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TRESSA48's Photo TRESSA48 Posts: 7,233
6/14/09 7:27 A

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Sorry I've been MIA. I am so proud of all of you for hanging in there and supporting and encouraging each other. This is why I think SP is the best healthy lifestyle website around. Have a great day, team.

Tee - Maine

BLC Admin

BLC42 - Navy Ninjas Co-captain

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

blcnavyninjas1.weebly.com/


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IM-SO-WORTH-IT's Photo IM-SO-WORTH-IT Posts: 1,441
6/12/09 9:51 A

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You people are amazing! One discouraging comment, and so much positive support. I know that my cousin is not trying to undermine me (not consciously). I am pretty sure that she is trying to make excuses for herself and needs me to fail so that she can validate her excuse. The problem is I don't get discouraged, I get stubborn and determined to acheive what I was told was not possible. As for her plans, I believe Manderses' mother said it best - things don't always turn out they way you planned!

Bev

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-control.
II Timothy 1:7


TRILLA09's Photo TRILLA09 Posts: 161
6/9/09 12:32 A

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You are only old if you think you are! I am a very young 60 and I know that it took a while to put this extra weight on, and will take a bit of time to loose it. My parents often warned me not to expect too much, and that is what I did..expected not too much. I said I would not be like that, but at times I still hear my mom or dad pop out of my mouth, to my children and grandkids, but also to myself. Recognizing that this is just negative talk helps take the power to hurt out of it. By voicing our feelings we start to overcome. We are the ones to help each other get past the negatives. When we add God into the mix it gets even better!

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KATERYN's Photo KATERYN Posts: 670
6/8/09 8:47 A

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43. You're a youngster. I'm 53 and I'm trying to lose 150 pounds. I know it will take me longer is all. I have to overcome the pain in my joins most mornings to haul a out of bed to get to the gym. If I can start doing this at my age - you at 10 years younger can do it also! It may take me all of two years or three years to lose it - but I'm going to keep plugging away at it.

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MANDERSES's Photo MANDERSES Posts: 71
6/7/09 10:30 P

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Oh gosh. When my mom was alive her favorite response to me about anything I planned: "Things don't always turn out the way you plan."

I wanted to be a vet. "Things don't always turn out the way you plan." I wanted to save up for a car. "Things don't always turn out the way you plan." I wanted to get into A&M college. "Things don't always turn out the way you plan." I wanted to cook dinner. "Things don't always turn out the way you plan."

Hehe. I loved my mother, but I'm not sorry to lose all the downers.

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STRINGBEANA's Photo STRINGBEANA Posts: 24
6/7/09 8:04 P

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YIKES!!!!
I WISH I COULD TELL YOU HOW "NOT" TO CARRY THE "WEIGHT" OF YOUR COUSINS WORDS AROUND!!! I "FEEL" EVERY THING PEOPLE SAY!!! ONE THING THAT DOES HELP IS TO CONSIDER THE SOURCE!!! I DON'T THINK SHE IS HAPPY, SHE PROBABLY FEELS THE ONLY WAY SHE CAN LOSE WEIGHT IS THROUGH SURGERY,
AND I DON'T THINK SHE'LL DO THAT OVER AND OVER, YOU HOWEVER WILL BE ABLE TO MANAGE THE "LITTLE" SLIP UPS BECAUSE YOU'VE DONE IT THE HARD WORK WAY, THE "EASY" WAY IS SOMETIMES JUST THAT.... A QUICK...UNSUSTAINABLE FIX!!!
SHE WILL BE AMAZED BY YOUR INNER STRENGTH!!! IT'S IN THERE! YOU CAN FIND IT WITHOUT A SHARP KNIFE!!! OR A VACUUM!!! YUCK!!!

CD5178852 Posts: 5,277
6/5/09 4:09 P

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Great advise SP Class! I agree that some people don't want you to improve while they languish behind and others don't want you to be disappointed if you 'fail'.

I have some wonderful family members in my corner and they are SP'ers too! My sister and my daughter were members long before I knew what Spark People was. I'm not bragging that I have supporter... I'm just counting my blessings.
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DOITNOW49's Photo DOITNOW49 SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 114
6/5/09 11:49 A

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You've been getting some good responses-- I used to get that kind of thing all the time, especially (but not just) from my ex-it is toxic. Now I don't listen to that from anyone, & don't keep people in my life who talk to me like that. Besides, usually it's all about them- they are threatened or jealous or rehearsing the excuses they make to themselves for not doing what you're doing.

A far as 43 goes, well, just go through some of the success stories here- they aren't just 20-somethings losing weight. You know it is possible, even if it can be tougher. You're strong for being here & tackling it- many don't even try.

"Don't be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of."

"Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired."


