I got overwhelmed and fell into an old habit last night
Tuesday, July 21, 2020
My fiance came home upset about something that happened at work and the dinner I made didn't turn out like I wanted it to and for whatever reason these two things upset me more than they normally would and I responded by eating too much. Ok, I know why, it's a mixture of hormones and stress and feeling helpless and not getting enough sleep the night before. I have a doctor's appointment I'm nervous about today. Still, I haven't done the binge thing in quite a while and I'm upset that I did last night. I'm getting so much better at not eating my emotions, but it's what happened last night.
It's not the end of the world and I'm determined to do better today, but I was hoping I was getting past eating everything in sight as a way to cope. It never helps! I know it never helps. It makes me feel bad and I know it's a bad idea. I've got to find an effective way to respond to getting overwhelmed, which is something that happens to me whether I want it to or not, that doesn't involve eating. I can be good at distracting myself but I just wasn't last night.
Because of covid my fiance can't go with me to the appointment, but I wish he could. I'm doing really well but my incision is better but not healed yet, even though it's been five weeks since surgery. I'm afraid the doctor will want to cauterize the remaining problem areas and I'm not looking forward to it. The smell alone makes me feel sick. I'm trying not to think or worry about it too much, but I'm failing.
But, the band for my Fitbit should come in today so hopefully I can get up early tomorrow morning and go for a walk. Today I'm looking for a water bottle tote because I don't go anywhere without my inhaler, tissues, and my phone, and my purse is too big to take on a serious walk. I already planned out my meals for the day, keeping in mind that I'll be at the doctor's office for an unknown amount of time. I slept much better last night than the night before, and I'm determined not to let being overwhelmed make me do something I regret, at least not after last night. And I'm not going to be bogged down by a slip-up. I've got too much else to do!