DAILY CHECK-IN: A New Part of the To-Do List

Glad you and your daughter got away for a nice break.

Edited by: MARITIMER3 at: 2/15/2020 (15:32)

Thank you everyone for your support and advice about hot flushes and sleep problems, it helps me a lot.

@THE_FAE that's a good point about acceptance and embracing life as it is.
The way you handled bi-phasic sleep may help me.
So far I didn't do it, because of my meditation teacher's general advice not to get up at night, just stay in bed, aware of breathing and physical sensations. He didn't know about hot flushes ; ) I'll try getting up and do my meditation. in the middle of the night, and sleep longer in the morning.

@TRINASFITLIFE those long babysitting days sound exhausting, take good care of yourself!
Yarn is a nice and creative way to hold the ARC cards.

My new strategy is working, I'm doing well without planning in writing, I think because of my years of practice and because I still measure all my food on the kitchen scale.
My compliance is not 100% but pretty good.
Daughter and I spent 2 days in a nice spa, lots of swimming, walking, sauna, and a massage. Lots of delicious and healthy food options, we were happy with our stay.


Edited by: KRISZTA11 at: 2/9/2020 (11:53)

My goodness! I've been babysitting and some days are 13 or 12 hours! The days I have free, I'm exhausted! My diabetes and high blood pressure is partly to blame as well. It takes a toll on you, and these long days don't help. I'll bet glad when babysitting is over!

Still trying to get in the grove with babysitting and working on my health things too.

My ARC card holder broke. I have a stack on a ring and the ring broke, so I'm using yarn I found instead.

I'm so excited for the reading. I've started, but with babysitting, put it on pause.

Kriszta, I have the opposite problem. I'm always cold! I'm not regular anymore, but I haven't noticed any symptoms and differences. I'm sure they'll come though. That's great to incorporate those into your ARC cards. I always have a fan running at night just for background noise at least but helps to breathe better too. I can't sleep without a fan on anymore.

I'm babysitting now, but wanted to pop in quickly.
Have a great Beck weekend!

@KRISZTA11 I went through menopause in my 40s. mine wasn't too intense ... a lot of "is it hot in here or is it me?" my sister teased me, then did the very same thing!
my family would joke about my Christmas tank tops. because we would get together for the holidays and I would be wearing sleeveless shirts because I had to lose layers :)

Insomnia was also a part of my thing. After fighting it, I embraced it. I would just read a while on my kindle paper white with the light very dim and it helped me fall back to sleep. Sometimes, I'd just get up. I would go to bed and then wake for 2-3 hours every night. then I'd go back to sleep for a few hours. I accepted if I got 5-7 hours total (aiming for 7 hours) even with getting up and doing things. I embraced that time awake as a time for reflection and creating.

I slept with my ceiling fan high even in winter on and heat VERY low at night. I kept water by the bed (I always do).
When I would feel hot I would toss covers off and cool down. I would drink water too. Instead of being angry and fighting the lessening of my sleep (I've never slept long amounts any way), I just embraced it.
During the day I wore layers and it wasn't uncommon for me to go down to my tank top even outside in winter for a few minutes to cool down.

I remember those days! Take good care of yourself. :)

So, we are in for the group reading challenge starting March 1 : )

On Monday I found a missing link that explains why I have been so unenergetic and grumpy!
I lost 2-3 hours of sleep each night due to hot flushes, and didn't realize what was going on.
Googled how to avoid them, and some articles say sugar and processed carbs provoke hot flushes... that's a new item for my Advantages Response Card! : )
Also, I decreased room temperature, use lighter quilt, wear socks in bed (supposed to decrease core temperature... and say NO to all unplanned food.
Since I made the changes, I sleep much better, and lost "only" 1 hour of sleep.
I feel so much better : )

kriszta, good for you. you're an inspiration for many of us. you have it fairly second nature with the good habits. I am glad you will lead the spring reading. for me twice a year will help.

I've noticed in the past year what is working for me is the consistency of my day to day. I don't change it up much. it helps me with my food challenges if I have a routine. my morning coffee, my smoothie, my small lunch. this is a given. I just copy and paste it to my phone.
I then know what range for supper. I do this daily.

I log into sparkpeople every am on my smartphone. I track my food there. I have my reminders to read my response cards and give myself credit for doing a good job.

I don't log in on my computer very often so I can't access this group, but I'm trying to remember to do this 2-3 times a week.

I'm still a bit focused on my food right now because it's easy for me to still want to play the late night snack game. so I NEED to be diligent.

Hi Kriszta. Thank you for explaining how you will be modifying your activities on Spark, based on how well you understand your meal planning and exercising.

I am very glad that you will be leading the spring re-read, and am looking forward to taking part in it again. I got badly off track in January, but am getting things regulated again.

Gail

Kriszta, it makes sense to stop doing things like tracking exercise and planning food, since it is becoming old for you and you already have these down pat. You can always reassess, say a month from now, and make sure there has been no negative impact on your exercise or food.

It is also reasonable to cut back on how often you check in to Spark, if you are not feeling like doing it daily. 3 or 4 times a week sounds good.

It is good that you took the time to review what is working for you and what is not. You will feel a relief by cutting out the non-essentials.

