COACHING CORNER: come here for problem solving

Gail, I missed your update two weeks ago,
congrats to your success!

Update 7 months later. Doing much better. Between Beck and Intermittent Fasting, I no longer snack at night. I eat between 12 noon and 8 pm and am satisfied. Often don't eat all the food planned, and am losing 2-3 lbs. each month. Exercising more, and keeping my hands busy making Christmas crafts. Actively planning how to stay on track over the holidays by not baking as much and not buying any candy.

Thank you, Kriszta. Today has been better; I'm focusing on staying out of the kitchen at night, and keeping busy so that I don't think about food at night. As long as I do not go downstairs when I have trouble sleeping, I do well. When I do go down, though, I am not conscious of thinking about food. instead it is as if the decision has been made, and I get something to eat. Old habits are very hard to break, but I am working hard on it.

Hi Gail, this is a tough one - maybe applying the Seven Question Technique could help you find out (and chapter Solving Problems too).

Yes, lack of good sleep may be one reason, also the worries about health issues in your family, these may be reasons why you believe this thought (which is, of course, not true, because you deserve to live at a healthy weight, and also you are doing your nest!).

You may need time to get used to the New You, thanks to your weight loss success I'm sure you are feeling differently, both physically (strength, balance, ease) and emotionally (seeing yourself in the mirror, cute clothes). If so, slowing down your weight loss or maintaining for a few weeks may help. Adding 1-200 planned calories of healthy and delicious food is better than struggling with cravings.

It could be that you are doing it too hard - but you shared you are rarely hungry and you enjoy your level of exercise, so it is not very likely.
Or maybe you are bored, and doing it for the rest of your life sounds burdensome...

Either way, it is better to make a conscious decision about your center weight and speed of weight loss (if any) than to battle sabotaging thoughts.
I hope you will find a good solution that brings you peace and joy.

How do you combat self-sabotaging behaviour? I have a point (between 160 and 165 lbs.) where I always start self-sabotaging. Several articles I've read suggest that people self-sabotage because they don't believe they deserve to reach their goal... this can happen when dieting, or in many other parts of your life.

If you find yourself slipping into self-sabotaging behaviour, how do you turn it around. I know that lack of restful sleep is one factor with me, and since we have just started minding our granddaughter again 3 days each week (her mother was out of work for 4 months), I am not sleeping well.

Thanks,
Gail


Edited by: MARITIMER3 at: 4/30/2019 (18:23)

Gail, you're not alone. A close friend of mine who was my diet coach at first reading now tells me that what I'm doing is a complete BS. She found meditation and it helped her with her diet and other life struggles. All I could tell her in response was: there's more than one right way to live; what works for you may not work for me and vise versa. We tend to agree to disagree on many things :)

So find what works for you and what helps you progress/grow and your true friends will respect your decisions.

Hi Gail,
yes people used to tell me things like that, before they got used to my new way of eating.
In my case, I think they said this because my way of eating and thinking about food would be very hard and stressful for them, they would feel deprived and bored.
So it is logical for them to come to the conclusion that it is hard and stressful to me - which is not the case.
I found it is no use to try to explain what I'm doing and why, or convince them what I do is right for me - because then I would have to teach them BDS ; ) ... and I don't have the time and they are not interested.
I am not struggling, because I'm not forcing myself by willpower, instead I learned ways that make dieting easier, and now it is easier than ever before.

So, I completely agree with your response!
It is enough reassure friends that you are feeling well, enjoying what you are doing and eating. Over time, they will notice that you are not stressed or depriving yourself.

Edited by: KRISZTA11 at: 4/9/2019 (03:14)

Gail, give yourself credit for tracking! It's good to have friends doing IF. It's still a new way of eating. I can talk DH and one friend.

I'm wondering if any of you have had friends say that you're "working too hard", or "trying too hard", and if so, how you handled it.

Two of my very close friends (who are both using Intermittent Fasting) say that I need to relax... stop tracking everything... just follow the IF and not worry about the rest.

Obviously I disagree, but I value their friendship, so my reply was that yes, I'm working hard, but I'm having fun because I enjoy working with numbers and statistics, I'm learning more about why I overate for years, I'm losing weight, sleeping better and have more energy.

I'm going to keep doing exactly what I've been doing for a month now... BECK and IF, because it works for me, but if anyone has suggestions for ways to handle doubting friends (who are sincerely concerned and want what's best for me), I'd appreciate your comments.

