Now I'm 65!

Yes, some days are like that.

Thursday - and after 7 hrs sleep I really did not want to get out of my warm bed this morning. I'm working 7.30-17.00 today, then there's recorder group again this evening (practising for a Christmas Carol thing).

I can have an early night tonight, and I don't have to be up early tomorrow. Tomorrow is GW's funeral.

Later: When I got home, my feet were so weary that I soaked them in a bowl with lavender and sandalwood until the water went cold! I didn't go to recorder group today. I am going to bed with a cup of cocoa and a book to read.

Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 12/5/2019 (14:39)

You do keep busy.

Wednesday (already!)

So - yes, woke up at work after only 6 hrs sleep, so feeling pretty tired now.

I have library banking to do, then a recorder group meet-up, a Cornish evening class, some shopping to do, and a bag of unwanted medication to take back to the chemist (involves a nice walk!)

I'll just do one thing at a time!

It's the winter weather thing. sunny and cold or warm and wet. Well, wet is warm meteorologically. It doesn't always feel warmer. Often the dampness cuts deeper then the cold temperatures. I'm glad you are getting outside in the sunshine.

The weekend weight appeared on the scales this morning - 117lbs.


It's sharp and cold, but the sun has come out again, which is such a blessing.


My friend, GH (whose husband recently died) is coming over this morning - we will chant and chat, then go for lunch together.

I'm off to work at 4.30 pm, but will probably try to get there earlier to have a 'catch-up' on the messages and info! I'm doing a sleep-in shift.

When I did my arm strength-training this morning I realised I need to up the weights a little - it's now too easy.

Yes, you're right about my sister. If I ever stop running she won't know what to give me! Mind you, I never know what to give her either!

I tried to make myself a mug of hot chocolate with that luxury chocolate orange stuff - and it was basically orange-flavoured vegan chocolate flaked............ you can probably imagine.......... I started wanting to eat it by the spoonful. So, after a few spoonfuls, I tipped it all in the rubbish bin! Terrible I know, but I can not have stuff like that in the house!

Monday - and it took me 30 mins of 'snooze' before I could lever myself out of my warm bed, but I did, and went out for a frosty, but beautiful run! The sun came up and is glorious!

When I got home there was a phone call from work desperate for cover today - I said "No, sorry!"

Today I am going to buy myself a cobalt blue jumper I saw last week, and this afternoon I'm going to have a recorder lesson. For lunch I'm going to buy a SALAD from the wholefood shop.

My weight is, amazingly, still on-track!

It's nice you could be with your family for your birthday, packaged foods, long queues and rubbish coffee not withstanding. I was thinking more towards hearing your grandson sing. It's nice you have the day after to recover! Those were very thoughtful gifts. Your sister has certainty come around. At least parkrun gives her one area where she can 'get' you. One thing in common can be all it takes to bring us closer together.

We had a vegan Thanksgiving dinner. J and I made vegan versions of all the traditional side dishes. We chose not to even try replacing the traditional turkey.

I'm home!

I've had a decent cup of decaff coffee and oatmilk - almost restored!

I've had some brilliant presents - my sister sent me a head-torch for running (just what I wanted), and a light-weight waterproof running jacket, some wrist-warmers and a new head band. My son and d-i-l bought me a lovely purple music stand (just what I wanted), some gloves and a scarf. My d-i-l made me a quilted cafetiere cosy (just what I wanted) - which is bright and cheerful, and fits perfectly. One friend gave me a shoulder bag which I don't like - and it's going to the charity shop; (I don't know why, but she always seems to get me something I don't like!) My brother sent me some luxury vegan chocolate orange drink mix - which I'm going to enjoy!

But, most of all, I'm so glad to be home. I did think I might run when I got home - but I'm too tired. I'm going to make myself a Sunday night treat of hot chocolate with my birthday mixture. I'm going to watch a film or something, then clamber into my cosy bed.

I don't have to work tomorrow - thankfully - so I can get myself back together before work on Tuesday.

Thank you!

Happy Birthday!



Have a (small) piece of cake and smile!

The Xmas fair was a dud because of massive queues to get in.
My food has been pre-packaged at every meal so far - I feel flabby and unhealthy already!!!! Amazing isn't it?!

