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A New Decade For Us

Friday, November 27, 2020

For those of us who struggle with low self-esteem....lets turn it around!

It’s been a while since I tickled the keys of my laptop on this site. All October I thought about it since it was Domestic Violence Awareness month. To be honest I just didn’t want to think about that topic.

There is a term found in The Good Book: Long Suffering. It means to stand with a person, place, or thing, or situation for a long time…to endure. It also means strength under control…because that is what it takes to maintain this quality.

I have been long suffering with the wrong things.
I endured abuse for several years.
I endured the low life that alcoholism brings for decades.
I have stayed in a run down converted apartment for a couple years rather than look for something better out of fear I couldn’t due to my lack of credit history.

But there are things that I have not suffered long through.
I have left jobs on the spur of the moment.
I have cut friendships off quicker than you can cross a street.
I moved across the country so I didn’t have to deal with my negative family.

Today I heard someone say we need to be long suffering with ourselves.

Hmmm, That is a new one to me.

You see I am NOT patient with myself.
I have spent years reading self-help books trying to fix whatever was broken in me that was driving my low self esteem. The self-help books did not work because I wasn’t the horrible person I thought I was. People told me over and over that I was likable. That I wasn’t broken. That I was a good person. BUT I just couldn’t hear it for a LONG time.

I know you are out there! (You who feel the same)
You feel you are stuck.
You always feel miserable and are very negative and pessimistic about life.
You think you are a failure.
You are–
“a bad mom”
“a lousy friend”
“a pathetic wife or gf”
You just can’t see much good in you.

Today I am announcing the start of a new decade for you.
Yes, I know a decade is a long time to stick with something (long suffering). I am asking you to be your own biggest cheerleader for the next 10 years!!!

Tolerate your flaws and work on one at a time.
Give yourself a break if you stop doing things that are good for you– just pick them back up again
Give yourself enough time every morning to start your day with a peaceful ritual– don’t just rev up your anxious thoughts and your hectic speed.
Get exercise– even a little a day will help boost your energy and give you pride of follow through.
GET OUT of abusive situations.
GET HELP for any addictions.
Set a couple do-able goals for each 6 months. Complete them and revel in the feeling of accomplishment.

I left this list vague because for the most part you do not have to be told what to do. You know what is right. You know what you need to do. You know what would bring you joy and make you feel good. It’s OK– more than OK– to THRIVE. We don’t have to just survive.

Sometimes people get so weighed down by the negative things other people say about us. Just because someone says something belittling about you (even if it is over and over) that does not make it true.

You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. Get out from under being or playing the victim. Take control of your life to make it better. But be long suffering. Stick with it. Don’t give up on yourself. If you let your life slide into negativity– stop where you are and draw up a plan to get back on track. This may mean you have to change people, places, things, and situations in your life that are damaging for you. Do it!

Today is the start of a new decade for us!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Yes we do need to address negative people, jobs, things that we have done, and change our day!
    I really need to spend some time with these things to address and think about.

    Thank you for writing. Bless you
    92 days ago
    Well, we surely do need to realize we ARE innately good. We have to reinforce that message. Unfortunately, there are just those times in life where the influence of things or people negate solid thinking.

    YES a new start. A fresh start. Start w/loving ourselves. All else will flow.
    92 days ago
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