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One step forward and about a million backward....

Friday, July 31, 2020

Feeling VERY frustrated! This has been weighing on my mind since last week. I went to the pulmonologist to address what is most likely sleep apnea. When the Dr. entered the room... before the door was completely open, before he was all the way in the room, before he knew my name or why I was there, before he knew ANYTHING about me, like recently being diagnosed with Autoimmune issues, he asked, "Have you considered bariatric surgery?" Of course my answer was "Uh, no?"

You wanna know why? Just 6 months ago, I saw a team of doctors/nurses. One told me I had a large nodule on my thyroid (its benign, but growing). One told me I'm deaf in my left ear (unseen scars from an abusive relationship). One told me that with my family history, cancer Is almost a definite at some point. Then, there was my angel. My knight in wrinkled scrubs! This one told me that even though I look like I'm morbidly obese, according to his pincers and soft tape, I only needed to lose 27 pounds to have a healthy BMI. I even passed the stress test AND the fireman's fit for duty test, which I was not required to take or pass. I took it because I wanted to know!

So, how in the world could this medical professional make such a snap judgement? Of course in the end, we scheduled my sleep study and on the way out of the office, he said, "I really think you should seriously consider the surgery." After leaving his office, my mind spiraled! Did I really need to consider weight loss surgery? I started thinking back to how many of my doctors appointments went from some basic ailment to my needing to lose weight. And how ridiculous the connection was.

So, here I am. Ready to do it my way because elective surgery is not for me. Not now, not during a global pandemic, and not ever. Some people have no other option, and that makes sense. But I plan on doing this the natural way, because its what's best for me.
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