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DIALYN50's Photo DIALYN50 Posts: 33
9/3/16 8:19 A

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A moving sell is a good idea for most people, but I don't have the energy to deal with people running in and out over a period of time. Poor oxygen absorption leads to an almost constant weariness, I guess (there doesn't seem to be anything else wrong with me so I blame it on the one thing that has been identified as a health issue). For me, what is simple is best. But I think we all have to adapt to our circumstances and works best for us. Someone else may make other choices, which is fine for them, but life is not one size fits all. And that is actually a good thing.

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9/3/16 8:06 A

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You could try a moving sale after you moved out what you want to keep and then have them pick up what is left if you wanted to try to make money---but that is a bit of work for you. Glad you found a place that will remove and reuse what can be used by others---so important to do that to help the earth as much as we can.

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DIALYN50's Photo DIALYN50 Posts: 33
9/2/16 4:34 P

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They do the heavy lifting so I can get rid of all the furniture that won't be going with me into the new place....and they also apparent recycle as much as they can. I had someone offer to take everything to the landfill but that's not what I really want to have happen. It's not that the stuff is no good to anyone...it's just too much for the small space I'll be moving into. This is win-win for everything except my bank account.

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LINDYINDA's Photo LINDYINDA SparkPoints: (48,524)
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9/2/16 3:10 P

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That would work great if they do the lifting of the bulky heavy stuff you don't want to keep.

Lindy
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DIALYN50's Photo DIALYN50 Posts: 33
9/2/16 8:58 A

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Just checking in to let you know I'm still chugging along. My organizer is coming in next Wednesday. My brother, who is being pretty supportive about this adventure, found a list of businesses who remove unwanted items (including old appliances and furniture). Yes, that is something I will definitely need. I figure it is all about getting all the pieces of my puzzle put together. So, my progress is small, but there is still progress. That's good enough for me.

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LECATES's Photo LECATES SparkPoints: (371,790)
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8/19/16 8:11 A

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See, you are not alone---and if they had to move, they would find a lot more of what they own is even more clutter than they think they have! I think things are definitely pointing towards you moving to that new location---good reason to push forward on getting rid of stuff a bit faster! And I bet they brought home more clutter from their trips---LOL

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NORAHSEMP's Photo NORAHSEMP Posts: 128
8/19/16 12:46 A

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What a great thing!
But even greater still is the part that you didn't hold back. Now, that IS impressive!
emoticon Tha-at's what I need in my life - more grit.
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Peaceful solace-warming love, mountains w/trees-deserts & cacti; all are so opposite, yet enhance the soul


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SUSANSKI's Photo SUSANSKI Posts: 6,866
8/18/16 8:38 P

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No fair! You are TOTALLY making me cry over your post.
How AWESOME that turned out!

So CLUTTER is something we ALL have in common! Good to know!







Life.
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Choose Life.


And we all lived happily ever after...
~Susan...ski





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DIALYN50's Photo DIALYN50 Posts: 33
8/18/16 9:21 A

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I had breakfast with three former coworkers yesterday. They were talking about their vacations. One went to Spain, one went on an Alaska cruise, and one went on a tour of five baseball stadiums back east. And then they asked me what I had been doing and I somewhat reluctantly said my big activity was getting my clutter under control. They were more interested in that process than I would have guessed, and then I told them about the community I was thinking of moving to and they brightened up because, as it turns out, all of them actually live near to the facility.

I do think it is good to announce an intention and not be embarrassed by it. Turns out each of them had their own stories of clutter and trying to deal with it. They had these wonderful vacations but we ended up spending more time talking about dealing with clutter than we did anything else. Now I know another group of people might have been bored by this conversation, but I am glad I shared my project with them. Next time I see them, they are going to ask me how it is going and I am going to want to have something positive to report back to them. That's not a bad thing.

All in all, I am feeling somewhat less desperate and somewhat more encouraged. The feeling may not last but I will enjoy it while I can.