Thanks,
Gail

I think you handled the change in plans very smartly, Gail.
I agree with Olia, if there is a change, it is the best to revise plans, and then stick to the new plan.
Compare that with all or nothing thinking like "I can't follow my perfectly, so I might as well go without a plan and make decisions on the go"... so much better!

Gail, I think you did great modifying your schedule! one technique that I find very helpful is to "Adjust and recommit to my plans" early mid morning. This helps me to stay in control and better deal with unforeseen changes the day of.

Today I had to learn to be flexible. Mid-afternoon I was asked to attend a meeting at Town Hall in our priest's place. The meeting was to review a 5-year economic development plan which ended in 2018, and to make recommendations on where to go from here.

This threw my plans for exercise and eating into chaos. The meeting was from 6-8, and I had to leave home at 5:30. Peter agreed to eat after I got home, so I ate a KIND bar and a hard-boiled egg before I went out. Remember, I eat all my food between 12 noon and 8 pm. Because we were out in the morning and then Siobhan dropped off Aria, I didn't get to eat lunch until 1, which gave me until 9 to have dinner.

There were refreshments at the meeting. I had some raw baby carrots and grapes.

The meeting was excellent, and I was glad to be there. It was going to run over until about 8:30, but I left at 8 so that I could get dinner ready. I cooked salmon, cauliflower and asparagus, and had my yogurt, bran buds and a cut up banana for dessert.

I will take today as my rest day from exercise, because I do not want to start now.

I think that considering the changes I had to make from my plan, I did okay. I did not go over on calories, carbs, lean protein, healthy fats, fiber, or salt.

Comments appreciated.

Gail

Olia, you made great observations during the hunger monitoring experiment!
When you are in very good compliance with your eating plan, serving exactly the right amounts at each meal, it is logical to eat all the food on your plan - and still lose weight consistently.

And lots of credit to you for leaving food on your plate - I'm born and raised as a plate cleaner, and I don't think I ever left food on my plate (or skipped a meal or snack) ever before reading BDS... so I fully understand it felt weird!
I still feel strong aversion against throwing out food.
I do my best to avoid it, but now I know better ways than just eating it all.
When I serve my food, I measure and serve the exact amount on my plan - no more decisions : )
When others serve and the portion is too large, I save it for another day.

Krizsta, this was actually the first time in long long time I left the food on the plate. That day I was monitoring my hunger and was uber conscientious of how full/empty my stomach felt throughout the day. If I recall correctly, first time I ate my breakfast leftovers almost 2 hrs after I finished it, because I genuinely felt hungry (tested with water, brushing teeth). But I polished off my lunch leftovers because I was worried I would get too hungry for dinner that was about 3 hrs away. I'll keep paying attention to my thoughts to understand why I'm finishing my unfinished food.

I know it may sound ridiculous/silly/odd to some people here, but to me leaving food on a plate when I'm full and without any sense of guilt is such a new concept. I hardly know how to deal with this! Good thing I have your support here!!! :)

@MARITIMER3

yes, the Foundation Strategies checklist is from Beck Blue, it builds on what we learn in Beck Pink, but it is organized differently.

This is what I wrote about this strategy in the last blue book reading:
#10: Created or reviewed my Worth It Memories - also new, and I love this one!
Just as the advantages list brings future happiness into the present,
the Worth It Memories remind us of happiness we achieved in the past by practicing Beck skills and eating well. So, we summon energy and motivation from past and future into the present, the only time we can take action and make healthy choices.
I started to collect mine during the Beck Blue Summer Reading Challenge Trina lead, and I already have 6 : )
3 of them about eating well at a celebration and feeling strong, proud and energetic, also free from cravings, food coma, bloating and regrets.
2 are about fitting (flour and sugar free) sweets into my food plan in a healthful way and feeling great about it
The most powerful one is from 2015 when I had the toughest 6 work weeks in a row ever with a lot of travel and stress, but I found peace and calm in sticking to my food-exercise-sleep plan and put everything else on the back burner.

Here is the link to that message board, in case you are interested.
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/
team_messa
geboard_thread.asp?board=286
9x1007
1x63332694

I created an excel checklist for the Beck PInk to do list,
if you would like to have it, please send me your email address via Spark Mail privately, and I'll email it to you. (can't attach files to SPark Mail)

Edited by: KRISZTA11 at: 3/30/2019 (06:04)

@OLIA_NA
Olia, sorry I missed your question!

I think in general it is OK to finish your planned meal later, even if you are not hungry.
I imagine you don't finish the meal because you are full,
and later you feel like eating it before your next planned meal, right?
It may be interesting what crosses your mind when you decide to eat the leftovers after all?