I also think that if you hit a time when you feel you need to go back to tracking, planning, and daily checking in, it will be fresh for you again and you will get more out of it in your time of need than you would have if you were still burned out on those things.

I am glad you will be doing the group reading in Spring. A lot of us need the twice a year group reading and appreciate the time and effort you put into it.

Hi dear Team,
I'm so glad to see your posts!


The past few months have been difficult for me on the food front.
The thing is, I seem to have two very different eating behaviors.
A) over 95% of the time I follow all 4 Bright Line Eating rules and my Beck Diet solution skills, and I am Happy, Thin and Free.
Happy with my meals, happy with my high energy levels and good mood
Thin: maintaining my goal eight or dipping below
Free_ free form cravings and hunger, free form mindless chatter about food, basically never thinking of food outside meals
B) less than 5% of the time: I stumble and eat a bite standing up in the kitchen... and a chain reaction starts, with every bite making it harder to stop.
I'm still Thin - but definitely less Happy and certainly not Free.

I have been active here on SP for 9 and half years, planned my food in writing almost every day. meaning several months even years in a row. I logged in and tracked my exercise without fail every day.
That's a lot of tracking and I loved it, but it is getting old as I know my portions and meal combinations by heart.

Now I'm trying to decrease my routines, to find a golden middle way between the two extremes.

It is clear that practicing the 4 Bright Lines (No Sugar, No Four, Meals and Quantities) is essential for my well being and happiness.
Also essential are several of my Beck Diet Solution skills: eat slowly and mindfully, sitting down (not one bite standing), arrange my food environment, create time and energy, practice hunger tolerance, overcome cravings, get back on track immediately, deal with discouragement, respond to sabotaging thoughts, prepare for special & social food situations, eliminate emotional eating, solve problems, reduce stress...

On the other hand, I'll reduce or stop doing things that are not essential to my well being and happiness.
I stopped tracking my exercise (it has been the same for 9 years and I love it)
I stopped planning my meals in writing, and I choose my 3 meals from a menu, planning mentally only.
I stopped checking into SP several times a day - now it is only 3-4 times per week, to see what's going on in my teams and on my friend feed.
I stopped tracking my weight every day - now it is once weekly for the +-3 % maintenance challenge.

I hope this helps me focus on and doing better in the Essential activities, and avoid the rare but painful bad food days.

Note: I'll do the spring Beck Diet Solution group reading challenge this spring, as always : )

speaking of tempting foods in the house: my daughter asked me to get her some junk food cereal (cinnamon toast crunch) as a treat. I don't even like it that much ... guess who's had it 2 nights in a row? ugh. I'm going to put it in her room and hide it from me.

trina, as a single parent for pretty much my entire adult life and then when in relationships still not making a lot of money, I GET IT. I too, have to make a dollar out of a nickel and make it go far. my youngest is still at home and I've been on a tight budget for a long time!

rambling here.

can you cook smaller portions or freeze it or serve smaller? can you keep the unhealthy/tempting for you (and for your family) sweets and temptation foods out of the house and make it a once or twice a week go get an ice cream or whatever trip?

I'm still dealing with the after effects of my cold. I still don't have my voice back and just drained. Hopefully I'll be all better soon!

Susan, Yes, dealing with the craving is the key. It's good to have an "escape plan" to try to deal with the cravings, or even a substitution. I don't crave chocolate, but if I can't get away from needing something sweet, I'll have a mini chocolate protein shake with unsweetened cocoa powder. It's been found that cocoa powder helps with cravings. Or I'll make a "hot cocoa" with it in water. I'll have a chia tea to as a "desert". That's been helpful to me.

Fae, I still struggle with wasting food. Plus, I find it's sometimes easier said than done when you're struggling to put food on the table. I try to be a good steward of the food we have to not waste it. I'd rather save it for left overs than to trash it, but try not to feel bad anyway if I do have to. Not worth getting sick over it including eating it to keep me sick. My diabetes is directly related to my weight and eating to much keeps me sick. So, I try to think of it that way. Probably didn't make sense, LOL

Someone on Spark once said what's better to waste food or "waist" food. It's been helpful and I've said it often but I had to laugh when DH who puts up with all my "helpful sayings" recently repeated it to me.

bravo susan!!! that's excellent. it's not easy, but you did it!

I throw out food that I'm eating even though I don't want it, but have bad habit of eating. I hate wasting food, but I remember that beck mentions that we can look at wasting food in two ways ... either going in trash or going in the body to make us gain weight and be unhealthy. The ice cream we dump down the sink or the two oz of almonds I tossed in the trash will not solve world hunger. the next step is to not buy it if we can help it. (harder with others in the house.)

the past two days I have been sucking on some peppermint candy cane from Xmas. one of those huge ones? I don't really like them. someone gave us them as part of a gift.
last night I broke off a piece to suck on absentmindedly while finishing up my evening chores and then a second. then I realized how silly I was being and tossed it in the trash.




Edited by: THE_FAE at: 1/28/2020 (09:35)

WTG Susan! It's challenging but one success often leads to another and another .. .Beckniques work!

Trina, I Hope that you are feeling better!

