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CARDIOQUEEN82's Photo CARDIOQUEEN82 Posts: 1,481
12/20/19 10:35 A

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After just three days of abstinence I am feeling better emotionally and mentally. By keeping track of my food, exercise, and sleep, I've been able to keep myself accountable, and by tracking what I've been feeling, I've been able to process much more quickly and resolve problems.

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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
3/11/19 12:24 P

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OA works!!

I received some professional feedback today. Last year before I was sober I would have felt this as a personal attack, I would not have accepted it in anyway professionally. Today, I was professional on the phone, and was able to remind myself that I am a good interpreter and not everyone is a match for every situation- this does not make me less than.

My depression is bad- it peaks in ways where I can't really function. However, this program is helping me through, I'm keeping sober and I'm able to listen to and follow my Gods guidance. I'm so grateful for this.

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
3/2/19 5:28 P

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My depression is really hitting today. I started a new med and I hope it starts working soon, I'm going on about a month of this depression. Denial is a bad skill I have, it went longer than it needed to.

By the grace of the Gods I am sober and getting through the day. It is hard and nothing that isn't possible no to do ie: work, shower, etc. I'm even pushing my adorable babies away- it is so bad. I have faith that the Gods will get me through this. I know they love me and always take care of me, I just have to listen and follow their guidance. I will get through this. I will be able to feel happy, and grateful again-- the chemicals in my body just need to be fixed so I can access what I know I truly feel.



Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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JANINE8969's Photo JANINE8969 SparkPoints: (13,317)
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11/6/18 5:30 A

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I am so glad the operation went well and I will say prayers for her.

Janine


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
10/22/18 12:04 P

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I just got a text letting me know that the operation went well. I feel like every bone in my body just released so much tension. I'm so grateful!

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
10/22/18 11:51 A

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My feelings and thoughts are all over the place. I'm so grateful that my sister is receiving a liver today. I'm sad that some one had to pass on for her to live. I'm worried that she will not continue to take care of herself. I'm worried that she will drink again. I'm worried that as her life is still not perfect that she won't continue to take care of herself. I know that I have no control of her or what she does. I can only be there for her as I can. I love her and don't want to lose her. She is my sister and an amazing person. I pray she gets well in all aspects, physically, mentally, emotionally.

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
10/19/18 4:49 P

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Busy today at work, had a busy week-- but its good-- keeps me out of trouble (food)

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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JANINE8969's Photo JANINE8969 SparkPoints: (13,317)
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10/17/18 10:52 A

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Can't wait to dive into my Positive manifestation books again!

Janine


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
10/10/18 9:23 A

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So happy, content. So happy Im on this vacation even better than I thought

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
10/7/18 11:45 A

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Journaling this morning I realized that I am worried about my trip, I was reminded that I don't have control of what will happen, but no matter what it is in my best interest. I'm so grateful to know that no matter what happens the Gods will take care of me if I listen and follow their guidance.

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
10/6/18 3:44 P

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Sad and cranky today, not sure why

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
10/5/18 1:44 P

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I'm happy that I had a nice vacation with my mom's visit. I'm excited to go on my Spa vacation with my friend on Monday :-)

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
10/1/18 1:36 P

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I am establishing boundaries for my life. I am worth being treated well.

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
9/30/18 12:20 P

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I'm apprehensive about starting a book that my therapist recommended that I read. It is about BPD, I just ended a relationship with someone who has this. I'm scared of what I will learn about myself -- but I have faith that it will ultimately help me to be my best self.

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
9/29/18 1:25 P

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I'm grateful to be on Spark and the OA team today, I had a few days off-line for various reasons.

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
9/24/18 2:25 P

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Struggling with sadness today. Not sure why- but I'm grateful that this feeling will pass.

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
9/21/18 12:21 P

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I'm struggling with my food. I haven't broken my sobriety-- thanks to my HP. But, the thought has been there. I know that it is a lie that I will feel better eating.

So much has happened, a difficult break-up. My sponsor let me go. I haven't been getting to meetings, or talking to people. Getting through the day is a huge struggle most days.

Help, I need help-- I don't know what kind but something. I'm feeling lost and alone.

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
9/17/18 11:38 A

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I know things will get better. I feel a little better today. It will take time and I can process these feeling without food.

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
9/16/18 12:03 P

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Feeling sad, thoughts are running over and over about my relationship and the break up

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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JANINE8969's Photo JANINE8969 SparkPoints: (13,317)
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9/11/18 8:51 A

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I had clinical depression way before I started the program but because this program does share our feelings of this disease.....it can show you an extension of depression. Maybe where you need to trace back to....to understand

Janine


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
8/21/18 1:07 P

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Has anyone experience clinical depression when starting the 12 step program?