I've printed off the "Foundation Strategies Checklist" and committed to using it weekly.

I don't understand #10 - Created or reviewed my "worth-it memories". I can't find it in the Pink book... is it something from the blue book?

Thanks,
Gail

Ok, I have an odd question: Am I deluding myself when I don't finish a planned meal and then eat those leftovers later, even if I'm not hungry?

Hi Linda and Olia,
don't worry about falling behind a few days, or several days!
Group readings always start with everyone posting punctually for a few days, but life happens, and later posts spread out over several days. That is to be expected and not a problem at all.

Take your time, it is better to spend additional time on each Day of the program than rushing through it. Olia's is another great solution, proceeding with the group and giving more attention to some skills in the weekend.


I like this "one day at a time" schedule because it is easy to remember, 11th March is Day 11... and I hope the separate message boards for each day help to connect with others, when you read the posts before you... and there will be many more readers in the future, who will find your posts helpful.


Edited by: KRISZTA11 at: 3/11/2019 (09:15)

I'm a bit worried about this weekend. Have a lot of work to catch up on in addition to my usual weekend routines of exercise, pampering, meal prep. and active rest... Not sure how to balance things on days like these. I don't want to sacrifice my personal priorities, but at the same time I'm being realistic and know there's not enough time in the day for me to do all this.

@ICANINSIGHT, group reading feels a bit overwhelming to me at times too. Sometime I want to repeat a day from the book for the whole week to really get and ingrain a new skill. But I also want to keep up with the group reading. So for things that I want to practice more I will write in a journal and then come back to it when I have more time (usually on weekends) and see what/how I can slowly add/change/integrate into my day. That way I don't feel overwhelmed at the moment, because I know I will have an ability to give my undivided attention and take time to problem solve at a later time.

Edited by: OLIA_NA at: 3/9/2019 (10:58)

I am trying to keep up, but this is going too fast for me. I am keeping everything in mind so far, however.

... and a good preparation for transitioning to maintenance!

So true Kriszta! I already hear little homunculus chatting me up about extra food esp after a stressful day. My goal is to stay at this new weight for 2-3 weeks and then move on to the next 5 lb.

Congrats to losing 5 pounds, Olia, what you are doing is clearly working!


If you feel this is too fast, because there is not enough time to get used to changes, or because food doesn't feel enough, you can slow down by adding 1-200 planned calories of healthy food per day. Or if exercise feels too much, you may decrease 15-20 minutes per day.
This way you avoid sabotaging thoughts like "oh I'm losing weigh too quickly, it is OK to eat this unplanned food" and unplanned food is usually not 1-200 calories but many more!

So I've lost my first 5 lb! Woohoo!
In the past it felt like I was losing weight way too fast. And I'm getting the same feeling again.

Should I set a goal to stay at current weight for a couple of weeks to get used to the new weight and eating less? Or should I keep going? In the long run I want to shed at least 50 lb, so 45 to go. Or maybe lose 10 more and then stay at that weight for a while?

Thanks in advance for all the advise!

Thanks @OHMEMEME! When I read it now it all makes perfect sense. But at the moment of trouble my rational thinking goes out the window. But I'll keep trying and reminding myself why I want to lose weight so maybe one day rational thinking doesn't flee :)

Thought of you today as I checked the Beck website and today’s helpful reminder tip was about stress eating. Check it out maybe?!?! We all go through it and learn to deal in better ways. ;)

@OHMEMEME and @KRISZTA11 -- thank you for your advice! Really helps me put things in perspective and get out of my personal "be perfect or do nothing" tunnel. I'm trying to read my Advantages, Stick to the Plan, and It All Matters cards in the car before I head home in the evening. This seems to calm me down emotionally a bit. I'll keep chipping away at it!

@BEATLETOT -- I tried your tactic today. Was really craving a beer after a stressful day at work, but instead I just added it to my dinner for tomorrow. Amazingly, doing so gave me a sense of satisfaction and reduced emotional tension.

In regards to sticking to plan under stress... I agree with Krista about considering some of your favs of appropriate foods...comfort food. No, not a the thing to do to satisfy emotional needs but we are human and I believe that comfort food is okay when done right. I think of hot satiating things like hot or creamy soups (creamed cauliflower or adding 1 oz cream cheese and broth to any veg purée) hot baked potato (white or sweet), and fattier protein choice like chicken leg qrt vs breast or hearty 6oz steak or pork chop or even ribs (I do eat ribs occasionally and still lose weight). Best bet is plan and be prepared emotionally and in a physical sense. Not sure where you are on your journey, but you can find something that works on your plan. And when not, eat what is there but make sure to add healthier choices like a salad and fruit to your meal. Be gentle and kind to yourself. Get some rest and rethink things. Soon many of the Beckniques will come naturally. Until then, keep rereading and work through it. But again, if time is not permitting, be kind and patient. Best wishes and keep Sparking! You’ve come to the right place in your time of need!