I have managed vegan wraps (falafel every time!), A Planet Earth vegan curry which was disappointing. Tonight a vegan pizza with cauliflower crust.

Rubbish coffee.

Gosh, staying with other people is hard!

Friday went well. We had nice weather too!

In the evening we went to look at Bath Xmas Market. It wasn't as amazing as I'd anticipated, but I was glad to have seen it.

Lovely to see the family. My grandson is now quite chatty and sings a lot.

Saturday

I was pleased to be able to do my exercise routine of sun salutations and hip mobilizers before the family got up.

Today we're off the Ashton Court - another Xmas market, where my d-i-l nan is running a cake stall!

It's my 65th!

I had a great day on Thursday - I had the morning and lunch with my friends at the beach cafe - it was really, really lovely! Actually we all chose something vegan! There was discussion (as ever!) over the meal about vegan/meat-eating. CB was brought up on a dairy farm and still says that the cows have a 'good life' etc. I asked her "what happens to the young male calves?" - of course, they just get sent off to slaughter. She's slowly changing though - cooking more vegetarian and vegan meals.

I'm as diplomatic as possible and try to steer her away from these discussions. I say things like "Well, everyone is different, and our bodies need different things - I know that I don't need to eat meat, but I think perhaps some people do." I told them about the pictures I'd seen of intensive frog-farming in France. I didn't tell them to watch the terrible footage I saw yesterday of turkeys being 'prepared' for the thanksgiving and Christmas market. It was unbelievable really.

I was back home in time to go to a Buddhist planning meeting at 4 pm. Then I was also in time to get to the Thursday night recorder group - which I enjoyed. One of the women who lives in the same direction as me, asked if she could walk back to town with me, which was nice.

Friday

I've been waking very early and dozing. I think I've programmed myself to wake at 5.30 am even when I don't need to.

I was up and out for a run at 7 am. That means I have done four runs this week (a record!) and I'll run again on Sunday evening when I get back from Bath.

I was expecting to get a bus this morning, to a pick-up point. But it turns out that CB's hubby left his phone at work in Penzance, so he has to come into town to pick it up - so I'm getting picked up from town. That's a win for me!

When I think about it - all my friends who have replacement hips and knees are all meat eaters. I don't know any vegetarians or vegans with joint replacements - I'm sure there must be some.

Thursday

and today I'm being taken out to lunch by my two friends CB and JB! I've checked the menu, and there are three vegan 'tapas' dishes that I can choose from (one is a bread and oil thing though........ I'll skip that one I think, and go for the rosemary salted fries - which comes with a garlic mayo thing which I could skip, but probably won't!)

I've done my exercises and stretches. Got to get cracking now to get on the bus to St Ives.

I'm looking forward to travelling to Bath to see my little family tomorrow. I can connect to internet at their house, so I won't be off-line.

Wednesday

I slept well, woke in the dark and was surprised to see it was 7.20 am. I lingered a while in bed, but stopped myself falling right back to sleep because I know it makes me feel rotten.

I got up and went for a run (7.2km 50 mins) in the rain, which was wild and wonderful!


I didn't get my porridge until almost 10.30 am. Phew!

Today I have recorder group, and evening class, but I'm already wondering whether I will cross the evening class off my list. I think I will!

I'll take it easy today. My body feels tired after the three days of running. I think some floor work - stretches, yoga, foam roller - might be the better option this evening.

My weight was up to 117 after the weekend, but back down to 114 this morning. Amazing, isn't it?! I'm anticipating my birthday weekend trip to Bath, and wondering how flexible to be about what I eat. I think I'm going to do my best to make vegan options whenever possible, and perhaps choose potato carbs over wheat carbs (bread, pasta, couscous). So when eating out there are often options for things like baked potatoes, or wedges - and usually a salad of some sort on the menu. Hummus and falafel things are usually on the menu in most places too. I'll be fine.

little addendum - my son did the 'find your Daemon' quiz and got Red Squirrel too!
My comment "what were the chances of that happening?"
His reply "genetics!"

Contradicting her probably wouldn't have changed anything. You would still be in the car together. Glad you can find it funny, not frustrating. I hope you don't catch the uncatchable cold.

Monday was OK - I bought some very nice, soft, warm, comfortable teal-coloured opaque tights (big thing for me!) and my dress, etc. The funeral went 'well'.

