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jokes and winter activities

Saturday, January 23, 2021

My favorite winter activities?
1. When I was young I like sledding down the hill of our
back yard. Now I like watching my great niece and nephew sledding.
2. I look forward to new tv show and the return of my favorite shows.
3. watching winter sports such as football on tv
4. taking short walks
5. Watching movies
6. drinking hot chocolate,
7. snowball fights
8. Building a snowman
9. playing games with the family
10. surfing the internet

The Art of Meditation – You Have the Right to Remain Silent
. All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my right hand.

My son has taken up meditation - at least it's better than sitting doing nothing.

Did you hear about the yogi who was having a filling put in a tooth? When the dentist asked him if he wanted Novocain, the yogi said, "No. I can transcend dental medication."

Bill, Jim & Scott were at a convention together & were sharing
a large suite on the top of a 75-story skyscraper.
After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear that
the elevators in their hotel were broken & they would have to
climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.
Bill said to Jim & Scott, "Let's break the monotony of this
unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll
tell jokes for 25 flights, Jim can sing songs for the next
25 flights and Scott can tell sad stories for the rest of the way."
At the 26th floor, Bill stopped telling jokes & Jim began to
sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing & Scott began to tell
sad stories.
"I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room
key in the car!"

At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy
asking what time the bar opens.
"It opens at noon," answers the clerk.
About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding
even drunker. "What time does the bar open?" he asks.
"Same time as before... Noon," replies the clerk.
Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered, "Whatjoo
shay the bar opins at?"
The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you can't
wait, I can have room service send something up to you."
"No... I don't wanna git in... Ah wanna git OUT!!!"

A couple was checking out of the hotel after their honeymoon.
When the bill was presented an argument occurred.
"What is this item...$200. for meal?" inquired the groom.
"We have never eaten in your dining room. All I had was beer
in the suite, with eggs that I brought with me."
"Yes sir," replied the manager, "but the wedding package
included meals and the food was there for you. If you didn't
take them, it's not our fault."
"In that case," answered the groom, "we are even, completely
even...because you owe me $200. for making love to my wife!"
"But, I never touched your wife!" protested the manager.
"Well, she was there for you," said the groom. "If you didn't
use her, it's not my fault!!"

The drunk staggered up to the hotel reception and demanded his
room be changed.
"But sir," said the clerk, "you have the best room in the hotel."
"I insist on another room!!" said the drunk.
"Very good, sir. I`ll change you from 502 to 555. Would you mind
telling me why you don't like 502?" asked the clerk.
"Well, for one thing," said the drunk, "it's on fire."
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