DIALYN50's Photo DIALYN50 Posts: 33
8/15/16 12:33 P

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That was a pretty idea, and I'm glad the results were lovely, though not exactly what you wanted. That's what life is about, I think. We have an idea, and sometimes it works, and sometimes we have to adjust for circumstances. The trick is, I think, giving yourself credit for persevering and remembering what you did out of love (surely that is worth something), and, frankly, you ended up with a story that is more interesting for how you overcame obstacles. Good job. :-)

SUSANSKI's Photo SUSANSKI Posts: 6,866
8/15/16 11:57 A

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Yes, the link worked. That's beautiful!
One of MY favorite ideas was this:
When my hubby and I were dating, I saved all the roses he had bought me and I dried them. The intention was to use them to 'stuff' a ring pillow that I would cross stitch and than have made up into a ring pillow for the wedding.
Well, I went through all that trouble...cross stitched a BEAUTIFUL PATTERN OF FLOWERS even having to redesign it a bit. I stitched our names and date on them as well.
WELL!
Guess what happened!
My MOM did not KNOW I had been saving those dried flower petals for this VERY SPECIAL project.... AND THREW THEM OUT!!!!!!

I was soooooo sad!
Well, she took me across the street to the neighbor lady's rose garden and we picked some (with permission, of course. lol) and dried THOSE! But of COURSE that solved NOTHING.
The sentiment was all changed. sigh.

Then we took the cross stitched part and she had her friend make it into a pillow for me. Well, we waited and waited. And when we got it back....IT WAS HUGE!!!!!
lol, Apparently, she was not informed that it was supposed to be just a small pillow to carry the ring up during the ceremony.
Sooooo....we had to rip it apart and restitch it smaller.
Well, THAT was a flop.
But it DID turn out pretty in the end.




Life.
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It's Worth Giving.
Choose Life.


And we all lived happily ever after...
~Susan...ski





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DIALYN50's Photo DIALYN50 Posts: 33
8/15/16 9:12 A

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I replaced the original link with one from tiny url in the hopes that it will be clickable

tinyurl.com/hl4hn5k

The box is a tribute to ambition over skill....clearly whoever did the box on the site was an expert; my results were not so clean. And I am sure I just added to my mother's clutter by giving her something that wasn't usable.

It doesn't have anything to do with decluttering, but I have found that even boxing stuff brings back memories. Here is that dress, too small for me now, that I purchased while on a spa trip in Mexico, and there is one of two fake leis my brother gave my mother and me prior to out going to Hawaii (oh, I ended up paying for that trip for years afterwards but it was worth it), and a muumuu that I bought there (doesn't everyone buy something at Hilo Hattie's?). Memories good. Stuff, not so good. Have to remember getting rid of the stuff does not mean getting rid of the memories.

Edited by: DIALYN50 at: 8/15/2016 (09:18)
LECATES's Photo LECATES SparkPoints: (371,790)
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8/15/16 7:41 A

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Congrats to all those making progress---step by step, little by little---and some of you are seeing some remarkable steps ---being able to get to your freezer and to be able to walk thru the garage is awesome!
I feel sorry for your brother but at least he has finally gotten started--hope everything in those 2 closets can just go to GoodWill or somewhere---if there is enough stuff to pick up, some places will come for it---but good that he is letting things go little by little.
The feeling you get when you have space is amazing---I still have a bit of clutter but I have come a long way and know where you all are coming from--- emoticon

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SUSANSKI's Photo SUSANSKI Posts: 6,866
8/14/16 10:59 P

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I couldn't open the link. :(




Life.
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Choose Life.


And we all lived happily ever after...
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DIALYN50's Photo DIALYN50 Posts: 33
8/14/16 10:50 P

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Oh, I do love Pinterest. Once, long ago and far away, I tried doing a needlepoint box that had geraniums (my mother's favorite flower) for her birthday. My mother is dead and the box is long gone, but I found the box on Pinterest. It brought back some memories that I had misplaced in what passes for my mind. Unfortunately I can spend rather too much time looking at baby animals on Pinterest...lowers my blood pressure even if it accomplishes nothing else.

This is the box:
tinyurl.com/hl4hn5k/
(not the one I did, but pattern of the one I tried to do for my Mom).

