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GRAMSROC Posts: 958
8/23/11 6:11 P

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So glad you made it through that bad spot.

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8/19/11 8:51 P

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Thankfully, that miserable day is behind me. I really lost it. A couple of friends came over for moral support and helped me to let it all out. The quitting was only part of it. There are a lot of negative things happening in my life right now and I suppose it had to blow at some point. It ended up being quite cathartic and I woke up the next day feeling much more positive than I have in a long time.

I guess temper tantrums are not always such a bad thing emoticon

I'm so glad you're all here! Thank-you!

GRAMSROC Posts: 958
8/19/11 6:43 P

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How well I remember those feelings! I got so bad with my physical symptoms that I actually went to the doctor thinking this couldn't all be caused by JUST Quitting, but it was. But don't dismiss it too lightly as you are actually going through some pretty strong physical changes.

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CD5130621 Posts: 3,056
8/16/11 10:30 P

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I'm glad you let it out here and it is ok.

How you are feeling, in part is the nicotine withdrawl. It can be pretty powerful stuff.

It is waging a battle with you. It happens.

Look forward to a time where this will all be behind you and you have won the war.

Irene emoticon

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8/16/11 1:56 P

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Hi Irene,

Today is a really, really bad day. Woke up after only a few hours sleep. Tried everything I know to help me sleep and finally got back to it for only another couple of hours. I hurt everywhere, both muscles and joints. And it's not the good type of hurt after hard work. It's flu-like. I'm not sick, but from what I've read, this is what detox feels like. I'd never been through it before, even when I had managed to quit for a couple of months.

To me, whining is worse than fingernails on a chalkboard. But that's all I want to do today. And eat. I want all the things I shouldn't have. Only a few minutes walk and I could be at McDonalds, KFC, or Taco Bell. It's been years since I've eaten any of their food and it's all I can think of today. I'm craving fatty, salt-laden, poisonous foods. I went for a walk early this morning, in the opposite direction: only houses, a bit of forest and the river. Usually a calming experience. Went I got back, I could see the restaurant signs in the distance and knew that the tobacconist was just as close. It took everything I had to just go straight home.

For the first time ever, I have arthritis-type pain in my fingers and shoulders. I've had arthritis in the knees for a number of years, but never anywhere else. I'm an emotional mess. I'm feeling so angry that if anyone was here with me now, I'd pick a fight with them just for the sake of it. I'm feeling sorry for myself (which is not like me at all). I want to rant, rave, scream and cry. I'm so irritable that I could jump out of my skin.

....

Phew! Bet you didn't realize what torrent you'd be unleashing by checking up on me. I'm so sorry. Reading back on what I've written makes me realize how ridiculous this all is. I'm just allowing my emotions to explode unchecked. Maybe necessary for me today, but truly not something anyone else should have to endure. This will pass, hopefully by the time I wake up from a nap (I usually have good dreams when I sleep during the day). If not, I have a friend who is not afraid of my red-head temper and who should be finished with his workday by then. He knows me well enough that he'll occasionally goad me into a heated argument just because he knows I need that release.

Thank-you so much for being there!
D.

CD5130621 Posts: 3,056
8/16/11 11:54 A

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How's the cleaning project coming but more importantly how are you? Hang in there, you will be so glad that you are doing the best thing you could ever do for yourself.

Irene



Edited by: CD5130621 at: 8/16/2011 (11:54)
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8/15/11 2:39 P

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Love the support! Thank-you, it means so much!!

Day 2 and all OK so far. I've been keeping really busy washing all the stink out of the apartment. Still have quite a ways to go. I'm exhausted and I ache in muscles that I didn't even know existed! But I feel great!

I'm really surprised, but I haven't had a single craving so far. I've already noticed that I can breathe deeper. And I have no bronchitis symptoms at all.

I've tried quitting with the patch before, but it didn't do anything to ease the emotional side of smoking. The heavy housework seems to be helping me a lot this time around. At the very least, it smells better in here. emoticon

I wonder how many calories I'm burning as I scrub my carpets the old-fashioned way (by hand, on my knees).

GRAMSROC Posts: 958
8/15/11 2:07 P

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Like you, I prepared myself for the quit. One of my smoking triggers was in the car, so I quit smoking in the car. Then no smoking in the house, finally no smoking at all, The most difficult was smoking after a meal, it just finished off the meal. But tho' it took a while I finally got rid of the tobacco demon. NOPE for more than 2 and half years.

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CD5130621 Posts: 3,056
8/14/11 12:47 P

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D........You sound pretty good and so optimistic. I think that is wonderful. Hang in there dear Sparkette.

By the way, I am also a Canadian.

Irene

Edited by: CD5130621 at: 8/14/2011 (12:51)
MARVEEME's Photo MARVEEME Posts: 6,055
8/13/11 7:36 P

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Re-set as needed, but never stop trying. Change is good. Is it possible to move a few things around (like your computer) to give even a slightly different out-of-the-ordinary spin on daily life to confirm how change IS good?