Funny story - one of the passengers in the car had a cold - she said "It's not catching - I just got very wet when I was out the other evening". I didn't contradict her, but I thought "Does she really believe that getting wet makes her have a special kind of cold that's not catching?!?!?!?" The other person in the car, the driver, didn't contradict her either, but I'm sure she was keeping quiet, like me!

I came home and made a delicious lentil soup, and watched the latest episode of His Dark Materials on iPlayer.


Tuesday

I've been for a run.

This morning I did a 'what's your daemon?' quiz on CBBC and got Red Squirrel!



I have a friend coming to supper with me - I'm making a Spanish Spicy Stew (chick peas, butternut squash, olives, tomatoes) which I like. For afters I'm going to serve dates stuffed with peanut butter and cocoa powder. Then we're going to a political meeting together (Labour Party Q & A).

It's extremely windy here today and Morrab Gardens are closed, so I cannot go to the library to do any voluntary work today.

I'm glad the rest day helped.

I had a lovely restful day on Sunday - just what I needed. I didn't watch His Dark Materials, but I listened to 90 mins of "Gormenghast" (BBC 1984) on YouTube and knitted a square for my blanket project.

Monday

I slept well, and have been for a run. Today's main event in the funeral of my friend, Tom, who died recently. I've got a lift there and back, which is nice. I've fished out my dress, picked out a sweater and a scarf. I have to buy some tights in town this morning as I don't want to go bare-legged.

That's about it today really. I'm not setting myself any more hard tasks today.

Sunday

I was woken in the night by people outside in the street (effectively just under my bedroom window) giggling, drunk etc. I was wide awake, so put the light on, made a drink of tea, and listened to a BBC (1984) play based on Mervyn Peak's "Titus Groan" on YouTube (well, half of it). It was great to hear it again. I'd mentioned it to someone at work yesterday, so was really pleased to find the whole thing on YouTube.

I got back to sleep OK. When I woke, I decided not to go for a run. I actually wanted to go for a run - so it wasn't a matter of not wanting to run - but I decided I really needed a day of REST! So I got dressed and went for a walk along the sea-front. I met a friend out walking with her little grandson - it was a nice morning.

I've been contentedly making Xmas cards and getting parcels ready to take with me to Bath on Friday.

I had a lovely cauliflower/pea/carrot/sweet potato/cashew nut/coconut curry for lunch. This afternoon I'm going to relax on the sofa and watch another episode of His Dark Materials on iPlayer.

I have some other stuff to do - like ruling up my BUJO for December. But nothing pressing or difficult. So, getting my Day of Rest.

Hello I have just read your journal for the first time. I wish you support and comfort dealing with your physical challenges and your sadness at losing your friends. I like your signature quote--that is so true. We must keep going, and we are making progress. I do so want to be perfect but I just can't. But I keep trying and keep on pressing thru life. And thru my fitness program.

I’m very sorry you have lost two close friends this past week. May you find piece in chanting and remembering. It is a good time to remember how the spiritual practice, mental exercise and health habits sustain you. Blessings.

Good tip!

I now travel with earplugs where ever I go. Does wonders, especially at the bowling ally where everyone is deaf from too loud music, exploding pins, and the very boisterous players when they get a strike.

Reduces stress and fatigue from all the noise.

Friday felt like quite a Big Day in some ways......... I almost forgot to do my voluntary work at the library - and just had time to do it between lunch and the blood donation!

Blood donation wasn't the most wonderful experience I've ever had. It was noisy as they play loud background music the whole time, for confidentiality. It was like being in the gym for an hour! That (the noise) was more exhausting to me than the blood donation itself! But I did it. And I walked home afterwards.

Then I sat on the sofa and had tea, then watched a film.

Sadly, I had a call from GH to let me know when the funeral will be .......... which was a shock because I hadn't had the news that her husband had died. Apparently he died on Wednesday night around midnight, at the hospice.

That rocked me somewhat. I have now got two funerals to attend in the next fortnight.

Saturday

And I'm up, exercised, ready for work. It's an early start, so an early finish - I'll be done by 15.30 h.

I spent some money yesterday - I bought an ebook and downloaded an album of music. The book is David Walliams "The Beast of Buckingham Palace" and the album is Jamie Cullum "Taller - extended edition"

Today I think I'm going to buy some wool - and do some knitting; it'll be good mindful activity to do whilst I process all the emotional stuff I've got going on.

