LONGLEANNLANKY
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Finally back to Sparking and exercising

Friday, September 25, 2020

I’ve been away quite some time. A lot has happened. I lost my dear Father in November, he succumbed to melanoma. I miss speaking him and visiting him, even if it took a day to get there. I divorced in January, after 38 years. Also caught Covid January thru February. Started a new job February. Broke my fibula and fractured my ankle early March. Called back to work right as I healed, May 1. Living together amicably, although divorced now, which for some reason is easier than living life married. Boundaries are put in place.
trying to decluttering attic garage and basement to consider home sale.
Two of my adult children won’t speak to me since filing for divorce. They think I walked out of their lives, in choosing to divorce their Father, because I didn’t discuss with any of them in advance.
“She had her reasons”
I knew this would be the result, the kids would get mad at me and think their Father a victim, and it has happened just as I expected. They were taught I was not to be valued, a long time ago.
Life is GOOD, is spite of everything I have endured. And I smile every single day and even laugh out loud.
I’m no longer living life beneath the radar. Depression over living a life without self nurturing or companionship or respect, was nothing I could endure any longer, and I haven’t regretted my choice for a single moment.
I can value myself, and find value in each of my days. I trust I God that life will unfold as it should, and peace will prevail. No matter how long it takes.
I’ve survived my own poor decisions, I’ve survived plenty, and life is exactly what I choose to make it from here on in. Good and well worth living. No more ruminating and isolating in grief.

Today I kayaked with a friend, her lake was so peaceful and serene. It was a simple joy.
I also felt inspired to use my elliptical after a short walk in my neighborhood. I went slow as molasses for 2 hours on the elliptical, while I watched HGTV. I tracked all of my food and was happy to see just 1700 calories. This was such a perfect day, start to finish.
Life is GOOD.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • 2BDYNAMIC
    emoticon And I am sorry you have gone through so much but please do not feel you are alone with grown children who apparently don't understand your decision. Kids seldom do I am sorry to say. I Don't think my two children have ever forgiven me for divorcing their father and that was decades ago! I hope you will be able To go forward and hold your head at high regardless! ...::: The same comes to mind right now which is: " Unless you've Walked a mile in someone else's shoes don't judge. " No one can possibly know, But I do hope they will mature enough to realize things happen between a man and wife which is really only their business and for everyone else to butt out. ...May the Heavenly Father keep you in his loving arms And I pray and abundance of peace and blessings for you in the days to come!
    60 days ago
  • _CYNDY55_
    welcome back
    62 days ago
  • BUTTONPOPPER1
    You have been through so much--losing your father, catching Covid, getting divorced, being shunned by your children. It all seems like too much to bear, but the tone of your blog is positive and hopeful, and you seem quite happy about your new freedom. I salute your courage, and I imagine that as time goes by, your children will come to understand your situation and include you in their lives. This must all still be rather painful, but I do believe you are right when you say that "life will unfold as it should, and peace will prevail."

    May God and your angels be with you as you find your way toward who you've deep down always wanted to be.
    emoticon
    62 days ago
  • -POOKIE-
    Welcome back.

    You have certainly had a rough ride of things. I hope your path ahead is smoother.

    emoticon
    63 days ago
  • ZRIE014
    welcome back
    63 days ago
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