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IM-SO-WORTH-IT's Photo IM-SO-WORTH-IT Posts: 1,441
6/5/09 9:56 A

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Mothers can be that way. I'm glad you have a positive attitude about it. We all have to put up with our Mom's little quirks.
Sometime's I think mine is trying to kill me. I have a severe allergy to bananas, and everytime I go to her house, she offers me one! Then I remind myself that she has 5 kids all with allergies, and several grandkids, and great-grandkids that also have allergies. It's no surprise that she can't remember who is allergic to what.


Bev

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-control.
II Timothy 1:7


OHATTY1213's Photo OHATTY1213 Posts: 23
6/2/09 1:12 P

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My mother does a similar thing. She acts supportive but is always offering me desserts and trying to get me to eat high calorie foods. She acts annoyed when I tell her that I can't do something because I have to work out. She is the same way about saving money - always encouraging me to spend even though I am in a negative cash flow at the moment. It gets very frustrating, but I just grin and bear it as I have my entire life.

Keep steadily before you the fact that all true success depends at last upon yourself.
Theodore T. Hunger


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HELENA_H's Photo HELENA_H Posts: 71
6/2/09 9:40 A

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She probably did not mean it like that. Maybe she just wanted to keep you from being disappointed?

Goal List:

85 kg - pedicure and facial
80 kg - new haircolour
75 kg - new dress
70 kg - more new clothes
65 kg - day in a spa
60 kg - so happy I don't even need anything to reward myself :)


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PATTK1220's Photo PATTK1220 SparkPoints: (66)
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Posts: 8,163
5/31/09 10:15 P

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You have to be your own best friend. Dump the people who want to drag you down. You can still love them, but you can't trust their advice. It's hard, but it's in your interest ... not theirs.

Patt in Minneapolis
Leader, Forks Over Knives & Engine 2 Diet
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't understand why asking people to eat a well-balanced vegetarian diet is considered drastic, while it is medically conservative to cut people open and put them on cholesterol lowering drugs for the rest of their lives. ~Dean Ornish

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. That's why they call it the present. ~Eleanor Roosevelt


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IM-SO-WORTH-IT's Photo IM-SO-WORTH-IT Posts: 1,441
5/31/09 3:02 P

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Thanks Stephme and Granijani. I appreciate your positive support.
I know that others out there might encounter some of those discouraging supporters along their path to a healthier life-style, and I hope that they will vent it in a positive forum like this instead of letting it eat at them and pull them down. Sometimes it helps to know that others encounter similiar situations, and also find support from individuals like yourself. Here's to keeping POSITIVE and on the right track!

Bev

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-control.
II Timothy 1:7


GRANIJANI's Photo GRANIJANI SparkPoints: (10,464)
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5/31/09 1:59 P

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I am so lucky, I don't have anyone in my life at this time that says negative things to me. At one time my self esteem was so bad because of negative comments, but I don't have that person around me anymore. I hope you can continue to not be affected by your cousins attitude. Remember SP has many good articles to back you up!!!

Janice SW Washington

"Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm."
~Sir Winston Churchill

"Therefore, the main "enemy" of motivation is the tendency to see yourself as the hapless victim of forces (or urges) over which you have no control." Dean Anderson
SparkPeople



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STEPHME's Photo STEPHME Posts: 181
5/31/09 11:53 A

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I am lucky, at this advanced age, to have dumped all the downer people in my life. So I get helpful support when I ask for it.

I have dealt with folks like your cousin and decided life is too short to be bothered. I have eliminated the people who bring me down. It wasn't easy and sometimes I miss those folks. Don't ask me why though, cuz I don't know. They really were more hindrance than help.

SW:375
GW: 250
CW:369.5

Go Blue Bulls!


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IM-SO-WORTH-IT's Photo IM-SO-WORTH-IT Posts: 1,441
5/31/09 11:49 A

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Has anyone else had some one try to discourage them while been supportive? Go ahead and vent a tad (without vulgarities!)

My experience: My discouraging supporter is my cousin who was extremely overweight, and lost 85 lbs the fast way (liposuction) two years ago, has regained a good portion of it back. I was telling her about spark people, and my goal to loose weight. We started to reminisce about our skinny days, and she was quick to point out that I will never get that skinny again because of hormones (I'm 43). I told her that I didn't want to get back to that weight point (I was underweight due to illness at the time), but I hope to reach a healthy point around 130 - 140 (The weight that I was healthiest at). She actually told me told me I would have to be "GOD" to accomplish that because of my age and hormonal changes. My thoughts this morning - I won't let her failures pull me down. I can acheive a healthy weight, and loose 90-100lbs off this obese body, and I don't have to be God. (Though I wouldn't turn down his support!)
Ahhh! I feel better now emoticon

Bev

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-control.
II Timothy 1:7


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