Edited by: GOCALGAL at: 1/25/2020 (13:33)

Struggled through a persistent chocolate craving last night. Even went into the “not my food” cupboard and touched the M&Ms and chocolate squares. Kept doing one Beck technique after another, as craving kept coming back. Started telling myself if I just went ahead and ate a bit of chocolate then craving would go away. Realized that going ahead and eating chocolate was not going to help me learn to ignore cravings. Managed to get through the evening without the chocolate and I do not have the craving today.

Take care, Trina. Hope you are better soon

I'm STILL sick! Coughing is keeping me up at night and even with a sleep aid. I'm also babysitting about 11 to 12 hours a day when they're here. It's not every day, but still.

Plus, I made my own diet plan that should work for me. I finally feel like I'm getting into the groove of things.

Staying within my calorie range, but struggling with not eating at night.

Thanks, Susan. Wish I could say I'm always that strong.

Gail, it takes a lot of strength to run hot water over ice cream! I admire that. When I read that, I thought I don’t think I could do that. But if you can do it, I can do it. That is a very good example of what we have to do sometimes to stop ourselves from eating something we shouldn’t. I hate to waste food too. I have found myself at times eating something just to get rid of it so that it won’t keep tempting me. How stupid is that?! It would be much better to throw it out. Thanks for the visual. Next time I am tempted to eat something just so it will stop tempting me, I will remember the hot water on the ice cream.

Thanks for your comment, THE_FAE. Yes, Peter is a food pusher, but I’m firm with him and make him eat whatever “treat” he brings me for his next meal.

I know exactly what you mean about eating something simply because it’s there... I’ve been known to dump ice cream into the sink and run hot water over it just so it wouldn’t be there to tempt me. I hate wasting food, but it’s better, sometimes, to throw it out rather than eat it.

Gail

@maritimer in the BDS there is talk about food pushers. your husband is one. my daughter's dad is one also. he would bring me "treats" and basically stare at me until I ate it. I was in my 130s and healthy weight. it was the start of my foray into over eating.
he also has unhealthy eating habits (he'd eat too fast and too much and on) so instead of him picking up my healthy habits of eating slow and healthy, I picked up his bad habits.

we didn't stay together long, but I gained weight, had a baby and then stayed that 25 pounds up. I got kind of back on track, then married a chef. HAHA that was another nearly 40 pounds. he's another food pusher, but not in same way. he just loves to cook and he does it well. we are divorced and best friends and talk on the phone almost daily. he cooks even when not working and we talk food all the time and share ideas on how to prepare things (we did when together as I'm a fine cook too). thank god he lives 2 hours away. I'd be a million pounds now.

I have had 2 over eat days. tortilla chips are a downfall for me. went to a Mexican restaurant with my daughter and even though I got the salad (which is delicious) with the fajita veggies and chicken and enough for leftovers (I get their house made vinagrete which is citrus and not much oil) but ate a few more chips than usual. I try to just eat 4 or 5.
then we brought home leftovers including the chips which I ate because they were there. ugh. and I binged on almonds late at night and I wasn't hungry. I looked at the almonds in my little snack bowl and thought why am I doing this? I was frustrated with myself when I went to bed.

next night my son and his gal made me supper and I ate 2 enchiladas (they use flour tortillas instead of corn) and chips. I tracked when I got home, I was upper end of my caloric range. if they didn't have chips ....

I do well if I'm at home. I can control my food choices better. I don't have the danger foods in the house (and those almonds are about to disappear!)

I'm still up 3 lbs. from before the holidays, but am back on track with my eating, getting in lots of vegetables, lean protein and healthy fats. I use olive oil exclusively now (though I miss the mushrooms cooked in butter!), and have pretty much eliminated brown rice, pasta and white potatoes from my meal plans. The only grain I eat now is a whole wheat English muffin once a day. I've also talked to Peter (DH) and he has agreed to eat out less and stop bringing me "treats" when he goes to a fast-food place for lunch with one of his friends.

Most of my exercise these days seems to be doing extra cleaning. I've been culling bookcases; cleaning the filing cabinet; doing inventory of the freezers; emptying out kitchen cupboards, washing them, and putting things back... lots of after-holidays cleaning. I do need to get back to the pool this week, and the treadmill.

Feeling back in control. On track again. Feeling committed and confident. My focus today is “resistance”.

Trina, sorry you’ve been sick, glad you are getting better. So many people are sick right now. Most of our family and extended family are battling colds and flu. I’m trying to kick a stubborn cold myself.

I had a good day yesterday until the evening and then I blew it and I am going through the kicking myself phase today. I am amazed at how I can feel motivated, confident and committed one day, and then feel like I am never going to lose weight the next day. This is like a roller coaster ride! Anyway, I have to do a lot of serious positive self-talk today and get myself back on track.

I agree with about needing to preplan your meals. If you do that then you usually stick to your plan. If you don’t then you are more prone to giving into impulses. I am so glad Kriszta is going to coach you. You will find it a great help to report to someone and get objective, encouraging feedback. I communicate with my Beck Buddy through Spark Mail, and I date my message and keep the same thread going and that allows me to scroll down through previous messages and be encouraged by my progress.

I've been sick, but I'm getting better. I can't complain as I haven't been sick like this in awhile.

I'm working hard getting my blood pressure down. I haven't checked it yet, but some things seem a little better. Watching sodium intake, making fitness a priority, and focusing on losing to get to my first goal weight.

