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Thursday, January 24, 2008

Ok so Im not really a blogger so to speak but figured I give it a try.

I signed up for this Kmart New Day contest and Im already stressed out from it. You must lose 2lbs every 2 weeks and can only miss that mark once in a 12 week period. I was so excited last week when I had lost 4lbs. it was like YES this is gonna work. Well this week Im retaining water and afraid that the scale on Saturday is going to hate me. I dont want to miss the mark on the first weigh in. On top of that I was suppose to recieve an activation link for their support community and it hasnt come. Ive sent emails about it and am still waiting. I wonder if my entry was even sent in. In a way I would probably be relieved if it wasnt.

On top of that its just not easy fitting in proper workouts with almost 1 year old twins. Their schedule takes up so much of my day that I have to try and squeeze something in during naps. Some days at that time I dont feel like it. I have no one to come watch them for me so I can get some time in and by the time the older kids and DH is home theres too much going on.

I want to do this and I thought it be easier second time around since I know what needs to be done. Its not!!!! I wish I didnt gain my weight back, I wish I tried harder after the boys came home to finish off those 8lbs that I had left to lose. No stupid me goes and gains 50lb. How in the world could I have let myself do that???

Im too heavy for my TM, the eliptical kills me, the bike makes my ass sore and I just have to bide my time and wait for the Gazelle to arrive. I am so hoping that at least will make it easier to fit in some good exercise. Something I can do while the babies are awake.

I dont to be one who complains all the time. Im just sooooo frustrated right now, and my body hurts from the fibro!

Kmart weigh in schedule:
1/12: 281.6

WISH ME LUCK! Im gonna need it. There were actually women signing up who weighed what I want to weigh at goal. They havent got a clue on how it feels to be over 200lbs or pushing 300lbs. One woman cried because she weighed 134lbs!!! Can you believe that??? Someone really needs to slap her. Its the people who only have a max of 50lbs that win those contests anyway because they can slim down and tone up and look good. Those of us who are obese can slim down but no matter how much you tone its still not going to be appealing enough for the judging. What was I thinking??? How am I gonna compete with that? Its all going to be about image, I know it. Who's going to want to give someone who is still obese a makeover and photo shoot to represent their company??

Alright Im just psyching myself down now so Ill stop.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Honey! I know just how you're feeling - about so much of this! No, I am not 200lbs now - I was 215lb the day I delivered by boys though. Almost two years - so trying, some not, I was down to 160lbs. I had been steady there for too long - and then in the past few months added quite a few more pounds (life runs you over some times!).

    So, the one thing I really want to say is that IT DOES GET BETTER! Those kids - who remind me so much of mine, pulling each other off toys and tackling - will get bigger and more independent. And I'm not talking about years from now. I have really seen a major turn around in how much I can do in a day in the past five months or so - mine are 20 months now.

    Their naps are a bit easier and more consistent. I put a gate up in their bedroom door - and now they play in there together while I put clothes away in the other rooms, make beds, etc. I can even take a shower once in a while!!! So, workouts are fitting into my life a bit better these days. On the days when things don't go as scheduled (more often than not) and we can't get to the gym, I am able to get a video in during their nap.

    As for not enjoying the workouts.... it takes 21 days to create a habit (and just 3 days to break it!). I know things like the bike are uncomfortable - but there is a certain amount of "suckit up" that needs to happen in the beginning. I used to ride bikes long distance - and believe me, I hated it at first!!! But eventually - with time and a GREAT pair of padded bike shorts - you get used to it. You can also buy a more comfortable seat (it sounded as if you own a bike at home?).

    Anyway - we can keep chatting about this stuff if you wish - really I just wanted to get on and sympathize with you. Twins is really hard! But then I look at a good friend of mine with QUADS and I realize - there is always someone who has it harder!

    You are doing great, don't be too hard on yourself - is what everyone keeps telling me :-)
    4778 days ago
    Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow! You NEED to blog more often to get your frustrations out it would seem. You poor thing! Bottling up all that must take SO much energy!

    I think that the K-Mart contest can be a motivator if you look at it another way. First, who cares about the twigs?! This is about YOU! If you lose 1 pound a week, that's quite an accomplishment in the grand scheme of things, so don't get discouraged. Heck, right now my body doesn't even want to lose 1/2 a pound in a week, so go you. Also, a company like K-Mart WANTS the average person to succeed and post it because the majority of their clients aren't a size 2! It would appeal more to their market to have someone succeed that is like everyone else. So don't sit there and think no matter what you won't win because you're just setting yourself up for disappointment. Right now more than anything, you need positive thinking.

    As for your working out at home while taking care of 1 yr old twins...why not include them in your workout? Lifting a baby up above your head helps to work the chest and back muscles, and they love to "fly." Prop one of them on your tummy and do some crunches. They'll think its some sort of game. Try dancing with them in each arm! That will get your heart going and it will be a bonding experience too. If you have a stroller or wagon, go for a walk outside for 15-20 minutes. Children aren't the end of your life, you just have to find ways to include them when you can if you can't find alone time.

    Really, if you need anything, please let me know. I'm routing for ya!
    4780 days ago
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