The recorder practice was great - I love playing in the ensemble - so glad to have found this 'hobby' and this particular teacher and group.

I had a nice cup of hot cocoa before I went to bed last night - I still kind of needed soothing after my grazed knees in the morning!

Friday - and I slept well. I have a day off, and today I'm doing that first blood donation. So, again, I'm soothing myself with food - I'm going to have a pasty and cup of tea about an hour before I go, and I'm having some vegan chocolate afterwards - although, even as I type this I'm wondering about making some dates stuffed with almond butter and cocoa..............

I'm aware of my toes most days at the moment, and although I don't think of it as 'pain' I guess it is, to some extent. Those two big toe joints are stiff, and I get a bruised feeling in a couple of toes, which I think might be related to where I've injured them in the recent past. I'm trying to include toe/foot exercises in my daily routine, and am thinking of making myself an essential oil mixture to rub into them at night (black pepper, wintergreen........)

It's a wet, grey day again. But it's November and I don't mind really. My box of Xmas gifts that are 'ready-to-go' is growing daily, and I feel like I'm on top of things this year.

I'm going to make a different vegan roast for my Xmas meal this year - it's a 'turkey' roast made with wheat gluten, and cranberries. I've got the wheat gluten on my shopping list today.

youtu.be/-XKwuHL71F8

Wednesday was just work really - I had to stay on another half-an-hour, so I missed the Buddhist meeting I had intended to go to. I came home and had a cauliflower cheese meal, then curled up on the sofa and watched part 1 of His Dark Materials on iPlayer. Slept well.

Thursday - and I woke to rain. But got up and did my stretches, then went for a run. I slipped over on the wet leaves and grazed both my knees (thankfully my legging protected my knees from dirt getting into the wound), and bashed my elbow - which has had a liberal application of Arnica cream. I think it'll stiffen up as the day goes on. I am grateful not to have broken or twisted anything. It shook me up a bit - as tumbles always do!

I have a nice shift today - it's 1:1 with a woman who I support to go to the gym, have lunch, do some shopping etc. It's still quite challenging emotionally, but the rhythm of the day is OK for me as there are a variety of things to do, we keep moving, but I only have to concentrate on one thing at a time - which is a treat!

This evening I am going with the recorder group to St Buryan church to practice playing carols with the choir. I have a lift arranged - it should be fun.

That shift didn't sound very comfortable at all. There is nothing worse then having to be in wet cloths during a work shift with no way to dry off.

I'm glad you spent time with GH yesterday. I'm glad the palliative care team got there and are making a difference. They are amazing people.

Wednesday

It was really good to go and visit GH. Her husband didn't want anyone to see him except his sons and wife. But GH and I had an hour and a half together, chanted, talked, had lunch with her in the little cafe. There was a good outcome from our chanting; he got moved to a private room, and in the evening I had a text to say that they were moving him to the hospice the same evening, prior to him going home. This was an amazing outcome because when I arrived at midday, they were saying that he might not see the palliative care team until tomorrow.

Anyway, enough of that.

I did my not very enjoyable shift at work - it's physically uncomfortable because we got wet walking in the rain, and then had to play pool in an unheated garage for 2 and a half hours. I felt lousy.

However, I warmed myself up when I got home and slept OK.

Off to work again now. Buddhist meeting this evening.

I'm very sorry to hear GH's partner is in the hospital. Being there will do both a world of good. It's GH who might benefit the most.

Tuesday

I was up and out for a run this morning. Three layers needed today, and two on my head! It's not icy here, but a very cold wind.

I'm heading over to Truro to give my buddy a hug and do some chanting with her at the hospital. She has the children there too and I didn't want to intrude, but she replied "Please come x" So I'm going. It's 2 hrs each way on the bus. I'm taking my packed lunch and a coffee.

Sigh.

Work later - not my favourite shift, but I'll cope!

Monday

I slept pretty well at work last night. The sun is shining, and I'm here indoors - I really 'should' get out there!

I've been very hesitant about getting my bicycle out ...... it's like I don't know where to go on it. I don't feel confident on the main roads yet - but I won't get confident unless I do it. I need a plan of action!

I'm always a bit tired after a sleep-in. I have a recorder lesson today. I'm going to a talk this evening about marine conservation/coastline etc.