@OLIA_NA I hear you, being tired from long hours + stress + feelings of unfairness and a dinner which is just not as comforting as you wished... that's a high risk situation for emotional eating and cravings. Evening by itself is the highest risk part of the days, because we have limited amount of willpower, and it is likely to run out by the end of a long working day.

As first aid, I would suggest to look into your heart when you are planning the dinner for such a hard day, and plan something you really really like.
Chances are, no food can provide the level of comfort you need but do your best!


There are many chapters in the pink book that help master such situations, one step at a time : )
D8 Create Time and Energy, D13Overcome Cravings, D23 Counter the Unfairness Syndrome... and many more!

@BEATLETOT I like your cravings tactic. I'm going to try to implement it this week.

For the past week or so I've been struggling sticking to my plan. I've been stressed and overworked, so when I get home very late at night I have an overwhelming sense of unfairness: I had no time to myself today and on top of it I can't eat what I want. Worse yet, my unplanned food is often the same or less calories than what I planned for the dinner, so my internal logic is doing an exceptional job at justifying this.

I do this with my craves. I just put it on my plan for the following day.

Now I can't remember the situation I was actually in when I asked it, but I will kind of think this over.

@WHITE-GREEN I just read your blog, and I think you made great positive thinking regarding eating and regarding family too. Going to bed instead of overeating is good, will make you feel so much better.
If I'm emotionally upset and at risk of overeating, I go to bed at 9 pm... and it feels so safe and calming.

"during that diet it was easier for me to stay on track and avoid bingeing"- that's a brilliant observation!
It is a common assumption that following a diet is hard, but I often find "following a rule eliminates struggle", as dr Beck wrote.

@BEATLETOT sorry I missed our post and didn't respond!
That's a tricky situation when you make a good plan... and then there are surprises you hadn't thought of.
In such situations I aim to follow my original plan, or at least stay as close as possible.
I would admit yes I forgot X... but that is not a reason to eat it. If it is about to go spoil, I can freeze it, and it is not a catastrophe if I throw it out, because I very rarely waste food. If it can be preserved, I would out it on my plan for tomorrow. This way I can enjoy it (even if a little later) without inducing more sabotaging thoughts and a chain of overeating and struggling.
Of course I don't always succeed, but often I do : )

Edited by: KRISZTA11 at: 1/5/2019 (15:31)

I came here because I am struggling (see my blog, if you are a sparkfriend of mine). Telling myself that I need to go to bed and not let upset feelings trigger me into binge eating / eating the wrong foods / overeating.So I am trying to give myself sensible responses to those urges.Such as:
These feelings will pass and I am better off sleeping now than eating. I need and deserve to see the number on the scale go down. My health needs it.

BEATLETOT, not sure just what your question is?
You forgot about it and now you want to eat it? Or is this about having to throw food out?

SPICEY, most of the days are here on the Team Forum, there is a thread for each day, Kriszta even posted a list of them and where to find them I think. So you could read those.
Personally I feel the green book (Beck Diet for Life) is better than the regular pink book!
Here is the link to that list: www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/
team_messa
geboard_thread.asp?board=0x1
0071x6
4733921

Edited by: WHITE-GREEN at: 1/4/2019 (17:05)

Day 16: NO CHOICE.

Sabotaging Thought: "I forgot about...!"

Whether it's a food in the fridge about to go bad, having a company luncheon, brunch with friends, or a forgotten component of a traditional meal (say, stuffing at Thanksgiving), how do y'all handle these situations?

The Beck for Life is the "green" version

Hi,

Beck Diet for life is the only book I don't have : (
But I have some ideas:
Forms: I checked the official Beck website's "Resources"
diet.beckinstitute.org/resour
ces/
but these forms seem to belong to the blue book Beck Diet Traps - are they helpful?

Days: it must be annoying!
does the book use the same skills/practices as the pink book? if yes, you can reference the Day 1-42 links in the General Discussion Forum or the pink book itself to create a "Table of contents"

No breakdown and calories:
I would use the SP Nutrition tracker as a supplement.

