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LAURANCE's Photo LAURANCE Posts: 6,127
1/8/19 11:00 P

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Oh! Wow! Chris! I've been out of the loop for months, just not posting or interacting. But I checked in and had a look-see, and here's your post from back in October. And here it's January.

Oh wow, I'm feeling for you! It's been two and a half months now since you wrote. Any new news?

I'm having flashbacks to when I was desperate and having an increasingly difficult time meeting Allan's needs. I was circling the drain, and luckily our doctor got in cahoots with the Emergency Room such that the next time I brought Allan in, the doctor would send Allan to our local nursing home rather than back home with me. Just the other day our doctor told me that he was looking out for me as well as for Allan, and plotted with the Emergency Room as much if not more for me than for Allan to get him placed. He knew I was falling apart and couldn't keep holding things up much longer.

So I'm wondering what you have to do to get your hubby in nursing home. Here in Centre County PA it's the hospital that does the placing. (A supposedly supportive social worker in a supposedly supportive support group tore me to shreds and blamed me for the fact that Allan was not in Centre Crest, believing that I had the power to have him admitted. No, around here it's the hospital that sends a patient on to the nursing home, not the exhausted and burned-out caregiver.)

I hope in this time you will have gotten your husband placed.

And placing doesn't mean abandonment!!! I'm still the primary caregiver to Allan because I love him and do not want to abandon him. I come and visit every day and change his pants when he's had a pee accident, and until last week I was taking him to his doctor appointments. (Now the van takes him, wheelchair and all, today was our first day under this new system. We'd reached the point in which Allan could not get in and out of my car. So now the van will take Allan to his appointment, and I'll meet him there.) I'm still deeply involved in Allan's care, but I'm no longer alone, staggering along under a burden that is too heavy. It's more like I'm helping the nursing home out, rather than holding everything up by myself.

Oh, here I am talking about myself when the focus is on you! But my intention in talking about myself is to tell you that I can identify, I can sympathize, I can get it. And I can get how hard it can be to find out what's the trick to getting the help we need. I didn't really find out. It was the doctor who knew and did what he needed to do to get the Emergency Room to get things happening.

Here in Centre County the Office of the Aging is useless! I hope the resources are better where you are and can make something happen.

And I hope you see this post and can respond and tell us what's happening with you.

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10/20/18 7:35 P

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No, I don't have help. That is why I am desperate to get him placed. After 12 years of getting one aide at a time to get him up and one to put him to bed, I have come to believe he needs 2 people to help. The aides around here have spread the word that he is a 2 person assist.
I have one (handicapped ) aide. That's it. 6 mornings a week. A guy keeps saying he wants to work. But he has not shown up yet. I am very tired and frustrated. chris

I have to be diligent about caring for myself. 100 DAYS OF WEIGHT LOSS is a great way for me to keep focused. Day 1 is July 1, 2017. Build habits to produce success. Most of these habits I have at least tried before but did not sustain. First habit: delay eating by using a timer.
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MICHELE142's Photo MICHELE142 Posts: 16,699
10/14/18 3:05 P

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When the wait is a year or longer one gets the idea that the government does not have enough beds available in any given area. That wait list has been around for at least 20 years or more that I know of, and perhaps longer. Do you have any help while you are waiting?

Michele - Central Ohio


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10/14/18 1:34 P

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3-6 month wait or longer

I had no idea about this. It is very frustrating.

chris

I have to be diligent about caring for myself. 100 DAYS OF WEIGHT LOSS is a great way for me to keep focused. Day 1 is July 1, 2017. Build habits to produce success. Most of these habits I have at least tried before but did not sustain. First habit: delay eating by using a timer.
LONG TERM GOAL: Reduce A1C,BP,tryglicerides,and weight.Evening Eating Sabotage Myself Frustration ..Help! www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
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