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JANINE8969's Photo JANINE8969 SparkPoints: (13,317)
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6/27/17 9:03 A

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Wishing everyone a blessed day!

Edited by: JANINE8969 at: 6/27/2017 (09:05)
Janine


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6/26/17 8:58 A

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I think its because you are looking forward to doing something fun and new. When they cancel, its a disappointment because deep down...you aren't that way. You like to keep you scheduled dates for fun and there is nothing wrong with that. Remember that we keep doing only what we have been doing. Next time you reach for something to eat if someone or something is disappointing you, call your Sponsor. You can make a sticky on the fridge or on the box or thing your reach for the most. I don't think you look to people to fulfill your happiness. I think you look to people for genuine friendship. Trust me, you will find people. Love yourself. You are the best friend to you and you are never alone with your Higher Power.

Janine


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CANDY58's Photo CANDY58 Posts: 18,578
6/23/17 7:25 A

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Well I was able to stick to my action plan for 2 days.
I get so discouraged and hurt when I have plans to meet up with someone and they have had to cancel. This happened to me 2 times this week. I understand that stuff happens but it still hurts as I don't make friends easy and the ones I have are special. So yesterday instead of calling someone from my OA group I went and got snack items to make me feel better. Why do I keep doing this? Why do I expect others to make me feel good about myself.
Oh well today is a new day-hoping it goes better for me.
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Candy
MN- Central time


I am an intellingent person. I will control my emotions and not let my emotions control me. Everytime I am tempted to use food to satisfy my frustrated desires, build up my enjured ego or dull my senses, I will remember...even though I overeat in private, my excess poundage is there for all the world to see.
I will take off pounds sensibly!


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CANDY58's Photo CANDY58 Posts: 18,578
6/20/17 7:33 A

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Had my O.A. meeting last night and the topic was "Action Plan" I make a plan most days but it seems to fall apart when I return home from work. I get negative vibs most days when I get home. I try to please my husband and it doesn't work most days I am always doing something wrong according to him. This put me into an emotional state and I turn to food to take care of me.
I am making a new action plan- This week I will make a daily action plan- writing down my food plan, writing down things that I need to do that day, call a friend, exercise, take time for myself. I am hoping I can do this and that it helps me out this week. emoticon




Candy
MN- Central time


I am an intellingent person. I will control my emotions and not let my emotions control me. Everytime I am tempted to use food to satisfy my frustrated desires, build up my enjured ego or dull my senses, I will remember...even though I overeat in private, my excess poundage is there for all the world to see.
I will take off pounds sensibly!


Total SparkPoints: 255,810
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CANDY58's Photo CANDY58 Posts: 18,578
6/19/17 7:36 A

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I had a good day yesterday considering how my days have been. I resisted the treats at church to go along with my coffee, took the dogs out for a walk. I resisted most recreational sugar I had an ice cream bar in the evening (it was calling my name from the freezer)
Today is a new day- I have my O.A. meeting tonight.

Great Monday ahead!
emoticon



Candy
MN- Central time


I am an intellingent person. I will control my emotions and not let my emotions control me. Everytime I am tempted to use food to satisfy my frustrated desires, build up my enjured ego or dull my senses, I will remember...even though I overeat in private, my excess poundage is there for all the world to see.
I will take off pounds sensibly!


Total SparkPoints: 255,810
250,000
262,499
274,999
287,499
299,999
SparkPoints Level 23
CANDY58's Photo CANDY58 Posts: 18,578
6/18/17 8:11 A

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So glad it is a new week- I have been having such a struggle with food. I think I know what is going on and it has to do with home and my feelings when I am here. Hope to get a handle on this- keep praying and working on my program.


Candy
MN- Central time


I am an intellingent person. I will control my emotions and not let my emotions control me. Everytime I am tempted to use food to satisfy my frustrated desires, build up my enjured ego or dull my senses, I will remember...even though I overeat in private, my excess poundage is there for all the world to see.
I will take off pounds sensibly!


Total SparkPoints: 255,810
250,000
262,499
274,999
287,499
299,999
SparkPoints Level 23
CANDY58's Photo CANDY58 Posts: 18,578
6/16/17 7:31 A

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I did it again- stopped at the store on my way home from work. emoticon
While I was munching away in my mind I was punishing myself for not being strong.

I went out and mowed the lawn after which was good exercise.

It is the weekend and I don't do well with them and my granddaughter comes for the weekend and we like our treats-hope I can through the weekend without too much trouble.
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Candy
MN- Central time


I am an intellingent person. I will control my emotions and not let my emotions control me. Everytime I am tempted to use food to satisfy my frustrated desires, build up my enjured ego or dull my senses, I will remember...even though I overeat in private, my excess poundage is there for all the world to see.
I will take off pounds sensibly!


