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jokes and January

Saturday, January 30, 2021

Do you think January has been a successful month for you?
In some way yes in other no.
If so, what did you do that made it successful? If not, what can you change to reach a higher level of success in the upcoming months?
January have been a difficult month for me. I lost my mom on DEC.29
I am having a difficult time dealing with it. So for the first 3 weeks of JAN I
ate everything I could get my hands on. But I gotten over that and now am
controlling my eating. I still have my exercise streak going but now increase
the min. I am doing each day. I am also doing more difficult exercises. I
also was eating in the middle of the night again, But I stop that. I need to work on my freggie and water intake.

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office.
“Is it true,” she wanted to know, “that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?”
“Yes, I’m afraid so,” the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied…
“I’m wondering, then, just how serious is my condition, because this prescription is marked ‘NO

Back Seat Driver Joke
My daughter sure showed me what a back seat driver I am! On our way to the mall today, I stopped short at a red light causing the car to jolt. As soon as I jerked my 3 year old in the back seat hollered Daaaaave. Not sure why she had called my husband’s name, I asked her why she had said what she did. ”That’s what you say when someone stops like that”, she innocently replied.

Wife – You hate my relatives!
Husband – No, I don’t! In fact, I like your mother-in-law more than I like mine.

An onion can make people cry but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh. ~ Will Rogers

When I come to one of the forks in the road of life, I don’t waste time and energy wishing it was a spoon. ~ Miss Piggy

All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.

If all is not lost, where is it?

It was all so different before everything changed.

Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.

I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few ...

When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

It's not hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.

Spirituality Jokes
The Art of Meditation – You Have the Right to Remain Silent
My son has taken up meditation - at least it's better than sitting doing nothing.

Did you hear about the yogi who was having a filling put in a tooth? When the dentist asked him if he wanted Novocain, the yogi said, "No. I can transcend dental medication."

While talking about meditation techniques, a Zen master once said to me, "Do the opposite of whatever I tell you." So
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