Wednesday, August 05, 2020
Since my husband's death on July 24th which just happens to be our 27th wedding😭 anniversary things have been very difficult, as you can imagine..
I used to love to exercise. And now just something of a pastime.
My eating habits have suffered. I've been basically living off of his ensure and boost drinks because I haven't had an appetite n I don't want to pass out.
Tonight I ate my second dinner since he died.
ldk why is it feels different because we basically never really ate together anyway because of a work schedule.
There was many a night where I cooked for 1 and ate by myself and was fine. Other than dropping my plate because of my SCI. 😆 No problems.
It feels different now.
Everything feels different.
Not only did my husband die too young n too soon.
But soon I'm going to face eviction and I have to put down a dog (old n cancer 😥)
And then find a place to live that will let me keep my other pets.
But that's a pipe dream because we weren't prepared for this, my husband had no life insurance.
I spoke to a grief counselor and I think I'm supposed to speak to her again this Friday I'm not sure my mind is reeling with everything I have to do. It doesn't help.
Without my husband who I've been with since I was 19 years old, I feel lost, incomplete and, alone. I have no family nor did we ever have any children.
I need to make sure I keep my movement up because of my sci bc it's a part of both my OT and PT at home.
I must to make eating a priority. Because if I don't have my health will suffer.
Sometimes you just have to put one foot in front of the other and doing nothing more