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This is Where I Want to Be.

Saturday, June 06, 2020

Hello to all of you in Spark land. Here are some of my thoughts on health.

Right before I was sixty, and when I was still working, I felt I had had enough of the workplace. I was suffering from chronic nausea that would happen at about 2 in the afternoon on my shift as a mental health counselor. I would often go home or cancel appointments, and decided to quit and apply for Social Security Disability. My wife helped me fill out the form, and seemingly out of nowhere, we came up with about 25 different diagnoses I had had over the prior years. Shortly after applying, I was called for an interview with a physician. A few weeks later, BAM, I was approved. I already sort of knew this retirement was semi-permanent. This directive made it more so.

Among the things I suffered from were an as yet undiagnosed spinal stenosis, which made walking sometimes difficult, and coronary artery disease, which had already led to placement of four stents in my heart.

Years after leaving work, I had surgery for the stenosis, and open heart surgery, and even more stents. I now have congestive heart failure.

It is my difficulty walking and wearing out easily that would make me be considered disabled, and some might say severely disabled. However, I am here to say that I am a happier man now than I was when I was doing what I thought my life's work would be.

I live with and care for my wife, also disabled, and my dog, a nine year old Aussie-doodle (who barks too much). I spend my time reading online or reading books, cooking and cleaning up, doing all of our errands, watching news shows with my wife, contacting friends and family, Sparking, just sitting and thinking or taking naps, reclining out on our deck with a glass of green iced tea and soaking up the sun, and now, as of late, riding every other day on my recumbent stationary bike. And this is all I need. I work towards achieving greater health, and still love it when my doctor tells me my numbers are good. But it feels like this is everything. Like I don't need or want anything more. Oh, sure, I'd love to change the world. But for my own life, and I think I can say for my wife's sake, this is where I/we want to be. Glenn
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    In the end that is exactly the kind of life we should all be aspiring to.
    32 days ago
  • 10XPERLB
    35 days ago
    I was moved by your blog. I wish you continued happiness. I, too, have been moving away from fretting over the โ€œstate of our nationโ€ and other things going on around me that make me unhappy. Though the pandemic has been frightening and overwhelming, it has made those of us who are lucky enough to be untouched and happy in our own lives grateful for the everyday blessings.
    49 days ago
    55 days ago
    I am glad to see you back, Glenn. You are doing what we should all try to do... the best we can, where we are.

    Be careful, be safe,
    66 days ago
    emoticon and emoticon emoticon

    I am completely changing my outlook on life, probably because of the coronavirus. Just being alive and focusing on living and doing healthy things or just resting seems enough. I totally get it.
    67 days ago
    Welcome back Glenn....great to see you and so awesome to read your blog....
    You have found contentment.....enjoy it
    67 days ago
    Calm and peaceful contentment: what all of us want, what is always available to each of us and what I'm happy to hear you are experiencing! You listened to yourself and moved in the direction that was best for you and your wife.
    67 days ago
    Glenn, it gave me great pleasure reading your blog. It's so good to hear you are 'where you want to be.' In my life's journey, I have yet to reach this point. Or maybe I here already and just have to accept it. Be well, my friend. I wish you the best!
    67 days ago
    67 days ago
    Fantastic. DH retired in July 2019 (not all his idea), but now that we're into a routine, well, sort of, given the co-vid, we really are counting our blessings Turned out to be a blessing in disguise for us, for sure. He's 68 and planned to work till 70 (per their insistence), but guess other plans prevailed.

    Enjoy your time!

    67 days ago
    Such a sweet and sincere message. You have one lucky wife! You are right where you need to be.
    67 days ago
    Contentment Glenn is good for one's health! There comes a time in our lives when the energy required to "change the world" is better spent on maintaining ourselves so enjoy the space you are in and tell yourself "job well done!" emoticon
    67 days ago
  • LOF7203
    Good for you
    67 days ago
    Welcome back my friend ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜. So happy to hear your life is pointed in the right direction for you๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ’“. That breather was well worth it. Hoping you can continue thinking positive and live one day at a time. God bless you and your wife๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™Œ
    67 days ago
    Great blog Glen..glad to see you..our stories are similar. I can relate. I always wanted to change the world also..finally realized.all I have control over is myself..Hang in there Glen..take it one day at a time and do your best...that is all anyone can expect of themselves
    67 days ago
    67 days ago
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