Wednesday, August 26, 2020
Coming up this weekend, National Grief Awareness Day is 30 August. Grief affects everyone’s life. I think I have had an average amount in my own life.
The first time I had to deal with grief was when my parents split up when I was 10. The next time was about 4 years later when the dog I grew up with died.
My first husband (father of my two children) died of cancer in 1999. We had a rocky relationship due to many factors, but I still loved him and miss him and love it when he shows up in my children’s posture or speech or gestures. He would have been so proud of them both.
My brother died in 2009 at age 34 in a BASE-jumping accident. He was almost 20 years younger than me so we did not grow up together, and though it was hard for me, it was even more tragic for my dad & step-mom.
I was 60 when my mom died and 65 when both my dad and mother-in-law died last month, all were natural (and not COVID-related) and expected.
Our most recent two dogs died in 2011 and 2016. I still miss them and hope we can get a dog or two when retire and no longer live in an apartment.
One of the most difficult losses for me was a week before my grandson was born, in December 2017. My best friend, Judith, was struck and killed by a car as she crossed the street a block from her house. Because it was so sudden and unexpected, it has taken me longer to grieve.
Many of us and those around us have more grief than usual at this time during the pandemic. Plus it has been made more difficult by having to distance from loved ones when we would normally rely on healing touches and embraces. Our loss of normal life is also something we grieve.
Each time a new loss comes, all the others come flooding back, and I process more each time. Grief has changed me for the better. I believe I have more empathy for others and greater appreciation of each day.