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
8/15/18 1:24 P

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Hi, what video do you watch?

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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KNIT1PURL2LOSE3 Posts: 977
8/15/18 9:57 A

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Yes, I have felt that way. I have also found the way to stop that negative down spiral loop in my head.

There is a marvelous 8 minute video that puts me in the right frame of mind every morning.

Sending you hugs.

Please contact me if I can help.

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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
8/12/18 1:30 P

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I'm not use if I am the only person to feel this way. But, today I just don't want to exist. I not suicidal or anything, I simply don't want to exist. Has anyone else ever felt this way?

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
8/11/18 11:19 A

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Hi, I am glad to know I am not alone. This disease is so isolating- it is hard to stop eating and get out. Welcome back Janine and Welcome to everyone- we can heal together. It is weakness not strength that get us to heal together.

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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JANINE8969's Photo JANINE8969 SparkPoints: (13,317)
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8/11/18 8:15 A

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No you are not and that is why I am here today. To make the comittment to keep coming here everyday. I was looking at my email and had seen a post KNOWING I should have been here August 1st posting and keeping up my end of the bargain. Not just for the group but for myself. I kept asking myself....you are part of your success on Sparkpeople and your not even showing up Janine. So.....I am HERE and you are not alone! I appreciate you carry the group as you have and it wasn't fair for me not to meet you halfway. I AM HERE. It has been on my mind everyday and I am not making any excuses not to show up!

Janine


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
8/9/18 10:38 A

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Im feeling very alone on our team. I hope that my post are helping someone. I wonder if I should keep posting. Am I really alone in this??

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
8/4/18 1:53 P

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Feeling sad today. I know that my life is very blessed, I am making positive changes. It is so hard to get past the depression. I hope my meds get fixed soon, it's hard to feel this way all the time.

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
8/3/18 11:56 A

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I'm grateful to be slowing down in my food changes. I have taken it slowly, First I got rid of fast food and alcohol in April. Mid- July I added all junk food. Trying to change everything at once was too overwhelming. With a lot of pray I realized that slower is better for me.

I pray you all find your best approach to conquer this disease with your HP. Im so grateful to mine, I could NOT do this with our their support.

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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UNSUREPAT's Photo UNSUREPAT Posts: 1,445
8/1/18 10:04 A

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Working on walking the steps .Lifting all of u team to HP..

August first already, how times flies. just seems like spring and now summer is almost over. .Been .going to PH and doing wonder for my leg. I have been going twice a week for month now and it showed me that I have to do things with more care making sure I don.t over do. It is improving but I want to get everything done right now. I know I can do this, but I.m impatience.Just like with the weight, didn't come on slowly so it won't come off quickly, but I am sticking with it and will achieve success. More slowly then I would like but in the end I will get there. Food is going good and improving every day. slow and steady is my way. Pat

There is power in well-chosen words, and often there is equal power in silence. Learning when to talk and when to listen are among the most powerful skills you can develop.
Sharon Anthony Bower


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
7/25/18 11:03 A

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Thank you Sophia. How are you today?

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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SOPHIALARA's Photo SOPHIALARA Posts: 958
7/25/18 10:57 A

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Hope you're feeling better, KP. We all have something that troubles us, and HP is the answer! My thoughts are with you today :)




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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
7/23/18 11:38 A

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Im struggling with depression and OA. But I keep taking one step at a time. I know with my HP I will get through this

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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SOPHIALARA's Photo SOPHIALARA Posts: 958
7/23/18 12:39 A

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After a long while away from OA, I'm so grateful to be back. This program is such a life-changer. I've been listening to podcasts on oasfvalley.org. There are so many resources for us now, more than ever before. I heard this little gem: We're always being told to be willing to get abstinent. But this member shared that her sponsor told her that "abstinence begets willingness.' In other words, put the plug in the jug and get abstinent! That really spoke to me, because I keep waiting for some miracle to strike me abstinent. It takes work! And so, I'm working the program: staying in touch with my sponsor every day, making phone calls, planning my food, finding what my bottom-line abstinence is, praying and meditating, working the steps, going to meetings. It sounds like a lot, but it's really simple, and so much easier than being in the food. Think I'll stick around to see the miracle!

Edited by: SOPHIALARA at: 7/23/2018 (00:45)



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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
7/22/18 2:40 P

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One good thing about my current depression- I really don't want to eat much. I'm grateful to have been sober- no junk food- for 3 days, Gods willing today will be 4 days.

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
7/6/18 1:30 P

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I'm happy to know that I am not giving up, and that I am starting to see the changes in my attitude. I'm much calmer and able to handle situations with the guidance of my HP.

