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10/3/15 3:19 P

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Doing one box at a time is just the right thing to do---you wont' get too overwhelmed---and if the box is stuff that can all go, then you can move on to a second one without being too stressed..
I finally go to my desk today and got rid of the clutter sitting beside me before I got back on the computer---not really that much that needed to be kept---lots were old receipts from grocery shopping which went in to the trash and found lots of lose change that has been put in the coin tins for the future.

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TIZSLIM's Photo TIZSLIM Posts: 1,551
10/3/15 8:41 A

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We have a limit on how much rubbish we can put out for the bin men so I've already got sacks full waiting. We can get about three or four sacks in our general rubbish bin. Most weeks we only generate maybe one sack [I'm hot on recycling so our recycling bins usually contain more than the general rubbish bin] - even so, it's going to take me a while to get rid of it all.

I'm just about to venture into my youngest son's room[s] and see if there are any dirty dishes. At least I could rescue them! And I suppose I might as well bag up any rubbish - better than leaving it on the floor.

Obviously none of the stuff that has been returned from storage is actual rubbish. I had thought maybe I could encourage myself to sort it by doing two or three boxes and then a bag of clothes. On a practical level I don't think that is going to work though.

I have some other things to sort out today in order to make space. Then I plan to just open a box at a time, deal with the contents so they are either gone or put away where they belong, then move onto the next box. No doubt it will take quite a long time but at least eventually there will hopefully be "a place for everything and everything in it's place" which is the motto both my parents lived by.

I'm chuckling at the thought of you with the yardstick. I'm also wondering where it all went wrong here as I used to be very hot on making sure they/we tidied up at the end of each day when they were younger.

If you always do what you always did - you'll always get what you always got!




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10/3/15 7:08 A

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Glad you already have plans for most of the stuff---woohoo that most of the clothes are too big and can go. Can you sneak in when son is gone and start getting rid of some of the garbage----like a bag at a time. I remember when my kids were younger and I would finally get tired of telling them to clean their room---so out would come the yardstick and trash bags and I would go sit in there and direct their attention to what needed to be done---yardsticks make great pointers and motivators---LOL---If I went down there everything got cleaned and sorted---but I would help with the sorting--we had lots of containers for them to keep them organized when they used them correctly---but it always amazed me that we would always end up with at least 3 bags of trash/broken toys from their room. But in truth, they always enjoyed their room and their toys more after we got it back in shape--they could actually find all the pieces to play games or use after the clean up. What would also get me that they could not see the obvious---I would have to point with the yardstick to a spot they had not touched.

Eastern Shore of Maryland
USING CAPS FOR VISUALLY IMPAIRED FRIEND TILL SURGERY! Team leader for Empty Nesters and the Gardening Team.


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10/2/15 3:24 P

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I don't think he is hiding anything in particular so much as feeing embarrassed/ashamed.

As for the stuff that was in storage - a lot of it will be going. Much of it was stuff I was planning on selling anyway. Some of it was kitchen equipment. Those things I've actively missed I will keep. The rest can go.

Also, most of my clothes and shoes were taken into storage. I've been living in leggings plus jumpers in the winter, tee shirts in the summer. I've had to buy a few new bits but have kept it to a minimum. So I will be glad to have a bit more choice but in any case a fair amount will be too big for me now and can go.

If you always do what you always did - you'll always get what you always got!




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10/2/15 2:34 P

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Make sure you carry out with that threat---and I would wonder what he is hiding that he doesn't want you to find. Betting most of that stuff you had in storage can be gotten rid of.

Eastern Shore of Maryland
USING CAPS FOR VISUALLY IMPAIRED FRIEND TILL SURGERY! Team leader for Empty Nesters and the Gardening Team.


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10/2/15 12:54 P

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And I thought it was just my sons!