Total SparkPoints: 255,810
250,000
262,499
274,999
287,499
299,999
SparkPoints Level 23
CANDY58's Photo CANDY58 Posts: 18,578
6/15/17 7:35 A

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Thank you for the tips/ information SPARKNB.
I didn't have a good day- I had a pity party- feeling sorry for myself thinking I am not worth it. I had a meeting with my AA sponsor set up for yesterday, it was rescheduled from the day before- she blew me off, no call or text to cancel so my mind went to I am not worthy, I don't matter. So after supper I went to the store and bought stuff to make me feel good, ate it all and than when my HB asked where I went I lied about it. This is sick. Now this morning I feel guilty about my behavior.

I will try do stick to my food plan today-
emoticon



Candy
MN- Central time


I am an intellingent person. I will control my emotions and not let my emotions control me. Everytime I am tempted to use food to satisfy my frustrated desires, build up my enjured ego or dull my senses, I will remember...even though I overeat in private, my excess poundage is there for all the world to see.
I will take off pounds sensibly!


Total SparkPoints: 255,810
250,000
262,499
274,999
287,499
299,999
SparkPoints Level 23
SPARKNB's Photo SPARKNB SparkPoints: (26,813)
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6/14/17 8:52 P

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Candy58:

Couple of problem-solving ideas for you: in the OA 9 tools, one of them is writing, so I am keeping a journal that tracks my feelings, but also that has a list of non-food pick-me-ups for when I'm feeling down. Still working on making that list, & I haven't had a chance to try it out, so that's not from experience.

Also, just realizing this as I write ...maybe we fetishize our chosen 'triggers'. We build them up in our minds as this great go-to comfort & think that they will make us feel better. They may be tasty & may have some *slight* mood-altering factors (like energy boosts from sweets, various hormone precursors from cacao, etc.), so they are bioactive in our bodies in a particular (& familiar) way

So 3 things: 1) we need to replicate the bioactive components with safer, less-binge-worthy foods the same mood-altering factors & build them into our food plans, maybe with the same ease as a pre-packaged sweet comes to us (ie. making ice cream is actually some work, but it's the pre-packaged nature that has some appeal in our easy-consuming society) so energy boosts like fruits, which are pretty easy, served in some seemingly indulgent, but actually healthy way (like I do strawberries with a couple of T 'nipples' of reddi-whip cream- 2T is only 15 cals), or microwave fruit 'crisp's, with no flour, nor sugar, but like a pie in my opinion, and pretty quick to whip up too); so one's biochemical cravings buzz is met

and 2) mentally un-fetishize our triggers - maybe we can practice (& practice over & over again, practice eventually makes perfect) that the bowl or bar or slice of whatever really isn't gonna make life, the universe & everything better, its just gonna be slightly pleasurable in our mouths, for a little while, & maybe, in reality, induce guilt, shame, failure, etc. other negative feelings-and it may not be that much more pleasurable/tasty than something else we enjoy but don't fetishize, so eat that

3) & lastly ...what was my original point; critically analyze the components of our triggers & replicate them in healthy manners - so for a plain chocolate bar, it might be the sweet, the taste of cocoa, & the creaminess - now nothing else is a chocolate bar, but the sweet flavor is totally on plan in fruits & some vegs (sweet potatoes, carrots, sweet corn, sweet onions, beets (where much sugar comes from, or from sugar cane, which is a treat that kids gnaw on Mexico (and sold in certain groceries in AZ)), plus molasses, which I eat both as a sweetener on some things but mostly because its high in iron, which energizes my sluggish metabolism (along with meat, leafy greens, some cereals), also stevia, or nutrasweet, etc; for the chocolate flavor there is actual cocoa. Interesting that originally, among the chocolate-discovering Aztecs, chocolate was a savory drink (try a mexican chicken mole (pron mole-eh) if you have never had one, it blew my mind, & tastebuds),

There are various chocolate-flavored things you CAN have that won't make you have to start over, because cocoa is the key part without sugar, that makes chocolate bars (+plus cocoa butter, plus maybe milk if not dark chocolate):

So various recipes (I saw one on SparkP today: 1 T sugar, 1 T flour, some cocoa w greek yogurt plus salt & baking powder, to make a 1 serving, under 100 cals brownie (your mileage may vary on those ingredients, depending on your food plan),

the point I am trying to make is find something 'safe' that DOES ring your chocolate &/or sweet chimes; it makes the binge/fall far less interesting because it's incorporated in your regular plan

Today, my real-life example, I had a yoplait "WHIP"-style yogurt in chocolate mousse flavor, that I had left overnight in the freezer, because ice cream is my BIG trigger, & this is literally frozen yogurt which rings my ice cream chimes, but is allowed in my current food plan; if it wasn't, I could make my own facsimile with plain yogurt (which I mostly eat) mixed with cocoa & something sweet like stevia or fruit. So...healthful flavor fake-outs for my old trigger foods list is something else I need to journal.