Susan, That's a great plan tough have set up. I'm kinda doing the same thing as I'm an emotional eater.

Kriszta, I would love for you to be my Beck buddy! Thanks so much for offering. Whatever works best for you would be great! I've been thinking what other steps to take for my blood pressure, so I'm still in the finding the diet mode and setting up a plan. I need to work on planning my meals the night before.

I’m glad you got back on track, Kriszta. Good for you!

My dinner situation is still going well. Now I am really trying to focus on being aware of my hunger level. If I am hungry, it is okay to eat until satisfied. But I should not allow myself to eat if I am not hungry, or past the point of being satisfied. The challenge is first of all taking the time to assess my hunger level and secondly figuring out non-food alternatives when I want something to eat for reasons other than hunger. I’m going to use trial and error. I am going to work on my Distractions Technique Chart (Day 13) and list everything I can think of that might be a possible alternative non-food behaviour. And I will try them and make note of how successful they were. Keeping in mind that a distraction might not work, say if I am eating because I am tired, but the same distraction might work if I am eating because I am bored. So I need to test the same distraction in multiple situations. I hope to come up with a list of 2 or 3 things, or at least 1 thing, that will work in each situation. And then practice using that distraction until it becomes automatic.

If I can overcome this tendency to turn to food for comfort, it will be a major achievement.

Susan, I loved your posts about the apartment cleaning challenge & playlist, and about your dinner negotiations with your husband. What an empowering experience!
Your Beck Buddy is a wise woman, and I'm so glad you shared the story.

Trina, I hope your blood pressure is going down, and that things are looking brighter.
I can be your Beck Buddy if you wish - I'm not coaching anyone at the moment.

The_Fae, congrats to doing so well during the winter holidays, special credit to you for managing the brownies so wisely. Popcorn is a good choice indeed.




Edited by: KRISZTA11 at: 1/9/2020 (14:34)

Hi Ladies, I'm so glad to see your posts here!


I had 2 more bad food days and felt really discouraged,
I even stopped checking in to SP, and considered taking a few week's Spark Break.
Gained 2-3 pounds, but I was more disappointed by the recurrence of binges, and the fact that -unlike past 3-4 years - I still didn't lose the 3-4 pounds I had gained during summer.
I cut out cooked grains from my dinner plans, now it is only legumes, olive oil, lots of vegetables, fruit and 3 super tiny squares of 99% dark chocolate... it did the trick, my eating is back to normal (that is, 3 meals only, nothing in between, no sugar, no flour).... and pesky cravings and desire to overeat and mental chatter are GONE.

Thinking mistake: Irrelevance. Two unrelated concepts. It’s okay to eat because I am so stressed out.

Response: Emotional eating is not okay. I need to tolerate my distress or solve the problem.

The problem is beyond my control, I need to tolerate my distress.

If I keep doing what I am doing, I will not lose weight, and I may gain weight.

If I change my thinking, I will learn to tolerate my distress, and I will remain in control of my eating.

What would I advise a friend? Focus on the positive, enjoyable things in life. Practice breathing and relaxation techniques. Let the worrisome thoughts go. Do not use food to numb your feelings. Eating unplanned foods will only make you feel worse. Get back in control.

What will I do? Pull out my response cards for emotional eating and keep them handy. Be aware of whether I am craving something because I am feeling emotional. Am I tense? Do relaxation techniques. Keep a journal of things to be thankful for and focus on the positive things in my life.

I think the wine is the issue. I get more complacent then. one glass, then a second and then a snack.

last night was no wine, but I did have popcorn. 100 calories. less than a glass of wine and more nutrition than wine.

I think mine is more of a ritual. I have eaten light and healthy. I haven't gone over and so I should be able to have a snack.

yesterday I did a lot of healthy ways w food. I had my smoothie. I worked and felt hungry. I wanted to stop and eat. I said, it's not an emergency. I continued to work an additional hour and forgot about my hunger.
I then came into the house and felt the hunger. I looked at the time and said, yeah. that is a legit feeling. so I had some food.

I wasn't hungry when I had the popcorn, but I'd planned for it as a late night snack (you all can read my prior posts about me and my wanting my late night snack) ... popcorn is the most filling and low calorie and satisfying that I've found.

Edited by: THE_FAE at: 1/8/2020 (09:41)

The_Fae, I had a bad day myself today. I was doing well, and next thing I knew I got all snacky and “winey”. It was just a mistake....one bad day. I am sure going to try to get right back on track, and use the 7 question technique to figure out what was bothering me and what to do about it. We can do this!

thanks!
I am struggling with over eating as I've been having some down time and not being as mindful as I usually am.
I am not going into major over eating, but definitely being less mindful.
I wanted a glass of wine and drove to store yesterday and got two bottles because I was being indecisive. then had 2 big glasses of wine AND pasta (my friend gave me a marinara bowtie pasta, veggie & shrimp casserole) AND then I had chocolate that my daughter gave me.

so yesterday wasn't good. I didn't go way overboard, but I was definitely upper end of the spectrum (I try to stay around 1200-1300 and I was probably 1600 calories) ugh.

I had a strong talking to myself after my binge.