My house has been re-painted, there is no smoking inside any more, and the one remaining ashtray allowed is in the garage. Every single little brick carefully placed will build that beautiful brick house....as quickly or as slowly as you choose.

Prayers and blessings!

"A dead thing goes with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it."

"You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion."

G K Chesterton


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8/13/11 5:31 P

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Break time. The day's not over yet and I'm exhausted. I've stuck to my smoking schedule so I'll only smoke 1 pack today, and not two. I've also checked all other places I may have left cigs and found none. I've finished washing the ceilings and walls of 2 rooms (albeit the smallest ones) and EEEWWWWW, the stuff that came off! I had to empty the bucket so many times!!!! Telling you, seeing that helps! I've been smoking only on the balcony, so the rooms are staying fresh.

Just want to thank everyone who's responded. It's really helpful to have your encouragement. It also keeps me to my word. It's so easy to break a promise if it's only to yourself, but when you make it public, that's a different story.

Now on to the carpets in those rooms...

CD5130621 Posts: 3,056
8/13/11 5:17 P

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Hi D Temptation at it's best was in your path when you found those smokes. It's hard to see past those things starring you in the face when your yet so vulnerable toward you.

Stay busy, stay on the path. You will love being a non-smoker. You will say to yourself....why didn't I do this sooner. At least that is my experience.

Here for you.

Irene

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8/13/11 2:00 P

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Hi Irene,

Thanks for asking. Day 1 is already a failure.

Let me begin by saying that I was brought up with all 4 grandparents and both parents teaching me never to throw anything away that might still be used. Either use it, fix it, or give it to someone who can use it or fix it. Well, I found one more pack at the bottom of my purse. I sat and stared at it for quite a while, trying to convince myself that this is the one thing that can really go straight into the garbage without regret. I even took one cigarette and crushed it up into the garbage. But I finally succumbed to smoking again.

As of yesterday, I smoked almost 2 packs a day. I've timed this one last pack to last me 'till I go to sleep tonight. Tomorrow is my new day one. I had already planned to wash my apartment from ceilings to floors and everything in between. That should keep me busy for quite a number of days. Then I'm going to paint the whole place. All this without help, so it should take quite a long time. I've begun the washing today. I'm trying to stay away from the computer except for short breaks, because that's where I smoke the most. And I want to exhaust myself so I sleep better tonight. Couldn't fall asleep last night until just about dawn.

I'm not giving up, just recalculating by a day.

D.


CD5130621 Posts: 3,056
8/13/11 1:18 P

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Hi D, how are you doing?

Irene

MARVEEME's Photo MARVEEME Posts: 6,055
8/12/11 9:28 P

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Every second that you do not give in leads to a minute, hour, day, week, month, year, lifetime.

No matter how many times you have to try, keep trying until you conquer the cancer sticks.

Remember the feeling on the way into the ER.....is that coffin nail worth it?

My prayers are with you for a successful and painless quit, and a clean house and clothes.

There are some great ideas on my blogs:
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
ur
nal_individual.asp?blog_id=4207819

and
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
ur
nal_individual.asp?blog_id=4211057


Blessings!

"A dead thing goes with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it."

"You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion."

G K Chesterton


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GRAMSROC Posts: 958
8/12/11 7:01 P

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Take it one minute at a time, then one hour at a time, soon it will be one day at a time, these will add up to one week at a time, you will love it when you are counting one month, then two months and so on. Counting this way has added up to more than two and a half years for me now. I really doubted I could do it because I had depended on the cancer sticks to help me relax and take a break for years. I did it so can you!

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CD5130621 Posts: 3,056
8/12/11 2:59 P

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Wow! That is some very serious stuff you have going on. This is your wake up call. Keep plugging away at it and you can over-come this deadly habitual health hazard

I am sending good and healthy wishes out to you.

Please take care of yourself.

Irene


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8/12/11 2:34 P

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Hi, my friends call me "D".

This will be the 8th time I'm trying to quit. The longest I've ever gone without a smoke was 2 months. That was a number of years ago.

A few nights ago, I called 911 thinking I was having a heart attack. The pain in my jaw and chest was unbearable. Turned out to be acute bronchitis. The doctor also mentioned COPD and I found out how dangerously high my bp is. Now I'm on a series of meds that I rather not be taking. I've heard of the pain associated with cancer and now I have tangible evidence of it and am, for the first time, truly afraid of it.

So tomorrow is my QUIT DAY. Since I got home from the hospital I've done a number of things to prepare. I stocked my fridge with non-fattening munchies, got a bag of cinnamon sticks to keep by my computer (where I smoke the most), joined a couple of online groups, got nicotine patches and gum (pharmacist OK'd these with my meds).

I plan to keep very busy over the next number of days by washing my home from ceilings to floors, including all the furniture and linens. I want the smell of years of smoke to be GONE!! Soon after, I'll be painting the whole place.

To all of you who have successfully quit, I not only congratulate you, but I want to be just like you. To all of you who are just starting, or have yet to start, know that WE CAN DO IT!!!

I look forward to joining the ranks of smoke-free individuals.

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