Emotional work indeed...here's a few notes to myself that I'm trying to work on and I am open to any coaching fellow Beckers may have.
Beck Thoughts and Strategies
...and other expert advice
Maintenance Battle - my weight is down a few pounds the last several months with much diligence.
Is the food worth it?
If it's yummy, controlled portion, eaten mindfully, or planned then yes. If it's gobbled or eaten with anxiety of any sort, NO. No includes socially accepted binge, recognition that it doesn't matter because others ARE watching. Thoughts about, I deserve this! (not acceptable)
I CAN eat this or this much. Slow down. Enjoy it for what it is. Stop the madness. Eat it but eat it for the right reason even if that reason IS pleasure or loosening the reigns; be grateful that you've worked it into your plan or that you've been in control long enough and consistently enough to be allowed the extra at that moment. Credit. It's my choice.
On the run or alone is not a reason to binge. May be reasonable to eat out-of-the-ordinary but not out of control. Enjoy time, food, choices/decisions. Think about why you feel this kind of freedom... Decisions not accountable to anyone but me.
Slacking off or Planning for Maintainance
Staying at 1500 cals with 2 meals low on carbs and evening ice cream has worked to lose weight for several months. Can I and should I continue? Feeling somewhat restricted...but why? Is it normal just because it is controlled or is it too restrictive? How consistent on cals have I REALLY been...? Always special days, even weeks intermixed...
Should I add cals?
Not sure yet.
Special occasions coming up and know will be off track. That doesn't mean I have to totally abandon strategies for all meals. Why do I feel sad and disappointed about that?
Find satisfaction in the activities involved. Fun, relaxing, entertaining, escape from reality, time out, pleasure without guilt.
I will have out of the ordinary food but it can be portion controlled. Hunger is not an emergency and I can eat more now or later. Do I want to feel stuffed? Why? What is satisfaction?
I will be over on cals some days, but 1000 or 2000 is better than 3, 4 or 5000. No all-or-nothing attitude. Just enjoy what is...extra drinks, extra food, extra treats within reason and MINDFULLY. Social eating and alcohol consumption is part of my life/culture.
BACK ON TRACK in between event days and upon return home. It really doesn't take that much food to fill me up.
Hunger is not an emergency. Think about those lessons learned, experience with waiting till the next meal and controlled portions. I've done it daily. I live it. I'm truly not hungry but satisfied with good choices and proper amounts. If I'm hungry, I can always eat more later.
Should I add healthy carb to a meal?
Occasionally...add some whole grain (bread, brown rice, potato, corn, peas, beans) to a meal - try changing it up maybe at lunch to see if the carb sets you off later in the day. If so, wait till dinner. I'm thinking that works better...
Should I save/bank cals for those days that I do go over?
Somewhat, but not the best strategy. Doing so makes me feel deprived and then gives urge/permission to binge. Saving a few carbs/cals should be regular routine not really a preparation for splurges. Balance. Recognize that splurges will happen but it's my decision. Those splurges can be labeled, treats, special occasions, controlled or uncontrolled binge, pleasure, or negative escape. Plans can be made, Strategies can be implemented, and mistakes can be made, even on purpose. Live and learn. Be mindful of why you self sabotage... It's only food. Why so much thinking and work?!?
There is no magic pill or magic answer but there is a way...keep searching and keep Sparking...it's "work" but it's worked for over 6 years...journey on!
A decision made about how much to weigh is a decision made on how to live. I have decided.