Edited by: DIALYN50 at: 8/15/2016 (09:06)
SUSANSKI's Photo SUSANSKI Posts: 6,866
8/14/16 10:37 P

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yep. That's a good idea. Especially with the kids toys! My sisters and I all want to know where my mom hid all our favorite toys. Are they in the attic? She had to have done SOMETHING with them. And we wish we had some PICTURES of them at least. I guess there's at least hope in going through the photo albums. Mom has GABILLIONS of those.
But I LOVE the nostalgia of seeing our old toys again.
Pinterest is NICEEEEE for that!




Life.
It's Worth Living.
It's Worth Giving.
Choose Life.


And we all lived happily ever after...
~Susan...ski





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DIALYN50's Photo DIALYN50 Posts: 33
8/14/16 10:09 P

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Oh, dear...it sounds as if everyone cleared their house into yours. It is so hard...especially when things have sentimental value. I've decided on some items that I want to remember but I don't necessarily need to keep that I'll take photos of them....maybe do a digital scrapbook at the end. It does seem as if the more I do, the easier it gets to let go. Practice, practice, practice.

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SUSANSKI's Photo SUSANSKI Posts: 6,866
8/14/16 10:00 P

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About 4 years ago we moved (all 11 of us) from a 1,100 sq foot home to a Victorian style home almost 3x the size. We wondered how we would fill it. HA!
Well, THAT was the year that my mother decided to start giving away some things from HER house. Only....no one is as sentimental as I am, I guess.
And....I filled my home up.
Then my brother in law was downsizing because he was going on the mission field, so we got his carpentry and plumbing tools and CAMPING GEAR.
THENNNN....my father-in-law passed away and Mum-in-law gave us a bunch of HIS tools and other items.
Ohhhh boy!

And don't forget those 'gotta-love-garage-sale-season' items that YOU want!
Ohhhhh my worrrddd.

I wish us the best. lol




Life.
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It's Worth Giving.
Choose Life.


And we all lived happily ever after...
~Susan...ski





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DIALYN50's Photo DIALYN50 Posts: 33
8/14/16 9:38 P

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Good on you for getting some stuff out. There always seems to be more to do, but it is doing something that's the most important. I went into my garage this morning and tossed some stuff in my garbage can that didn't make it out to the trash last week. One little bit at a time. I have a huge pile of yucky boxes that I somehow have to get to recycling--they aren't good enough to use for anything (too broken, too torn up). Right now it just looks like an impossible mountain but I know it all has to do with doing a little bit at a time until until I can wear it away. I can, at least, walk inside my garage without problems now, and get to my freezer chest without having to climb over a bunch of stuff. Even a little step is a big step forward.

SUSANSKI's Photo SUSANSKI Posts: 6,866
8/14/16 9:06 P

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Did a Goodwill trip: One garbage bag of clothes and 1 box (so far) of books.
Unfortunately, I found a pile of clothes I forgot to bring out to the give-a-way box. sigh. Hate when that happens!
I'm hoping to do more this week! I'm really in the mood to streamline my house!




Life.
It's Worth Living.
It's Worth Giving.
Choose Life.


And we all lived happily ever after...
~Susan...ski





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DIALYN50's Photo DIALYN50 Posts: 33
8/14/16 9:20 A

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Yesterday we took down several boxes of clothes and houseware stuff to the Goodwill, and had another pile of bottles and cans for recycling. Unfortunately it is going to be blazingly hot this week which is going to make it difficult to do much, and I have several appointments which won't help, but I'm going to try to keep punching away at it. It didn't accumulate overnight; I can't expect it to disappear overnight, but some effort is better than no effort. Trucking on. And so is my brother, which is the most surprising part of all this.

And the peelers are now in someone else's hands. Now my brother is tentatively opening the doors to two hall closets that he says he doesn't even want to think about what they contain. Sad, isn't it? My mother was so proud of her collection of stuff. I don't think she meant it to be a burden to her darling son. And yet, here he is having to deal with things that really aren't worth that much but take up a great deal of space. More donations to come.

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8/12/16 8:41 A

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Betting she forgot she had them--or she liked the color of the handle--who knows, but glad he realizes that others can use them. Glad you are able to help him that way and that you motivated him to get moving on his own mess that he needs to deal with---good luck to both of you---and keep us informed on how you are doing.