I have to do my menu-planning and check my finances.

My friend GH is at the county hospital with her partner (now husband - because they got married a couple of weeks' ago) who is too poorly to have the radiotherapy that was planned for a tumour on his lung. It doesn't sound good. I can't get there and back today, but have said I can be there tomorrow morning - I'm on stand-by. Very sad. Another friend died two weeks' ago (cancer).

Sunday

Gosh, I really didn't feel like doing anything when I woke up this morning. I think it's because I had an extra hour of sleep which was filled with unsettling dreams!

But I got up and had a coffee, and read a-while, then went out for my 10 k run - a local route that I've done before. I felt better as soon as I got outdoors. 10.6 km run/walked (to keep my heart rate in Zones 2/3).

The rest of the day has gone well. A lovely tofu scramble for breakfast after my run. And I've wrapped a Xmas present, made a Xmas card. Done my ironing.

Made a rice salad to take to work tonight, and an overnight oats type thing for breakfast at work in the morning.

All is well.

Thanks. I had some feedback from another runner today, showing that the flood-water was almost knee-deep in places, and that he nearly slipped off the cliff. So I've decided not to go and do that particular race, but I will go and run 10k from home tomorrow morning.

Good luck on your 10k run!

Saturday

and I don't know why, but I tossed and turned somewhat last night.

I woke, 28 mins after my alarm should have woken me, thanks to a chime on my Fabulous app which was reminding me to drink my water!

I got up and went through my habit routine - amazing! Mind weeds have been removed and I'm on track.

Work early today - but I finish mid-afternoon. I have to prepare myself for getting to the 10k run tomorrow. I had an email to say it's VERY MUDDY.

Yes, she certainly is!

I bought some black spray paint (for outdoor metal/wood work) and made my old music stand look black at least! It's inspired me to get some good sandpaper and give it a proper rub down, and re-spray. It's become a bit of challenge now - to keep it going and not buy a new one!

The music festival was really nerve-wracking. I made a mistake in the piece - I came in a bar too early at one point. I realised instantly, and stopped the note, but I felt awful about it. However, we got good feedback and points for our playing overall.

I went off for a 'nice' coffee at Costa afterwards (flat white with coconut milk) - and a packet of plain crisps: I avoided the flavoured ones, and all the sweet stuff, so although it was a little 'emotional eating snack' it was the least chemically upsetting.

This evening I'm just chilling out by wrapping a couple of Xmas presents and watching something on iPlayer.

Mel Robins is cheering you on! Well done!

Friday

And the time is slipping by fast today already! I woke up around 7 am and did battle with the 'mind weeds' which were arguing against me going out for a run. But I did it!

I've got to get into town and do grocery shopping, and buy some paint to make my music stand look smarter - it's rusted.

I've got to cook myself my planned healthy meal for lunch, then get the bus to Camborne (50 mins bus ride) to play recorder with the group at a music festival.

So - keep moving Gill!

We had a lovely lunch - it was a butter bean stew with feta, with granary bread. I also enjoyed a warm, spiced apple juice with rum in it!

The film was very gripping - but one to be 'enjoyed' - a very harrowing topic about zero hour contracts and the way it can devastate whole families. Very harrowing.

We missed the bus back by about 5 mins, so walked in the wild wind - it was good to walk.

The wind is very strong, every now and then there are bangs which sound like the wind slamming against the building. I am a bit dubious about going out to recorder group - but as sticking to my plans has felt so good, I'm going to stick to my plan!




Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 11/15/2019 (04:30)

You have a full schedule. Many things to exercise the brain included. Enjoy the cinema.

I got everything done yesterday - which felt great. But I was tired after about 8 pm at work and glad to get home to bed!

Thursday

A day off - I didn't set my alarm, and woke up at 6.17 am. I took a coffee to the front door-step. I put a cosy cushion on the hard wooden door-frame, and a blanket around me. It was cold, and quiet, and it felt good to do that. Sadly there are security lights on all the time, so not completely dark. But that's OK too - I've kind of got used to them.

I have a day off today - a haircut this morning, then meeting my friend JM for lunch and a film at the cinema ("Sorry we missed you" directed by Ken Loach). We've opted to get the bus instead of walking because the weather is wet, cold, and there are strong winds forecast for midday.