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
7/2/18 3:36 P

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I'm glad you are posting again.

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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JANINE8969's Photo JANINE8969 SparkPoints: (13,317)
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7/2/18 3:08 P

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I am definitely holding myself accountable for the poor food choices I have made/making. Time to get back on track and making it a first priority since I tend to put myself usually last.

Janine


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 5,087
7/1/18 1:30 P

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I find turning my life over to a HP and having a food plan- it seems like these are contradictory to me. Still learning.

Kelly, Gratefully recovered Addict


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SOPHIALARA's Photo SOPHIALARA Posts: 958
6/18/18 12:25 A

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So interesting to read this post. I am certainly a full-blown compulsive overeater. Here I am, 12 years later, and I'm up at least 10 pounds from when i started this team. I've been out doing some more research. But, I know that the 12 Steps are the only way I can find any recovery from this disease. I'm so grateful for the 12 Steps and OA, my higher power, whom I call God, and for the fellowship. This is where I meet people who "speak my language: the language of the heart." I'll be coming back for sure!





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GLENNARAE's Photo GLENNARAE Posts: 1,495
10/17/06 11:58 P

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Hello Lara,
I would love to add you as my friend, but you have to create a Profile first in order for me to do that. Don't give up, dear friend, I'll be here for you. Create your profile.

Glenna-Rae
emoticon

)

..*) .*)

(. (. * GlennaRae



Slow and steady is the pace, if I am going to win this race.



To thine own self be true.







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SOPHIALARA's Photo SOPHIALARA Posts: 958
9/15/06 11:34 A

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Wow! Today's entry under "Abstinence" is pretty awesome, especially for me. It is a reminder that things do get better regarding my eating and keeping my abstinence. Today is day 3 of a continued abstince. I feel very positive and connected to my Higher Power thanks to this Spark Team and the people on it, few though we are!




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SOPHIALARA's Photo SOPHIALARA Posts: 958
9/8/06 10:30 A

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As I typed the message from "For Today", i felt a little guilty because my recovery is still so shaky. Some days I do so well, (thanks be to God!) and other days I am a complete failure. The past 2 days I have found abstinence and it is such a wonderful gift. My attitude changes completely and no matter what happens (such as a huge argument with my husband!), I don't eat over it! I don't even want to, and therein lies the miracle. As they say at the end of each OA meeting: "Keep coming back. It works!"




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SOPHIALARA's Photo SOPHIALARA Posts: 958
9/5/06 11:40 P

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I have been having a hard time sticking to my food plan lately. I think it's because I run into a problem during the day (or night) and right away I turn to food instead of turning to God. I get into a mood where I really just don't care if I'm overeating. And then, of course, I feel bad because I've undone at least 3 days of good solid abstinence. Well, I'm not going to beat myself up over it. Tomorrow's a new day. Thank God.




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SOPHIALARA's Photo SOPHIALARA Posts: 958
9/1/06 10:58 A

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The "For Today" message was interesting for me because I really don't have but one friend in OA! My closest friend is in Alanon, so she practices the Twelve Steps and so we have that in common. Truly I believe the world would be a better place if everyone were to go through the 12 Steps at least once in their lives. The Steps are compatible with any religion, even an atheist can follow them, using the group as a "Higher Power". Anyway, I hope that whoever reads this will add me as their friend on their Spark Page! Then, I know that I may have a friend in OA besides my sponsor, who now lives in the Netherlands!




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SOPHIALARA's Photo SOPHIALARA Posts: 958
8/31/06 11:30 A

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I am powerless over this disease of overeating. Only with the strength that comes from God can I overcome this disease. Yesterday I binged. I didn't ask for God's strength. I just wanted to feel full. My stomach felt hollow. I didn't care that I was undoing 2 days of being hungry and losing 2 pounds. All I wanted was to feel full.

Today is a new day and I put myself into your hands, God. Do with me what You will. May Thy Will be done, not mine! Amen.




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SOPHIALARA's Photo SOPHIALARA Posts: 958
8/30/06 10:32 A

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The "For Today" message was significant for me today, because I have been abstinent for 2 days now. What does abstinence mean for me? It means that I have kept to my allotment of 1200 calories and that I have not binged by doing so. Granted, it is hard to binge when keeping to 1200 calories, but it can be done!

Anyway, I am leaving my old ways of eating behind, and yes, it can be frightening in a way. I find comfort in food, hence I eat much more than my body needs. I am afraid that I won't have enough. This is an emotional feeling, because intellectually I know very well that 1200 calories a day is more than some people get in countries where they are starving.


And so, I will trust that God will take me through this day and support me in my endeaver to gain a healthier lifestyle.


Edited by: SOPHIALARA at: 8/30/2006 (10:33)



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