Eastern Shore of Maryland
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SUSANSKI's Photo SUSANSKI Posts: 6,866
8/9/16 8:26 P

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I totally want those peelers! lol. With 11 people in the house, they would CERTAINLY be used!
:)




Life.
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Choose Life.


And we all lived happily ever after...
~Susan...ski





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LINDYINDA's Photo LINDYINDA SparkPoints: (48,524)
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8/9/16 2:11 P

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Interested, hope you keep us updated. Not only are you/he making it better for you but that which is donated will bless someone else. Well done!

Lindy
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DIALYN50's Photo DIALYN50 Posts: 33
8/9/16 8:54 A

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My brother is in on the game. He has been living in our mother's house and he is surrounded by clutter so deep that it is literally impossible to get into some rooms. Depressed after her death (he was her primary caretaker), he became stalled in doing what he knew needed to be done about clearing out the house. He will not allow me to help. Fine. So I decided to focus on my own considerable clutter. Well, he can't be outdone by his younger sibling, can he? So he reported that he has started going through drawers and began with the kitchen. He found SIX manual vegetable peelers...all new, all still on cardboard holders. He is mystified as to why our mother kept buying them. It doesn't really matter why, does it? They are going out the door now. He says he is starting to put together bags to take for donations (he doesn't drive so this is the one part of the process I become part of). I am very happy he is taking these steps. We both have a long way to go but at least we started down the road. Good on us! emoticon

Edited by: DIALYN50 at: 8/12/2016 (08:57)
SUSANSKI's Photo SUSANSKI Posts: 6,866
8/5/16 4:10 P

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Great! thanks!




Life.
It's Worth Living.
It's Worth Giving.
Choose Life.


And we all lived happily ever after...
~Susan...ski





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LINDYINDA's Photo LINDYINDA SparkPoints: (48,524)
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8/5/16 10:36 A

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Dailyn50, I congratulate you on the wise decision to move. we all like our independence but as we grow older our needs change and at times we need a little help or sometimes a lot. At least you are willing. To me that is a unselfish thing to do. It would ease the load off those if there were any loved ones. May you be happy in your new home when the time comes.

I would like to recommend YouTube videos of Andrew Mellen, he does organization tips. I find them helpful. Just type his name in, they should come up.

Edited by: LINDYINDA at: 8/5/2016 (19:14)
Lindy
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DIALYN50's Photo DIALYN50 Posts: 33
8/4/16 7:21 P

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Oh, my gosh....that is such a sad story. And it could have easily happened to my uncle, who had pretty much cut himself off from his family and most of his friends. Unfortunately he trusted someone who robbed him blind, which is a whole other story and not nearly as tragic as what happened to your uncle. Yes, I think having a support system is extremely important. Thank you so much for sharing your story....I am determined not to have something like that happen to me or my brother.

SUSANSKI's Photo SUSANSKI Posts: 6,866
8/4/16 3:35 P

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Hi! I'm brand new to this team, though some of you know me from elsewhere.

My uncle had lived alone after my grandmother and other uncle had passed away. In later years he began having some health issues so people checked on him here and there. He lives in a neighborhood where a few relatives are nearby.
One day my mom's newspaperman came to their house and, since he was ALSO my UNCLE'S paperman, Mom and Dad asked him to let them know if the papers began piling up on the porch...or other odd things.
So one day he DID say the papers were piling up.
Mom walked over to check on him. The house STUNK. UH OH. She went upstairs and saw his decaying LEGS on the landing. He had fallen for whatever reason, and DIED without anyone helping him! So sad!
Especially so for my MOM! How could you EVER get that image out of your brain!?

So, yeah, a support system around you is ESSENTIAL!

Edited by: SUSANSKI at: 8/4/2016 (21:21)



Life.
It's Worth Living.
It's Worth Giving.
Choose Life.


And we all lived happily ever after...
~Susan...ski





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LECATES's Photo LECATES SparkPoints: (371,790)
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8/4/16 3:13 P

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I like the places where there are varying levels of care--as you need more help, then you can pay for it, and when you don't need it, you can do on your own. To me, the support of community and having things to do and people to be with would be the biggest plus--but also the ability to have alone time when I wanted it. The fall hazard is extremely important as we get older and live alone----no wonder your uncle was never the same afterwards. He must have been terrified of that happening again.

