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GIRLINMOTION's Photo GIRLINMOTION SparkPoints: (318,346)
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2/13/20 7:30 A

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Sonia

5'6", SW over 160, GW 135, MW 135 - 140

Working together, to be the best each one of us can be.

The more we share, the more we have. Leaonard Nimoy
MNABOY's Photo MNABOY Posts: 59,410
2/13/20 12:55 A

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Email Mix-up

It seems there was this couple from Minneapolis, Minnesota who decided to go to Florida for a few days to thaw out during one particularly cold winter. Since both spouses worked, they had difficulty coordinating their schedules, so the decision was made to have the husband leave for Florida on a certain day, with the wife following him one day later. The man made it down to Florida and arrived at his hotel. Upon getting to his room, he decided to open his laptop and send his wife back in Minneapolis an email. However, he left off one letter in typing his wife's email address and sent the email off without realizing his error.

In another part of the country, a widow had just returned from the funeral of her husband, a pastor of many years who had been called to glory just a few days earlier. She decided to check her email because she was expecting to hear from her husband's relatives and friends. Upon reading the first email she let out a loud scream, fainted and fell to the floor.

The woman's son rushed into the room and found his mother on the floor. He glanced up at the computer screen and saw the following email message:

To My Loving Wife:

I've just been checked in. Everything has been prepared for your arrival here tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then.

Your Devoted Husband.

PS: Sure is hot down here!

Received from Anonymous Fan.

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MNABOY's Photo MNABOY Posts: 59,410
2/6/20 2:24 P

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The Farmer's Wagon

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon, loaded with corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise.

"Hey Clarence!!" the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come into the house with me and the Mrs, and have a bite to eat. Then I'll help you get the wagon up."

"That's mighty nice of you, "Clarence answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."

"Aw, come on," the farmer insisted.

"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."

After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."

"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?"

"Under the wagon."

Received from Joke du Jour.

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Rusty
Mississippi River Delta


 current weight: 315.4 
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GIRLINMOTION's Photo GIRLINMOTION SparkPoints: (318,346)
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11/26/19 7:37 A

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Sonia

5'6", SW over 160, GW 135, MW 135 - 140

Working together, to be the best each one of us can be.

The more we share, the more we have. Leaonard Nimoy
MNABOY's Photo MNABOY Posts: 59,410
11/25/19 11:49 P

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Walkie Talkies
If the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything... we might have had:

Stamps - Lickie Stickies
Defibrillators - Hearty Starties
Bumble Bees - Fuzzy Buzzies
Pregnancy Tests - Maybe Baby
Bra - Breastie Nestie
Forks - Stabby Grabbies
Socks - Feetie Heaties
Hippo - Floatie Bloaties
Nightmare - Screamy Dreamy

Received from Rick Widdison.

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Rusty
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 current weight: 315.4 
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MNABOY's Photo MNABOY Posts: 59,410
11/18/19 7:34 P

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Plane Crash Survivors

Two men crashed in their private plane on a South Pacific island. Both survived. One of the men brushed himself off and then proceeded to run all over the island to see if they had any chance of survival. When he returned, he rushed up to the other man and screamed, "This island is uninhabited. There is no food, there is no water. We are going to die!"

The other man leaned back against the fuselage of the wrecked plane, folded his arms, and responded, "No, we're not. I make over $100,000 a week."

The first man grabbed his friend and shook him. "Listen, we are on an uninhabited island. There is no food, no water. We are going to die!"

The other man, unruffled, again responded, "No, I make over $100,000 a week."

Mystified, the first man, taken aback with such an answer, again repeated, "For the last time, I'm telling you we are doomed! There is NO ONE else on this island. There is NO food. There is NO water. We are, I repeat, we ARE going to die!"

Still unfazed, the first man looked the other in the eyes and said, "Don't make me say this again. I make over $100,000 per week. I tithe 10 percent. My pastor WILL find us!"

Received from John Baker.

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 current weight: 315.4 
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GIRLINMOTION's Photo GIRLINMOTION SparkPoints: (318,346)
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11/7/19 7:04 P

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Sonia

5'6", SW over 160, GW 135, MW 135 - 140

Working together, to be the best each one of us can be.

The more we share, the more we have. Leaonard Nimoy
MNABOY's Photo MNABOY Posts: 59,410
11/7/19 11:28 A

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Ship Shape
My daughter, Michelle, is the commander of a Coast Guard cutter. When she gave my husband, Bob, a tour of her ship, he was impressed with the neatness of all decks. However, when Michelle brought Bob to her house, he couldn't believe the disorganization.

"Why is everything in its place on your ship," he asked, "but your house is such a mess?"

Michelle replied, "My house doesn't take 30-degree rolls."

Originally from the Reader's Digest.

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

--

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