No option without snacks:
When I switched from 3 meals + 2 snacks to 3-meals-only,
I basically distributed the food that used to be in my snacks between the meals.
Before, I ate fruit at breakfast and 2 snacks - now I eat fruit at all the 3 meals.
Before, I ate yogurt and oats + flaxseed in afternoon snack - now I put more milk, oats and flaxseed in my breakfast.

Kindle edition:
maybe they are better formatted if you downolad to PC/laptop and view on large screen?

I hope it helps, at least a little!






Edited by: KRISZTA11 at: 5/12/2018 (06:15)

Hello Beck followers.

I am making my way through the Beck for Life, kindle version. It was described as the 'pink' book + dietary guides so I figured it had benefitted from updating and revision. I am not finding it structured into numbered days though, which gets me a bit confused when tuning in here. There are total calorie allowance levels stated but not how it is broken down into meals and snacks, and no avenue for using only meals without snacks. Also the daily checklists are impossible to make out in the kindle version so I am not sure what I am needing to accomplish as daily tasks. Are there other places to get the worksheets/checklists?

Any help is appreciated.

Peace and Care

Hi SarahLiz, I'm glad you got back on track, and that you are feeling better!

Kriszta! Glad to know that those days are the hardest and it gets easier. I
found 25-26-27 to be very helpful but definitely a lot of information to absorb. I made cards for the common thinking errors and the seven questions and I have been reviewing them.

I don't think it had to do with the days assignments in particular, but rather that it was the weekend where I have less control over my food and my day.

I was back on track starting yesterday, so today is a little bit easier. Even though I was not my best Beck on Sunday, I did meal prep for the week, so my meals are all planned out and mostly prepped.

Thank you OHMEMEME

I'm glad to know others still haven't perfected it - sometimes the writing is a bit like once we solve it, we never have to worry about it, but I suppose that is to give us confidence since some things will be easier than others and it is different for everyone.

I think for me it is still something new and I have to make an effort to sit down and do my beck homework/journaling.

Hi SarahLiz,
first of all, congrats to your progress through the book,
so you are past the most difficult Day 25-26-27 - great job!
It will be downhill from this point : )
As Tricia wrote, we all have some days like that.
Was there anything disturbing about Day 28 or 29? or maybe working with sabotaging thoughts and thinking mistakes was very demanding? This too shall pass, and dieting will be easier again, soon after you get back on track. Remember: you don't have to commit for forever, just one day at a time.

Of course, it happens to probably everyone I know including myself. We are human and perfection is not possible. That's why Dr.Beck includes the chapter on getting BACKONTRACK, which is probably the most important lesson that I have learned. I often slip with a single technique, meal, day, week. Some times it is unknowingly until it's over and done and other times it is blatant conscious rebellion against everything I've learned. As my fitness instructor says, "it doesn't get easier, it gets better!" But it does get easier in a since and most definatley gets better as we learn and RELEARN the techniques we need in a particular situation or day. CBT works but you have to practice it. However, I have never completely "done" the whole book start to finish but have greatly benefited from it. Some the most admirable Sparkers have gone through the book many times overs years and are still learning. One thing I have taken from Dr. Beck is more of an indirect lesson of CBT - I read and journal to myself daily kinda like ARC cards to "brainwash" myself into truley believing that this is the new healthier me (even when I mess up) and all the effort is worth it!

My diet coach and I are both new to Beck, so I wanted to pop in here, too.

I have been doing great and doing my Beck tasks and I am on Day 29 today.

Yesterday was a very strange day - it's like I totally forgot all of my Beck lessons. I didn't read my ARC and response cards, I was tasting/eating standing up as I was meal prepping, I wasn't tracking, I was eating unplanned food, I didn't do my Beck daily lesson - it was all a bit of a mess. I feel like I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and was totally out of my routine all day.

I drew my line this morning and went to work out and I have my day planned out.

Does this happen to anyone else? How can I keep it from happening again? Any tips/advice appreciated.

Thanks Kriszta.

Hi Jan,
this is great doable and meaningful goal,
and once you are there, you will see where your weight wants to go.
Maybe you will stay there, maybe you will continue losing.


Many maintainers continue losing after reaching original goal if they keep up their healthy habits and don't add 1-200 healthy calories to their plan.
In my case, my initial goal was what SP gave me, spot on the middle of healthy BMI range 22.5 which was very inspiring and motivating for me at that time. But later I lost more weight.