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DIALYN50's Photo DIALYN50 Posts: 33
8/4/16 8:13 A

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Yes, you nailed some of my concerns. My uncle fell in his bathroom and laid unconscious for three days before he was discovered. As you can imagine, he was never quite the same after that and many of his health problems in later years were directly related to that fall (he didn't break any bones, but he had other problems). Going into a community has some pluses (and negatives). The biggest negatives are the costs and the size of the rooms, but then you have the pluses of a community of people, entertainments, someone else cooks, someone else cleans, and the utilities are included in the price. A friend of mine said I am doing this because I really want to live in a hotel. She may be right.

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8/4/16 7:59 A

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As one gets older, having others nearby to socialize with and check on you is so important. And less hassles with yard work and snow removal, etc. We ladies think ahead. Plus lower utilities in a smaller place.

Eastern Shore of Maryland
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DIALYN50's Photo DIALYN50 Posts: 33
8/3/16 9:57 A

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We can all use some encouragement now and again. emoticon I don't think my brother realizes how much his opinion on this project means to me. Of course, being me, I'd keep going whether or not he said he agreed with me. I suspect he thinks I'm an idiot for wanting to leave the house for a space so much smaller. It just seems a matter of practicality to me. I've had many years in this house...it is time for someone else to have it and leave me free to explore something else in this last part of my life.

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8/3/16 8:31 A

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I am with you on the Freecycle stuff---rather donate my stuff to Goodwill or Salvation Army thrift stores to help others. I won't even check out those sites either.
Glad you finally got some kind of report from your brother about the sites you have visited. It helps you move forward in your cleaning, too---makes perfect sense to me.

Eastern Shore of Maryland
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DIALYN50's Photo DIALYN50 Posts: 33
8/3/16 7:57 A

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It feels to me as if part of my problem has less to do with the old clutter (though that's a big problem) but managing new stuff so that it doesn't get added to the pile. I don't know why but I seem to have a particular difficulty with paper (there's a surprise). Because I don't have anyone nagging me, my sink is also a problem....it becomes that quick place to set something down when I really need to clean out whatever is that I set there and keep it moving. Yesterday we celebrated my brother's birthday with a friend, so I took some recycling over to his house. Consider that a step forward.

Oh, and when my brother was chatting with my friend, he sounded somewhat enthusiastic about the last retirement community we visited and he revealed that two of the places we had checked out together, he didn't feel would be safe enough for me. It's very difficult for me to get an opinion out of him so I was glad to get his input. It wouldn't change my choice, but I value his assessments and that encourages me to keep on with the project of clearing out the clutter (I know those two things aren't obviously connected but they are for me).

Freecycle sounds great for the right kind of neighborhood but I live alone and having strangers show up at my house makes me feel uncomfortable. I am unenthusiastic about garage sales and Craig's List for the same reason. I realize it's just a quirk of my personality that makes me so suspicious but I can only deal with my own reality. As one get older, one has reason to be more careful about these things.

I won't keep posting about my progress or lack of it. But I am trying to keep on some kind of forward track in my own way. Next week, more donations go to Goodwill.

Edited by: DIALYN50 at: 8/3/2016 (08:00)
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8/1/16 5:12 P

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Everyone, please remember, if you want to get rid of things but don't want to load them all up & take them here & there, you can list them on your local Freecycle & get rid of a lot that way. It's easy to do & very convenient.

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8/1/16 9:30 A

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You have the right attitude---I think you will be able to do it--and it will get easier as you go.

Eastern Shore of Maryland
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DIALYN50's Photo DIALYN50 Posts: 33
8/1/16 9:12 A

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I should explain that my brother does not want my help, or anyone else's help. I can't do more than make myself available for those times when he does want to remove something (he doesn't drive). We have no one to pass the stuff on to...we are the last of our family and there will be no more. So I guess, in a sense, it doesn't matter if we declutter or not. For myself, I don't want to take the chance that my brother would have to take care of my clutter as well as that of our mother's. And I do want to move into a community, where the space is much smaller. I have friends who put their stuff in storage and there it sits with them paying year after year for things that may or may not have any value. I don't want to go down that road either. This whole clutter thing tends to be very personal in feel, but at some point, cutting the emotional strands is possibly the best thing I can do.