You are doing great The_Fae! Back on track after the holidays and birthday dinner. You have really handled your challenges well this year, using your Beck techniques. Very proud of you! So great when the techniques become habit. I’ve come a long way with the techniques since I started BDS, and with continued practice I can see that some of them are becoming automatic....slowly but surely! Wishing you a great 2020!

Happy New a Year, everyone! Perfect day to start fresh if you’ve been off track.

I'm still here.

I haven't dropped off the earth. my December has been crazy busy with how my biz works. I basically work with no time off until close to Christmas Eve. today is the first day I've logged into sparkpeople on my laptop.

I didn't gain in December. in fact, I lost a bit. I'm now at my weight I was in my 30s. just by portion control and changing my thinking through bds.

I've logged in daily to sparkpeople, I have tracked my calories and water. I've read my response cards and given myself daily kudos for doing good.

I did get off track for the days dec 23-25. my son's birthday at a restaurant was challenging, but I was able to figure out food that wasn't too high in calories and didn't blow my diet that day. so the 23 wasn't bad. Christmas Eve and Day was another matter.

I have eaten some cookies and brownies but caught myself and put them in my daughters room. I told her don't bring them back out or I will put in trash. I still obsess. if it's not there, I don't obsess. my daughter in law gave me some wine and my calories have gone up because of that too.

so this past week, I went over calories on xmas eve and day. I've had the top end my 1200-1500 calories the rest of the week (because of wine and those darn peanut butter cookies lol). I'm back down to lower end of my calorie amount Sunday and Monday and yesterday ... so I'm back on track. I didn't go off track too much, I knew with the wine left in the house that my calories will be upper end until bottle is gone and i won't buy more wine. so I planned for that.

this past two years was hard with family stuff. I've lost both my parents and my heart dog. but I also lost 60 pounds and have gained confidence in myself. and that's good.

I’m now down 3.4 lbs since Dec 1...back on track! A new low for me. Dinner situation is working well.

Trina, you’ve got a real challenge with your blood pressure. I hope you are able to get it down. I’d offer to be your Beck Buddy, but my Beck Buddy and I help each other and I don’t have the time to add another Buddy. I hope one of the other Beck members will offer to be your Buddy. It has certainly helped me tremendously to report to someone daily and get their feedback and objective opinion and suggestions.

Tomorrow I start the Apartment Therapy January Cure 2020. I do it each year. Every day they email you an assignment to get your house (or apartment) organized and clean. People from around the world join in and posts their comments. I have a Spotify playlist called “Cleaning Day” that I got from a woman in Norway on the January Cure website a few years ago. I only play it when I am cleaning and it puts me right into cleaning mode. It is unbelievable how much you can accomplish in one month and it really boosts my mood to see my house in such good order. Having my house in order makes me feel in control and carries over to other areas of my life, like control of eating. I recommend it to anyone who wants some motivation to help them declutter, etc.

Edited by: SUSAN_CDN at: 12/31/2019 (13:16)

Oh, I could certainly use a Beck buddy!! My support system is nonexistent, basically.

Anyway, my blood pressure is now dangerously high. I'm actually scared. Going on a strict cardiac diet that fits my budget, which isn't much. I'm going to have to be creative. I haven't done well with blood pressure pills, so I'm going to do my best not to go that route.

I'm not surprised my blood pressure is the way it is. 2019 had been my worst year ever. Not good either going into 2020, but my health is number one regardless what happens this new year. It has to be.

Now I really have, NO CHOICE!!

Kriszta, it is good you caught yourself and got back on track...not an easy thing to do, but you did it quickly. Keep it up!

Yesterday, I decided to make a big change. Dinner is my downfall. My husband started cooking when he retired and now he has taken over cooking all the dinners. That is nice, and he is a good cook, and I appreciate it. However, the foods he cooks are too high in calories and carbs, and he serves up my dinner and gives me way too much. And I end up eating it and telling him it was a good dinner. I’ve told him before what I should and should not be eating and that I should only be eating half of the portion he gives me, and I’ve tried to make the dinner myself, but he puts away what I take out and he makes something else. It is an awkward situation because I don’t want to offend him, or be bossy, and I don’t like confrontation. After discussing the issue with my Beck Buddy and getting her feedback, I realized I was giving him mixed messages, and I needed to be really clear about what I want and I need to take control of what I eat. So I told him I am tired of bouncing around in the same few pound range and that I will never lose the weight I want if I keep eating the way I am. I said from now on I want to just have lean protein and vegetables for dinner and nothing fried or cooked in oil, and that I would make the dinner myself. I said I didn’t want to restrict him and if he wants something different he can make it. I had a lot of resistance to asserting myself like that, but I felt relieved once I did. I feel kind of powerful now. Last night we had chicken and carrots and he had the same as me. He still took over making it, but I spoke up and told him how I wanted it done, and monitored it to make sure he wasn’t adding butter or something. I feel like a weight has been lifted...hopefully it will result in an actual weight loss.

Special thanks to my Beck Buddy for giving me her objective advice and opinion and listing some questions I should be asking myself and empowering me to take control of what I eat. Love you! I won’t say who you are because everyone will want you to be their Beck Buddy and I think I take up enough of your time already.