Edited by: KRISZTA11 at: 12/28/2017 (04:35)

Thanks for the advice Tricia.. I have been obsessing about this for weeks. I think I have arrived at a good solution.... I have always been comfortable at a size 16, which for me (at 5'9") is about 173#. I will make that my goal. When I reach it, I will see if I can maintain it for awhile (maybe a year) and then I will re-evaluate what weight would be best for me. It's really my best choice because I have a lot of size 16 clothes in storage. It's only been 6 years since I've worn them, so they shouldn't be too much out of style (not that I really care about that anyway). I am pretty much a homebody, other than going to the YMCA and the grocery store. I'll buy a few nice outfits before I go on vacation and I'm good.
I am excited to quit obsessing and start concentrating on making this happen.

Its something to think about for sure because you probably have a number in mind...your plan seems reasonable but there are sooooo many variables...be realistic and set mini goals like 10% of current weight. My first goal when I started 6 yrs ago was 175 lbs at 5'7" and 48 yrs old. It took me years to get there and jumping up 5-15 lbs. just in the past 6 months after finally holding that number a long while I lowered goal to 165 and am now 54 yrs old. The Spark chart advises max of 159 and I know that's not maintainable for me. I have a large frame and very active. A size 12 fits me. I'm happy here and know what kind of eating and activity it takes to keep me here. Beck goes into setting weight at the end of pink book. Again, finding that happy manageable weight is a work in profess for many maintainers I follow. Best wishes to you!

How do most of the women on this team determine what their ideal weight should be? Is the standard BMI table the best route to go?
I have been overweight pretty much since giving birth to my firstborn son 30 years ago. I decided to use the maximum weight in the normal range on the BMI table, then subtract 5 pounds so that I have some wiggle room after I reach my goal. Is this number realistic for a woman in her sixties? I feel that I am setting myself up for failure.

Thank you for this thread and this board!

This is a lot to think about, and great strategies!

I agree, no food is worth being worried and anxious about it.
Congrats to losing the weight you wanted to!
If you have lost on this plan, chances are, you can add 1-200-300 calories to your food plan safely, and maintain your weight safely.
...which is a lot better than staying on same plan and eating unplanned things on impulse. In my experience, that means more calories and weight creeping up.

Good thinking about upcoming special occasions. Unusual food often means some weight gain (in may case always) - but those pounds go away once you are back to your routine.

I feel the same about saving calories in advance to be able to eat more later.
Feeling deprived or " I have been so good, now I can afford eating (something huge)" - sparing 300 calories and eating extra 1000 is not much better than not sparing anything in the first place.

Enjoy the special occasions!

Emotional work indeed...here's a few notes to myself that I'm trying to work on and I am open to any coaching fellow Beckers may have.

Beck Thoughts and Strategies
...and other expert advice

Maintenance Battle - my weight is down a few pounds the last several months with much diligence.

Is the food worth it?
If it's yummy, controlled portion, eaten mindfully, or planned then yes. If it's gobbled or eaten with anxiety of any sort, NO. No includes socially accepted binge, recognition that it doesn't matter because others ARE watching. Thoughts about, I deserve this! (not acceptable)
I CAN eat this or this much. Slow down. Enjoy it for what it is. Stop the madness. Eat it but eat it for the right reason even if that reason IS pleasure or loosening the reigns; be grateful that you've worked it into your plan or that you've been in control long enough and consistently enough to be allowed the extra at that moment. Credit. It's my choice.

On the run or alone is not a reason to binge. May be reasonable to eat out-of-the-ordinary but not out of control. Enjoy time, food, choices/decisions. Think about why you feel this kind of freedom... Decisions not accountable to anyone but me.

Slacking off or Planning for Maintainance
Staying at 1500 cals with 2 meals low on carbs and evening ice cream has worked to lose weight for several months. Can I and should I continue? Feeling somewhat restricted...but why? Is it normal just because it is controlled or is it too restrictive? How consistent on cals have I REALLY been...? Always special days, even weeks intermixed...

Should I add cals?
Not sure yet.
Special occasions coming up and know will be off track. That doesn't mean I have to totally abandon strategies for all meals. Why do I feel sad and disappointed about that?
Find satisfaction in the activities involved. Fun, relaxing, entertaining, escape from reality, time out, pleasure without guilt.
I will have out of the ordinary food but it can be portion controlled. Hunger is not an emergency and I can eat more now or later. Do I want to feel stuffed? Why? What is satisfaction?
I will be over on cals some days, but 1000 or 2000 is better than 3, 4 or 5000. No all-or-nothing attitude. Just enjoy what is...extra drinks, extra food, extra treats within reason and MINDFULLY. Social eating and alcohol consumption is part of my life/culture.
BACK ON TRACK in between event days and upon return home. It really doesn't take that much food to fill me up.
Hunger is not an emergency. Think about those lessons learned, experience with waiting till the next meal and controlled portions. I've done it daily. I live it. I'm truly not hungry but satisfied with good choices and proper amounts. If I'm hungry, I can always eat more later.