We had a leak [more of a flood actually] almost two years ago which wrecked the basement where my bedroom was [as well as other areas of the house]. Finally the insurance company paid out and the basement has now been repaired. My eldest son and I had agreed he would move to the basement and I would have his room. So earlier this week we tackled his room. It was a nightmare! But now he is happily ensconced in the basement.

The insurance company insisted that all the things they had been paying storage for had to be returned this week so now that is all in his old bedroom and I still don't have a proper room.

Meanwhile, my youngest son who has a very small bedroom had filled it with clutter and rubbish then his bed broke. So, he moved into his sisters room and has trashed that too. She had kindly offered to swap rooms with him as she's at Uni so doesn't need the larger room. He didn't want me going into his room[s] so I told him to clear out the rubbish etc then I'd help him move rooms properly. Naturally he hasn't done it.

So, now I've told him he has two weeks to complete it or I will do it. And he will stay in the smaller room. Remains to be seen what he does or doesn't do!

If you always do what you always did - you'll always get what you always got!




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9/1/15 6:16 P

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Boy, you were a brave soul---but glad you did it. Time for both boys mentioned to grow up a bit---if they want to live like slobs, they need to get their own places. Esp. the one with all the wires---that is a major safety issue and a fire hazard.

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USING CAPS FOR VISUALLY IMPAIRED FRIEND TILL SURGERY! Team leader for Empty Nesters and the Gardening Team.


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OHANAMAMA's Photo OHANAMAMA Posts: 28,386
9/1/15 3:45 P

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Same thing here! It was about 6 months ago we offered a new bed and new flooring if he would clean it up himself, at the time he was working full time... and like I said, he would clean at it, but oh my gosh was it cluttered! It was clothes, computers, video systems and games and all kinds of stuff including some trash and dishes. Well, he got the bed and flooring anyhow. :) It was worth it.

~ Renee ~

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9/1/15 1:41 P

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Well done - that's gotta feel good!!

Hubby and I keep thinking we should do this - our son is 23 -*finally* working full time and *never* home except long enough to grab something to eat and out the door again. His room is the same -- I don't even try to open the door anymore, there's so many computer wires and speaker wires and guitars and guitar cases all over the place. I send hubby in there once a week to rescue dishes.
If he's ever home for two days in a row I might try this - he's tall and needs a longer bed, too - I told him I'd buy him a new bed if he cleaned his room - that was 4 years ago....


CD5707126 Posts: 47,152
9/1/15 12:00 P

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9/1/15 10:51 A

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Sounds like all 3 of you did a great job. I hope he will learn skills to keep on track. Maybe cleaning the room will help him clear his mind and move on with life. It does read like he's going thru a depressive episode.

OHANAMAMA's Photo OHANAMAMA Posts: 28,386
9/1/15 9:36 A

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My son is 19. Graduated hs last year, went to college 1 semester, then went to work. Recently he was laid off because of downsizing, and he was the newest hire... so, he's been sitting around the house and his room playing video games and not much else. His room was a wreck. You had to push the door open to get in because of the junk against it, you could not see the floor, and he's even slept on the couch a few times because his bed was covered! I kept telling him to clean it up, and he would clean at it, but still, it was not nearly enough... and I had enough.

Saturday morning hubby and I just went in there and started removing stuff from his room. Son was so mad, but didn't say a word, I ignored his anger, and just kept removing stuff from the room, and then eventually he even helped. It filled up my living room and covered my dining room table (which seats 8!)

When the room was empty we cleaned all the shelving. (lots of shelving! two built in, and a high shelf that goes all the way around his room about a foot from the ceiling.

Then we bought him a carpet and got him a new full size mattress (he's 6'3" and was sleeping on a twin) he didn't want a bed, just a matress on the floor... works for me! And then we gave him 2 days to go through all his stuff as he returned it to his room and organized like he wanted. He did it.

I will say that it looks great now. Things are neat and can be found, you can see the floor and new carpet! In spite of his grumpiness initially, he's really happy with the outcome. :)

Son's room purging: mission accomplished. :)

~ Renee ~

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