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8/1/16 8:39 A

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There are very few things that we could not replace if we find we need them later on in life---and if the item is something you do not love or use, then its value to you is nothing---but if you think it is valuable, either research it or ask someone else to do it for you if you are not any good at that--like me---LOL If you know how bad it got at your Mom's, do you really want to do that to your family after you pass on? How sad that your brother is having to do that on his own---but from the sounds of it, you would not be a good candidate to help him as you might want to keep too much. It is difficult but I find that if I watch an episode of Hoarders, I am more than willing to give up a few more things as I would not want to ever get in that a shape.

Eastern Shore of Maryland
USING CAPS FOR VISUALLY IMPAIRED FRIEND TILL SURGERY! Team leader for Empty Nesters and the Gardening Team.


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DIALYN50's Photo DIALYN50 Posts: 33
8/1/16 7:55 A

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I think having a little help is the nudge some of us need to get the decluttering started. For me, investing a little money into the project makes me feel more committed to doing something. If you have a caretaker, relative, or friend to help, that's great, and I think accepting help is a great step forward. To me, and I know this is silly, I feel a little embarrassed by the situation I find myself in. I know better, logically. I saw my mother fall into the same trap of gathering stuff and not being able to release it (her favorite saying was: "you never know when you're going to need it" so we ended up up with multiples of everything). My brother, poor soul, has her house and has taken the responsibility of trying to clean it out (and has made very little progress on the project) so I have really no excuse not to focus on my project except for inertia and maybe a little fear. What if I throw away something I really will need later on? What if I give away something that proves to be valuable? What if, what if, what if....it haunts me. Many thanks to you all for your kind support. And I wish you all the best with your own challenges.

CD5707126 Posts: 47,152
7/31/16 11:08 P

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My caregiver was great last week. I have been putting off clearing out the boxes in my closet but by having her help me I didn't have any of those hang on feelings as I do when I am doing it alone. emoticon

LECATES's Photo LECATES SparkPoints: (371,790)
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7/31/16 4:38 P

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Great that you found some one to help you--too bad it is so costly---but good for you in moving forward while you wait for the next time. Moving is a great time to get rid of our stuff and a great motivator---glad you have a long time frame but keep at it. A little bit at a time adds up!

Eastern Shore of Maryland
USING CAPS FOR VISUALLY IMPAIRED FRIEND TILL SURGERY! Team leader for Empty Nesters and the Gardening Team.


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CD7793680 Posts: 13,093
7/31/16 2:18 P

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You're in the right place here in this group. They will encourage you & cheer you on.

DIALYN50's Photo DIALYN50 Posts: 33
7/31/16 12:21 P

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That sounds great. I know the two things I've learned so far is to have some kind of plan (dividing stuff into toss, recycle, donate) and set a goal for every day (and it doesn't have to be big but just something that gives a forward motion). Don't give up, I guess has to be our mantra. We can do this. :)

LADYANDREA2012's Photo LADYANDREA2012 SparkPoints: (80,480)
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7/31/16 12:16 P

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I need to start decluttering in two rooms of my house and I have to admit it is so scary for me that paralyzes me. Let's try on doing this together. (((HUGS)))

Carmen
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There's nothing wrong with using the word "diet". It comes from the Greek word "diaita", meaning way of life. So to lose weight and keep it off we need to change our way of life.



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DIALYN50's Photo DIALYN50 Posts: 33
7/31/16 9:19 A

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I am planning to move into a retirement community early next year, and I realized that 90% of my stuff can't go with me (nor do I want it to). So I actually got so desperate that I hired an organizer. She's not cheap but, by George, she does get an amazing amount done in a short time. She's made a huge dent in my garage already. I can only afford to have her come every two months or so, but she gives me assignments to do while I'm saving money for her next visit and, I remind myself, this is a one time deal. For some reason, it is easier for me to have a stranger sort through my stuff than even the most well-meaning friend. My biggest challenge is to get something done every day....I feel clutter challenged. :( But the clock is ticking and there is something about a time frame that is inspiring (and scary).

Edited by: DIALYN50 at: 7/31/2016 (09:20)
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