Hope this is somewhat helpful. I think I'm gonna re-blog this...

Edited by: SPARKNB at: 6/14/2017 (21:33)
Looking forward to make the Roaring 20's the best decade!! Making it happen!!! Motivation into momentum.
My words-of-the-year: *SMART* (goals) & *evolve* (2018 was persist, 2019 was: *eMbody KIND(/ness) &/ =balance= )

My 2020 goal is TRACKING FOOD to result in a loss of 100 pounds (so 111.20 on ticker, started year 11.2 down from summer 2019)
Jan-Feb fitness goal = PUSH-UPS! Starting with my age (56) wall push-ups....


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CANDY58's Photo CANDY58 Posts: 18,578
6/14/17 7:33 A

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Day 2 didn't go well for me. I had to go to the store to get groceries, I didn't pray before going into the store and I bought a candy bar. The little voice came to me while I was placing it in my chart but I didn't listen now I have to start over.
I am having some problems with my knee and that is getting me down and I was using candy to make me feel better.

Day 1 here I come again.


Candy
MN- Central time


I am an intellingent person. I will control my emotions and not let my emotions control me. Everytime I am tempted to use food to satisfy my frustrated desires, build up my enjured ego or dull my senses, I will remember...even though I overeat in private, my excess poundage is there for all the world to see.
I will take off pounds sensibly!


Total SparkPoints: 255,810
250,000
262,499
274,999
287,499
299,999
SparkPoints Level 23
CANDY58's Photo CANDY58 Posts: 18,578
6/13/17 7:33 A

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I had my meeting last night and it was very good. A gal received her 27 year medallion. There is hope.
I have made it 1 day- again
I got up the courage to ask someone to be my sponsor, she said yes but wants to wait until July as she has company right now. I just know I need to work the steps and I am ready to be abstinent from sugar and chips.

Have a great day- on to day 2


Candy
MN- Central time


I am an intellingent person. I will control my emotions and not let my emotions control me. Everytime I am tempted to use food to satisfy my frustrated desires, build up my enjured ego or dull my senses, I will remember...even though I overeat in private, my excess poundage is there for all the world to see.
I will take off pounds sensibly!


Total SparkPoints: 255,810
250,000
262,499
274,999
287,499
299,999
SparkPoints Level 23
CANDY58's Photo CANDY58 Posts: 18,578
6/10/17 7:40 A

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Had a good Friday- stayed on my meal plan for the most part. Hubby and I went to a outdoor car show and did lots of walking and looking at old cars- had a great time. But on the way home we stopped for ice cream. It sure tasted good after being out in the heat.
Ice cream is a huge trigger item, I just love it.

It is going to be a very hot day here, guess I will clean inside and do laundry.
emoticon



Candy
MN- Central time


I am an intellingent person. I will control my emotions and not let my emotions control me. Everytime I am tempted to use food to satisfy my frustrated desires, build up my enjured ego or dull my senses, I will remember...even though I overeat in private, my excess poundage is there for all the world to see.
I will take off pounds sensibly!


Total SparkPoints: 255,810
250,000
262,499
274,999
287,499
299,999
SparkPoints Level 23
CANDY58's Photo CANDY58 Posts: 18,578
6/9/17 7:48 A

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Not too bad Thursday for me. I was in the mood to eat in the afternoon and later on in the evening. The only thing in the house that would take care of the wanting sweets was cereal. I had my share of cereal yesterday.
I am proud of myself for going 4 days without buying myself candy or chips.
All my meals were planned and healthy and I mowed the lawn for my exercise.
emoticon



Candy
MN- Central time


I am an intellingent person. I will control my emotions and not let my emotions control me. Everytime I am tempted to use food to satisfy my frustrated desires, build up my enjured ego or dull my senses, I will remember...even though I overeat in private, my excess poundage is there for all the world to see.
I will take off pounds sensibly!


Total SparkPoints: 255,810
250,000
262,499
274,999
287,499
299,999
SparkPoints Level 23
SPARKNB's Photo SPARKNB SparkPoints: (26,813)
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Posts: 1,060
6/8/17 5:07 P

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Wrote a long share post (but can read my blog for the less detailed gist) but lost it.

Thanks for inspiration here, both as striver (me also) & voice of experience. I am back on spark for a fortnight, though had an almost curtailing end about a week ago, but pulled myself back to my plan.

Started my "What will I do when..." list. emoticon

Looking forward to make the Roaring 20's the best decade!! Making it happen!!! Motivation into momentum.
My words-of-the-year: *SMART* (goals) & *evolve* (2018 was persist, 2019 was: *eMbody KIND(/ness) &/ =balance= )

My 2020 goal is TRACKING FOOD to result in a loss of 100 pounds (so 111.20 on ticker, started year 11.2 down from summer 2019)
Jan-Feb fitness goal = PUSH-UPS! Starting with my age (56) wall push-ups....