Should I add healthy carb to a meal?
Occasionally...add some whole grain (bread, brown rice, potato, corn, peas, beans) to a meal - try changing it up maybe at lunch to see if the carb sets you off later in the day. If so, wait till dinner. I'm thinking that works better...

Should I save/bank cals for those days that I do go over?
Somewhat, but not the best strategy. Doing so makes me feel deprived and then gives urge/permission to binge. Saving a few carbs/cals should be regular routine not really a preparation for splurges. Balance. Recognize that splurges will happen but it's my decision. Those splurges can be labeled, treats, special occasions, controlled or uncontrolled binge, pleasure, or negative escape. Plans can be made, Strategies can be implemented, and mistakes can be made, even on purpose. Live and learn. Be mindful of why you self sabotage... It's only food. Why so much thinking and work?!?

There is no magic pill or magic answer but there is a way...keep searching and keep Sparking...it's "work" but it's worked for over 6 years...journey on!

Yes, it is hard emotional work, and it takes a lot of courage and determination to start working on these issues.


Those 2 weeks of preparation really make it easier!

Upon writing the message below, I got an accountability partner on this board and immediately began with the pink Beck book on Day 1.

Now I see why I had to work through 2 weeks of her lessons and prep before beginning the discipline the writing a daily food plan and committing it to someone else.

I'm on Day 17 today. I have lost 4 pounds.

Food has been my dark closet, my drug of choice. Dragging it out into the light like this-- committing to myself, much less another person-- sets off alarm, panic, anger, wow, a whole host of emotions in me. I have no doubt this is hard, emotional work that must be done on myself by taking another SparkPeople member's hand and walking through the fire until this becomes habit. I have used up my lifetime license for impulse eating.

Ugh, ugh, ugh. Such a binge tonight as I haven't had for years.

Took my 89-year-old Dad for CT scan and chest XRay tonight and just flipped out after I got him safely home. He is so frail, my mom is failing too. Freaking out so much and eating.

I want to stop this crazy binging and live healthy. I had lost 50 lbs on SparkPeople in 2015 and have gained back 40. D:

Edited by: GAILITCH at: 8/17/2017 (18:02)

GOAL120A. it's so much harder when we're sick, it's a time when it's easier to grab something quick, which for me is my trigger foods. The best thing is to stay hydrated with teas, soups, lemon' mint leaves, cucumber slices in your water, or fresh herb sprigs in your water for a change. Tried sage, tarragon? If you can tolerate soups, remember to keep it high protein. Maybe use a blender to make it more palatable. Anything with sugar and starches will only trigger your hunger, and you know what happens then. But remember, you can do this. While you're under the weather, have you tried journaling? Sometimes just writing about how you'd like to eat something xxxxxxx will make you feel better. Just keep xxxxxxx out of your mouth.

What do people eat when they get sick? Recently I got real sick and (now I am better) but I went back to eating and over balanced diet of carbs and gained a few pounds back but felt I had the need to do it as my "new Diet" seemed to harsh for my stomach.

Thank you.
I know I should really stop eating the trigger foods.
I think once I taste the (sugar/salt) item my reasoning goes out the door.
I am starting Beck (pink) again. I think I need a back up.

I too suggest writing a food plan and sticking to it + writing up all unplanned food eaten,
it really helps to see clearly and to resist cravings as well.
Sounds like some foods trigger desire to overeat and craving,
and that is hard to resist,
I would suggest to identify problem foods and stop eating them,
or - if you can do it - add them to your plan an limit intake to the planned amounts.
I know, easier said than done, but your Beck skills will make it easier.

My suggestion would be to make a plan beforehand and write that out. But mayb eyou're already doing that?

Hello and Happy Sunday,
I think I might have posted in the wrong spot so I copied it over to here as well.
I love Beck and am going to have to re-read (Start) from the beginning.
I kind of lost my way.
I have such a BIG problem with if I see it I have to have one or many. emoticon
I am not over weight, I am in maintenance after losing the 20 pounds I had to lose.
My problem is the stuff that goes into my mouth when I am not home. It is like my mind does not come with me.
This is not all the time ,of course, or I'd be rolling.
So, I know Beck addresses all that so for today it is Day one. emoticon emoticon UGH! belly fat!
It's the sweets and salt that I go bonkers over.
Any suggestions beside never leaving home is greatly appreciated.
Thank you in advance.
I am on walking 10,000 steps a day and have been doing good with that. plus some ST.
emoticon emoticon

Thank you very much Kriszta! I will look up day 26 and 27.

