still love it when my doctor tells me my numbers are good. But it feels like this is everything. Like I don't need or want anything more. Oh, sure, I'd love to change the world. But for my own life, and I think I can say for my wife's sake, this is where I/we want to be. Glenn