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PLATINUM755's Photo PLATINUM755 SparkPoints: (629,987)
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10/6/19 3:57 P

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Hi emoticon SIMPLYME_LORI and emoticon to SparkPeople and the team...Nice to have you with us on the journey to a healthier lifestyle. emoticon

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.

Mistakes are the portals of discovery.

Don't be afraid to give your best at what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.

It is never too late to be what you might have been.

 current weight: 138.0 
1DAY-ATA-TIME's Photo 1DAY-ATA-TIME Posts: 36,136
9/6/19 5:13 A

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Hello Lori and welcome to the team. I'm so sorry for your struggles. This is a great team and a good place. wishing you the best

Ron G.

“Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others.” Booker T. Washington
-DEIRDRE-'s Photo -DEIRDRE- Posts: 31,814
9/4/19 1:05 P

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emoticon to the team Lori! Sorry you are having such difficulties. I agree that you need new subscribers. You need people or your team who will listen.

Smoke-free since 1993
Alcohol-free since 1997

 August Minutes: 765
CAROLJEAN64's Photo CAROLJEAN64 Posts: 13,535
9/4/19 9:54 A

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Lori, your post touches my heart and soul. First click on this link and find the hotline in your state. Put that number on your phone and use it. We want you here to find your way out of that pit we call depression. Please consider finding new health care professionals, you deserve to be listened to and heard.
Family estrangement can be devastating. I wish I could wave a magic wand for you and all would be well. We both know that isn’t happening, but it sounds as if you do have a daughter you can depend on. As difficult as this sounds , at the end of each day, write down three things you are grateful for. It can be as simple as smiling once, taking a deep breath and seeing something lovely.
Please keep in touch. Everyone on this team knows the way depression makes you feel and we empathize with you. emoticon

Edited by: CAROLJEAN64 at: 9/4/2019 (09:55)
Lost 65 lbs and maintained since 2006.

 current weight: 19.4  over
9/4/19 3:11 A

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Hi everyone. I'm Lori. I'm 54 years old, and I have severe depression and severe anxiety.

Three years ago, two of my daughters stopped talking to me. Then just in June, another one abandoned me.

I've been suicidal in the past. Sliced my arms with a knife when the love of my life passed away in a car accident and then two weeks later, I miscarried our child.

I have six children and two grandchildren.

One of my grandchildren I've never met. This is Lillian. She was born July 5, 2018, the same day that I found out that I have a brain tumor. (meningioma)

The one grandchild was by me until he turned 4, then his mom and dad up and left in the middle of the night, not letting me and his aunts say goodbye. He's 7 now.

This is my grandson Blayne:

I don't get to see pictures of him or pictures of my granddaughter unless my almost 16-year-old daughters shows me the pictures. And even then it hurts like crazy. I've cried and cried...The only thing keeping me alive right now is my almost 16-year-old daughter.

I've tried to get my therapist and my doctor to help me get an emotional support animal because of my mental illness but they don't believe that I'm "disabled" enough to get a dog.

I currently have a cat who is 14 years old. We've had him for 13 years.

He does support me emotionally, but a dog would help more with being out in public when I'm having a panic attack or just feeling not myself.

I am just so sick and tired of people not believing how "sick" I am.

I am so close to the end of my rope.

I'm on three different medications for my mental illness. THREE! And none of them are working, but my doctor doesn't seem to care, NOR my therapist.

I can honestly understand those who have committed suicide why they did it. The pain is so unbearable. They don't want to die, they just want the pain to end.

'Thanks for reading... emoticon

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