Identifying the sabotaging thoughts is not easy - and you have done that already, that is great progress towards solving them.

I can't recall if you did day 26 and day 27 of the program, where dr. Beck explains how to identify thinking mistakes, and then investigate the sabotaging thoughts through the Seven Question Technique. If not, or a long time ago, it may be helpful to try them on these two.

My experience is that emotional overeating promises relief at times of stress, but it does not make it easier, it makes it worse. On the other hand, staying in control at least over food helps to stay strong in face of difficulties beyond your control.

Please feel free to write me Spark Mail if I can be of any help!



Edited by: KRISZTA11 at: 2/12/2017 (08:59)

I find myself struggling with sabotaging thoughts. I have one that says 'these events are so stressfull, and so rare, I will just eat whatever I want (binge) now and get back on plan later when my life is going more smoothly again'.

I have another that simply says 'When I feel overwhelmed / very stressed I can overeat / eat sweets'.

I would love some help in finding good response thoughts to those!

At the moment I am dealing with a lot of serious problems and strong emotions now because my mom was placed in a home and she's not doing well, and I live 3 hours travelling away so I can' t be there for her like I want to.

Edited by: WHITE-GREEN at: 2/11/2017 (03:25)

Hi Eileen, in case you would like a personal diet coach, you may check out this thread:
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/t
eam_messa
geboard_thread.asp?board=-1x1
0071x
65798623
There are members who posted they would like and accountability partner, you may find someone who didn't find their pair yet.


Edited by: KRISZTA11 at: 2/2/2017 (14:55)

I am on Day 6 - Find a Diet Coach. A good idea. I have many people in my life who would gladly assist me, my husband at the top of the list and two other friends who share my goal to lose weight. I'm having a hard time deciding who to choose.

I belonged to OA and dropped out. I had two sponsors at different times that I also dropped. I guess I don't care too much having to report to someone.

I would probably like emailing someone once a week. I just don't know what to do.

Hi Linda, I just saw your question regarding response cards torn out from the back of your Beck workbook. Sorry I missed it, and I hope you found a solution already.
You can prepare your own response cards if you copy the example sabotaging thoughts and helpful responses (or your own) on index cards.
This is what I did, because I have the book on my kindle e-book reader and I don't have the workbook at all. May be even more effective then using the "user ready" ones.
I bought the workbook for my mom (who never started it) and I saw those response cards in the back are meant to be torn out as one proceeds with the program.

There is indeed a section called "resisting food pushers" on Day 29. Hope this helps.
Btw, love your page and all the pictures! Let us know how you are doing.

Sorry I can't help with the cards, Linda. I'm still a newbie.

I do have a Q for the team please. Is there a specific section on how to deal with 'feeders' - people who want us to 'eat up'? It isn't ill-intentioned necessarily, but just a different way of perceiving food. Can be hard not to offend....

Thank you for any advice.

Hey Beck Team,

I have the Beck Workbook but someone had torn out the Response Cards from the back of the book. Is there a site or some place I can see the Response Cards?

Thanks,
Linda

Kriszta! this was really helpful to read "last but not least: if there is an online menu, I pick my choice the day before, remember it, and don't open the menu at all"

what a great idea. thanks.

Krizta, thanks for the helpful ideas. I like that you have a specific set of rules for restaurants. I am going to make a set, too, to stay prepared.

Sounds like a very helpful approach to me!
You can even have the other half packed and save for another meal.

During the last Beck reboot, I made a few new restaurant rules for myself, and found them helpful:
1. I will not eat bread - why should I, I can always bread at home... and if I do eat bread, it always ends with overeating
2. I will not touch leftovers of others
3. no starters, no soup, just the main course and a small dessert
4. bring a copy of my Stay in Control when Eating Out response card in my handbag - I don't need to look at it, it is enough to know I have it

(last but not least: if there is an online menu, I pick my choice the day before, remember it, and don't open the menu at all)

I have a lunch outing coming up on Friday. I do not know where we will go. For my food plan that day, I will commit to eating just half of whatever I meal I order at the restaurant. This seems sensible and sustainable as a life-long habit for dealing with uncertainty concerning meals eaten out.

It would be helpful to know how more experienced Beck team members manage situations like this. Thanks!