Hi Susan, a 0.6 pound loss after a cruise and Christmas celebrations is a great success, I'm happy for you!
I had a bad food day yesterday, it was like turning a switch, after a chain of challenging food and/or emotional situations, boom I was back at my worst eating behavior.
If I would continue to behave that way, I would gain back all the weight and more... but I don't.
Back on track since 2 pm yesterday. and I know what to do to stay on track.

Since December 1 I lost 0.6 lbs. Since December 1 I have been on a cruise and then celebrated Christmas. It is not much of a loss, but I am actually happy I didn’t have a gain.

Now it is time to get serious!

Congrats to sticking to your written plans, Gail,
I'm so glad to read you are feeling calm and proud of your success.
Your Christmas trees with ornaments collected over many years sound wonderful, I imagine they bring back memories of quality time together.
I wish you a wonderful time with Dorothy!

My mom and dad have a 51-year old chocolate bell ornament they bought for their first Christmas together : )
My attempt to drastically reduce amount of bonbons on the tree was a success. Nobody missed them, so I guess in 2020 there will not be any.
(it is a Hungarian tradition since late 1800's - but it is going out of fashion, thankfully)

I too did well most days, except on the 26th when I gave in to desire to eat unplanned food, and I'm back on track since 27th.
I have a similar experience with hunger. craving and desire to eat.
I'm never hungry, except a few minutes in the morning - very mild if I ate well the day before, more intense if I overate the night before.
Craving is extremely rare too, if at all, it is provoked by a vicious cycle of "eating unplanned food" - "believing sabotaging thoughts explaining why it was OK to eat it.
Desire to eat starts small, and it really doesn't seem to matter if I eat a small amount, because it would be so easy to resist... but the taste and irrational thinking nurtures it into DESIRE that is hard to resist.

Edited by: KRISZTA11 at: 12/28/2019 (03:45)

Proud of myself for mostly sticking to my plan for Christmas. Some of the foods changed a bit, but I stayed within SP ranges for calories, carbs, fats (except for 1 day... who knew strata had so much fat???), protein, fibre and sodium. Now to get back on track for exercise.

Re-reading some of my Beck notes last night, I gave extra thought to “hunger, desire and craving”. I realize that I am seldom hungry. Before starting to use Beck, I ate mostly by the clock... habits from childhood, work life, etc.

I also realized that I don’t often have an actual craving for a specific food. Sometimes my body tells me that it needs protein, and I keep hard-boiled eggs on hand most of the time, because one is very satisfying. Very occasionally, I do crave a specific food, but not urgently enough to go get it. Sometimes a mild craving will last for days or weeks, like “I would really like a good burger with fries onions”. Sometimes I end up making myself one (no bun, extra-lean beef), but often I just forget about it.

That leaves “desire” or maybe I should say “DESIRE” because its’s STRONG! I want to eat, and it doesn’t really matter what. This is almost never in the morning, occasionally in the afternoon, when fruit or a Fibre One bar satisfies me, but frequently at night, especially if I am downstairs, watching a movie with Peter. Downstairs = easy access to fridge or pantry.

I try hard to stop eating between 8 and 9 p.m. I use Intermittent fasting as well as Beck, eating all my food between 12 noon and 8, or 1 and 9. My go-to option after dinner is 1/2 cup Greek yogurt with 1/2 cup blueberries, 1/3 cup bran buds and a sprinkle of salted sunflower seeds. This is filling, tops up my fibre for the day, and has healthy fat and carbs.

Writing a food plan for the next day each evening helps a lot. My journal has facing pages for each day... left page is plan, right page is actual for food, work, water, exercise and steps.

Edited by: MARITIMER3 at: 12/23/2019 (23:27)

Thank you, Kriszta, for explaining your plan to get through the holidays successfully, while avoiding certain foods which your daughter cannot have. I really enjoy baking, but this year am quite happy to give away most of what I have baked. I've kept about 2 dozen shortbreads and one loaf pan size light fruit cake, part of which will probably be frozen.

A tree decorated with bonbons would be beautiful, but very tempting! We have 2 trees, one in the living room, the other in the family room. The living room tree is decorated with ornaments Peter and I gathered over the years before we knew each other, including lots from both of our parents, so many are at least 75 years old. The second tree is decorated with ornaments we've collected together, many from vacation trips.

My daughter from Amsterdam will be with us from December 28-31, including Siobhan's birthday dinner on the 29th. Dorothy is a vegan, but when she is travelling she eats a vegetarian diet. She loves to cook, and I know she will introduce me to some new recipes.
I feel calm and in control... I do my meal plan each evening and follow it at least 95% accurately, rarely going over my SP calorie range. I will write my plans for the 24th, 25th and 26 tomorrow, allowing myself a couple of little treats, and will fill 50% of my plate with vegetables, not having any breads, and only a tiny bit of the Christmas pudding which Siobhan is making. I can do this.

I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas, and a happy, healthy 2020.

Congrats to the two good days, Gail!
That's a great accomplishment in the festive food environment.
Let good habits take over!

This year we are not baking cookies.
Daughter has insulin resistance so can't have sugar and flour,
and I committed to not eat any either to sustain my peace of mind - it is easier this way.
In the past 2 years son learned from MIL how to make her amazing poppy seed / walnut rolls, but he is so busy in his first job he gave up on his plans.
I purchased sugar free rolls for daughter (and will have one slice myself too), for rest of the family I bought 2 walnut and 2 poppy seed rolls.