 Pounds lost: 16.4 
0
55
110
165
220
CANDY58's Photo CANDY58 Posts: 18,578
6/8/17 7:40 A

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I like that "When is doubt lunch kit out" I will have to remember that and use it.

They ran out of food last night- I did have a brat on a bun and a small bread pudding.

I went grocery shopping after and I didn't buy any sweets and stayed away from the bakery which is good for me.

Day 3 down

I have my plan in place for today!


Candy
MN- Central time


I am an intellingent person. I will control my emotions and not let my emotions control me. Everytime I am tempted to use food to satisfy my frustrated desires, build up my enjured ego or dull my senses, I will remember...even though I overeat in private, my excess poundage is there for all the world to see.
I will take off pounds sensibly!


Total SparkPoints: 255,810
250,000
262,499
274,999
287,499
299,999
SparkPoints Level 23
CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 33,383
6/7/17 7:14 P

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Great!

I remember something an OA speaker once said that really helped me whenever I eat somewhere other than at home:

"No one else is responsible for providing the abstinent food I need - *I* am responsible."

If I do not know what food will be served anywhere, I take my own food with me. I have no excuses to not eat abstinently.

I have taken my own lunch kit to conferences, staff luncheons where lunch was provided, parties, etc.

"When in doubt; lunch kit out" is my motto.

Good luck!
cj

What if we woke up tomorrow with only those things that we thanked God for today?


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CANDY58's Photo CANDY58 Posts: 18,578
6/7/17 7:39 A

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Thanks cj may make a list myself. I did make it through the day staying on my food plan.

Day 2 down

I have my food plan in place except for my supper. I am helping out at an outdoor church service tonight serving a meal, not sure what they will have to eat hoping it is something that I can work into my plan.

On to day 3


Candy
MN- Central time


I am an intellingent person. I will control my emotions and not let my emotions control me. Everytime I am tempted to use food to satisfy my frustrated desires, build up my enjured ego or dull my senses, I will remember...even though I overeat in private, my excess poundage is there for all the world to see.
I will take off pounds sensibly!


Total SparkPoints: 255,810
250,000
262,499
274,999
287,499
299,999
SparkPoints Level 23
CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 33,383
6/6/17 6:13 P

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Hi Candy!
I have heard from other OAs who have struggled with putting together two days of abstinence in a row that they realized after that they were still eating some of their trigger foods.

Have you considered that certain foods or behaviours may be continuing to trigger you to overeat?

Another suggestion is to put in place a plan for when you *want* to overeat. I get my sponsees to make a list entitled:

WHAT WILL I DO WHEN I WANT TO EAT?

They get a craving to eat when it is not meal time, and they have to look at the list and do one thing. If that doesn't help, they do the next thing. By the time they have exhausted the list the cravings are long gone (and often well before).

Hang in there!
cj

What if we woke up tomorrow with only those things that we thanked God for today?


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CANDY58's Photo CANDY58 Posts: 18,578
6/6/17 7:49 A

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I am so tired of starting over. Hoping that something will finally click and I can be abstinent from sugar and compulsive overeating for more than 1 day.

Yesterday was Day 1 on to day 2

Have a great day!


Candy
MN- Central time


I am an intellingent person. I will control my emotions and not let my emotions control me. Everytime I am tempted to use food to satisfy my frustrated desires, build up my enjured ego or dull my senses, I will remember...even though I overeat in private, my excess poundage is there for all the world to see.
I will take off pounds sensibly!


Total SparkPoints: 255,810
250,000
262,499
274,999
287,499
299,999
SparkPoints Level 23
CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 33,383
6/3/17 3:13 P

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I agree!

And since being in program, I have learnt to recognize when my mental and emotional health is not going well.

I have also learnt what to do about it - journal, phone a friend, call my sponsor or another OA, plan something fun for me or for family members, etc.

cj

What if we woke up tomorrow with only those things that we thanked God for today?


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JANINE8969's Photo JANINE8969 SparkPoints: (13,317)
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6/3/17 1:54 P

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Can you believe it's JUNE?! Where has the time gone? Its funny.....I feel as I get older that time goes a little bit by too fast. I am learning to take time for myself though. I never used to do that. I was the person that always had a hard time saying "No" and then resenting everything because I didn't! I remember growing up to learn that when you put people first....that will make you a like-able person, woman, wife...etc. I learned this from my mother and when I look at my mom today....she looks tired and unhappy. I am not going to be that person. I want to be the person who knows how to give to herself FIRST, so there is enough to go around when people need it from me. Happy June! Let's call this the I AM PUTTING MYSELF FIRST MONTH!

Edited by: JANINE8969 at: 6/3/2017 (13:55)
Janine


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