This evening I'm going to recorder group (again) to practise the pieces we'll be playing in a competition on Saturday, and for a Xmas concert in December.

I did my Cornish homework AND did a small puzzle. I lit a candle and listened to some 'campfire' sounds on my phone - making it a cosy evening.

Wednesday

It took me ages to get to sleep properly last night - I had a hot water bottle, but kept waking up feeling cold. It must have been colder than usual last night.

I was up at 5.30 am and did my sun salutations and hip mobilization routine, then went for a 30 min run (posted on the running thread).

I had a lovely apple and raspberry crisp for breakfast - it's a new recipe I've discovered, which is delicious. It's just thinly sliced eating apples, a few raspberries, topped with a 'crumble' made with coconut oil, ground almonds, cinnamon, vanilla, xylitol - I added some hemp seeds. Served with no-sugar coconut yoghurt. It feels really decadent!

Today I'm not working until 3.30 pm, so I have a busy day, productive, day planned. I am walking a couple of miles out of town to deliver the medication orders for work, then going to the Morrab library to do some shredding. Then come home and have lunch, then go to recorder group. Then go to work.

That should make for a very fulfilling day.

Yes, tomorrow evening I'll be working.

This evening, I have some recorder practice to do; Cornish homework to look at; maybe do a puzzle.

You have the mornings down. That's a good start.

Tuesday

I am up and ready for work again this morning - 7.30 am start.

Lunch is packed.

I have got into a good routine of getting up at 5.30 am and doing my exercises etc. It's working well.

I'm finding it hard to use my evenings well sometimes. This is something I need to address.

That’s a hard situation. You handled it well. Not surprised it left you worn out. Split shifts are so hard. Hope you can catch up with rest before whatever sickness that’s going around catches you.

Monday

And I can hear the wind howling outside in the dark! Well, it is November!

So - yes, I woke up hungry after all the sugar yesterday. I've done my exercises, taken my vitamins, am ready for work. I only have a 5 hr shift today, so am planning a run this afternoon.

The days are slipping by so fast. I'm thinking about buying and wrapping Xmas presents - getting it done!

Well, today really didn't pan out as I'd expected. I went into work to cover a shortish shift, then had a call to say the waking night person was not well enough to come to work, so I had to find someone to cover that shift, then find a way to cover HIS shifts this evening and tomorrow. Then another colleague phoned to say he wouldn't be in on Monday or Tuesday, so had to find cover for those two shifts. All in all, I ended up working from 8-15.00, then coming home for an hour's break, and going back from 16.30-19.00. Tomorrow I'll be in again at 7.30. I'm tired. I also ate too much sugar today. It was stressful.

Now I'm only fit for bed. Nothing else has got done today except a bit of reading during my hour's break.

Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 11/11/2019 (01:57)

Some dreams are a lot of work. 😂
Enjoy your day.

Sunday

I felt like I didn't sleep very deeply, but I think I did - I must have been dreaming I was awake!


I'm off to work 8am-3pm today (which is kind of half of the shift that needed covering due to a colleague being off sick - someone else is coming in at 3pm to do the last half)

All is well.

Saturday

Parkrun was great - see the running thread for more about that.

I had a good day today - parkrun, shopping, lunch, then over to St Ives to see CB. A nice day.

It sounds like a nice start to a workday. I hope the rest of your day goes as well. Have a nice parkrun tomorrow.

The tooth problem seems to be getting better, not worse, so hopefully it's just a temporary infection.

Friday

And I pressed 'snooze' for 10 mins this morning, but listened to some uplifting ambience music for 10 mins which helped me not fall back to sleep!

I've done my sun salutations, hip mobilizers, arm ST - all good.

I've enjoyed a lovely tasty tofu scramble for breakfast - as I'm not starting until 8am today, I just have enough time to eat breakfast at home. I put some chopped green olives, red pepper, flat parsley in it - it was lovely (also had the usual turmeric, garlic, nooch)

Nothing else I have to think about today - just get through the work day. I'm going to chill out with a book or film this evening, and get my kit ready for parkrun on Saturday morning. I've not been to parkrun for ages - I'm looking forward to it.

-- Or, you can get in to see the dentist again.

That is lovely news that you can get up to see the family for a weekend. What luck it sort of fell together like that.