In the past we used to decorate the Christmas tree with traditional bonbons wrapped in fancy paper, 4-5 ponds or so, seriously... now it will be 14 marzipan bonbons - enough! : )

I have been doing well in the past 2 weeks, it really helps that I refrain from sugar and flour, plan my meals in writing and measure my food. Feels great!

After a couple of rough days, I’ve been back on track the last 2, and proud of myself. Lots of temptations around. Today I made 2 batches of nuts & bolts, three cakes and a big pan of shortbread. Most of these are for gifts, the rest have been put away without any sampling.

Tonight, for no real reason, while I was getting dinner ready, I ate a slice of left-over cold pizza. It didn't even taste especially good. I'd had a busy day, and was tired, which may have contributed to the slip-up. Good reminder to myself that I have to avoid spontaneous eating, and stick to the meal plan I've written down.

Adjusted the rest of the day and stayed within calorie count.

Edited by: MARITIMER3 at: 12/18/2019 (07:20)

SUZYB53, Thanks so much for your support and encouragement! I'm actually at the point where I'd like to just quit everything, but, obviously, that's not an option. Our situation has been going on long enough that I finally need some sort of "victory" that I'm responsible for by my choices. I certainly allowed myself to breathe when I really needed it. There are times when life is just to heavy to bare, beyond our limits. All my family, besides my kids and husband, has died. Even caring for my mom for a year with her cancer doesn't compare to my challenges now. My point being we sometimes need to allow ourselves to go with the flow and not beat ourselves up. Sometimes the self care is to just do things that are not more stressful! We can only handle so much! I'm just at the crossroads that I need victory in this area in my life, for my own health, to help pull me out of the abyss. Your are so right that the wrong path is not inevitable. Life and weight loss is a journey, and on the journey, we keep moving, but sometimes we need to take a pit stop and rest for a few (especially with life altering circumstances) to tarry back on the road.

Today I will:
- stay within SP range for calories, fat, protein, carbs, fibre and salt
- walk a minimum of 7500 steps
- ST for 10-15 minutes
- do crafts with Aria after school
- drink 8 cups water, some cold, some warm with lemon juice
- clean living room and family; company coming for lunch tomorrow

and I will have a great day... hope you do too!

Trina. I admire your determination and courage. I hear you saying that eating to get through hard times doesn't make you a bad person. That is so true. But it's also wonderful that you know that making good choices, even in bad situations, is another way to take care of yourself. That's what I keep telling myself. Even if I make many bad choices, the wrong path is not inevitable. I've been dealing wit family health problems - which is my context for using food in a way that doesn't feel very good. But I'm not beating myself up. I know that I'll feel better if I exercise more control and fool myself less. I admire that you can even think about starting Beck's book at the same time you are dealing with so many other things. I am cheering you and your husband on in everything.

I apologize for being absent. Life has been extremely challenging, and I just needed a focus on getting through the deep deep waters. While things are still challenging, and it's going to be awhile until my family gets back up on our feet, I can't continue letting those challenges get in the way of my goals.

I'm starting the Pink book today. I really should've been telling myself NO CHOICE during these challenging times, instead of emotional and stress eating. I've been eating whatever and whenever I want, and mainly carbs. Carbs soothe when you're extremely stressed, and lots of times only what's available to eat anyways as it's cheap. I never thought I'd have to live week to week on just a few dollars, and then the emotional ups and downs for great job potentials for my husband only not to get it in the end. I can't tell you how hard that was, when a promising job comes along with great pay, and then hear you didn't get the job. It's such an emotional rollercoaster. I've leaned to never get my hopes up. We are still looking for a better paying job. This one still doesn't meet our needs.

I can't wait to get my health on track. I'll be posting the daily diet tips.
of a 4 week plan.

Walked 3 miles yesterday while in Toronto to see performance of Anastasia. Lunch at a burger restaurant, but chose a salmon burger, and limited the toppings... total 400 calories.

Heading home after a great visit with my daughter and her family. Will weigh in tomorrow morning.

Wow, Gail, it sounds amazing, I'm happy for you!

Thanks, Susan. I don’t know where this happy, confident person came from, but I like her a lot!
Hugs, Gail

Gail, great achievement in a very challenging situation! You definitely deserve to feel proud of yourself!

Today I sat around the big island in my daughter’s kitchen with Jenn & her husband, my two adult grandsons, and their wives/girlfriends while chicken was cooking on the bbq and potatoes were baking inside.

There were 2 dishes of Christmas chocolates on the island, a big bowl of potato chips, a bowl of machos and two different kinds of salsa... and I sat there quite happily and comfortably, and didn’t eat even one thing... AND IT WAS EASY!

My granddaughter-in-law brought bacon-wrapped water chestnuts, which I knew ahead she was bringing, and I allowed myself 3 pieces and 4 oz. of white wine before switching to soda water. I tracked every bite I ate all day, and was under my calories etc. for the day.

I didn’t believe I could resist all that food... but I did... and I didn’t feel at all deprived, or envious because others were eating, One day at a time, I’m making my new lifestyle... and I’m proud of myself.


Edited by: MARITIMER3 at: 12/8/2019 (01:42)

Suzy, a pat on the back for resisting the “prize winning ice cream”. That would have been a big temptation for me.

Kriszta, good job handling the buffet.

I started Weight Watchers online and am still learning the ropes, but I am already seeing some loss and feeling better. I was heading in the wrong direction and decided I needed to do something different. It feels like a fresh start, and I am experiencing the motivation that comes with a fresh start.

Congratulations, Kriszta, on handling difficult situations without going very far off your planned eating. Remember... it's not about being perfect 100% of the time,.. and you got back on track quickly. Hope your son's ankle is better soon.

Suzy it is great you were able to see through irrational thoughts about food shopping, despite the cunning commercial tricks designed to "help" you believe them!


I was absent because life got in the way, the year end appraisals with members of my group went well, they are all competent and enthusiastic workers, but still it takes a lot of mental energy to prepare well, and to make the discussions really helpful..
Then after work, MIL's injections.
On Wednesday I worked from home, in the afternoon I desired unplanned food, ate a few bites standing in the kitchen... them struggled with cravings all day, and gave in several times, without using anti craving techniques.
On Thursday son sprained his ankle, and I had to go pick him up, driving in heavy traffic. Of course I gave in to desire to eat, but -interestingly- only ate a very small amount.
On Friday it was company year end party, and that's a high risk situation for me.
I dislike all gatherings larger than 5-6 people (noise, distractions, unstructured social situations), food was served buffet style and menu was not announced ahead of time.
BUT -interestingly again- I made very good choices, actually I think I ate less than my normal dinner, without any struggles. Perhaps because vegetarian options were rather limited, or because I was very aware of risks of going off track?
Anyway, I'm glad it went well!



Edited by: KRISZTA11 at: 11/30/2019 (04:15)

I agree completely. If I don’t make written meal and work plans every evening, I easily go off track.

I'm glad to see others have been in communication and supportive. I haven't been too dedicated since we finished the book. But I am continuing to try to recognize sabotaging thoughts, just say "no," and stick to my daily tasks.

Today I was doing some last minute shopping for Thanksgiving. I DID NOT use the excuse that I would get free parking if I spent $40 as a reason to buy a dish of a special kind of ice cream. Nor, did I use the excuse that it was a "prize winning" ice cream. I did come home and have snack that I had neglected to build in for myself earlier in the name. This is all a good reminder that any time I neglect to plan, I am in serious danger of slipping.

Susan, enjoy the Fall 5% challenge!
I'm happy to hear the support of your Beck buddy was so helpful.

Gail, wow, that's a brilliant way to enjoy ice cream - wise of you that you ate it upstairs, reducing risk of wanting more. Preemptive use of anti craving technique, great!

Last night I did well too. Had a good plan and stuck to it.
I cooked a delicious chickpeas recipe, with dried tomatoes, onion slices, garlic,oregano, parsley, lemon), family loved it.

Edited by: KRISZTA11 at: 11/24/2019 (04:55)

I am working hard to learn to eat like a thin person. Today my husband was having an ice cream sundae... whipped cream, chocolate sauce, coconut and a cherry.

I allowed myself to eat one-half cup of the same ice cream... burgundy cherry. 180 calories, but I enjoyed every tiny spoonful, and I am well within my daily calorie, fat and carbs count.

I wasn't able, however, to eat it downstairs with my husband... I'm not that strong yet. I brought mine upstairs so that i wouldn't be tempted to have more.

The Fae, Gail, and Kriszta, you have all been doing a good job dealing with issues, staying in control, or getting back in control. I am impressed...especially impressed with the Fudge Control!

I haven’t been posting much here lately because I have been doing the Fall 5% weight loss challenge, and some sub challenges within that challenge, and my Spark time has been taken up there. Today is the start of week 8 (last week) of the weight loss challenge, and then I will have more time for Beck.

I have been Spark mailing with my Beck Buddy almost daily though and she is an angel who provides great support and motivation, and the daily reporting helps me be accountable.

Have a great weekend!

@THE_FAE it was a wise decision to throw away the fudge, and not an easy thing to do! Lots of credit for that.
The pattern of eating a small amount of unplanned food first, then a little more, then it is too hard to resist... the same for me! Your positive and powerful response inspires me to do the same.

Gail, you did great at the restaurant, and I'm glad you had a great time.
Excess sodium is unavoidable when eating out.
I don't like salt, and I don't add any to my meals (unless I'm cooking for family, when I grudgingly do). So restaurant meals are instant overdose for me, puffy eyes, swollen ankles and 3-4 extra pounds guaranteed for the next morning! But my body gets rid of extra salt and water in 24 hours, and I rarely eat out, so I guess it is OK.

My ankle is still not 100%. I refrained from all exercise and driving for 4 days. Driving is still not OK but I can do gentle yoga and short walks - what a relief!
I'm grumpy if I'm sentenced to be sedentary.
It is time of year end appraisals at work, and i have a year end review meeting every day, it is nice because my people do a great job but still a lot of mental energy. Plus I go to MIL after work to administer her subcutaneous injection (2 more weeks to go!).
I eat well all day, but some days after dinner I feel "I need something more". Usually I can dismiss that thought and move on. Last night I didn't, and ate a small amount X from husband's stash. A powerful trigger food for me, but managed to stop after 2 small portions. Partial credit to me for that!