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DWDMOTHERHEN's Photo DWDMOTHERHEN Posts: 6,889
7/27/10 7:58 P

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I think that the way that you feel about yourself may have more to do with your wanting to lose more weight than your actual weight.
For that reason, I suggest you concentrate on getting as much support as you can from professionals and support groups. See what your doctor has to say about any excess skin and what solutions are possible.
Jodi

My blog for women with depression is:
adarkershadeofblue.wordpress.com/
My "dealing with issues" blog is:
motherhensnest.wordpress.com/

Former Senior Moderator abd Co-moderator of the Dealing with Depression SparkTeam
I am not a medical professional or a trained counselor. Please seek professional advice about treatment options.
CAMPER96's Photo CAMPER96 Posts: 3,300
7/19/10 11:35 A

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I would go with what the doctor tells me and just work at maintaining at that point. If you loose to much you take on the risk of being sick all the time. Just follow the advice and you will be fine.

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SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (324,967)
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7/16/10 4:38 P

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I have had a look at some of your recent posts on other teams and have this to add:

You are unhappy about your weight but you don't feel fine where you are! Your Doctor has said that the excess tissue (from your huge weighloss) would weigh about 10-15lb. You MUST take that into account. (Is there any possibility of it being surgically removed in time?) Looking at your recent photos you look FANTASTIC!! And that is not taking it as a comparison to what you were, but purely what you ARE now. Do you have therapy at all, because if you don't then I feel that you should be asking for a referral because it appears to be more an emotional thing you need to deal with rather than weight per se! I think that you MUST be very careful here, because a lot of people who lose a fair bit of weight get right down, look great, but they feel they must go that little bit further. Then they get to that target, but feel "well another couple of pounds." What is happening is that they are sliding into an anorexic state! The excess tissue will possibly reduce over time - ensure that you do your strength-training as well as going for walks, but don't overdo them, AND ensure that you still eat enough.

The important thing is that you have done the work and lost a huge amount of weight and are in a far healthier state that you were previously. Remember that when you get dissatisfied with your current weight!

Kris



Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 7/16/2010 (16:39)
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LACHSTASIA's Photo LACHSTASIA Posts: 2,635
7/16/10 1:29 P

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I am only 5.1 and though my doctor says stop here, I don't feel fine here.

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

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DWDMOTHERHEN's Photo DWDMOTHERHEN Posts: 6,889
7/16/10 11:27 A

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I don't know much about your physique or height, but 140 doesn't seem to be that high of a weight to me. Have you consulted your doctor, or a height/weight/age chart to see if your weight is considered okay or not?
Here is one of many on the web:
www.rush.edu/rumc/page-1108048103230
.h
tml


Jodi

My blog for women with depression is:
adarkershadeofblue.wordpress.com/
My "dealing with issues" blog is:
motherhensnest.wordpress.com/

Former Senior Moderator abd Co-moderator of the Dealing with Depression SparkTeam
I am not a medical professional or a trained counselor. Please seek professional advice about treatment options.
CAMPER96's Photo CAMPER96 Posts: 3,300
7/15/10 10:22 A

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I do that a lot get stuck at one weight. I just waite it out and as long as I don't gain sooner or later I loose another pound. I think you get to where what you are eating is what you are exercising and just changing your exercising routine might change it for you. Hang in there you will get started again. Making sure you are getting your water helps. emoticon emoticon

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JIM1MICHAEL2's Photo JIM1MICHAEL2 Posts: 3,142
7/15/10 9:46 A

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Hi, Lachstasia. I understand with what you wrote that you are just overwhelmed right now. As Slimmerkiwi suggested, take just one issue (perhaps the easiest) and work on that. You will feel a sense of accomplishment from succeeding. Maybe it's just the 8 glasses of water or the 10 minutes of exercise. But you do know that you have to start somewhere. And the check up with your doctor is always an important thing to get done. My very best thoughts and wishes are with you. margi. emoticon

Edited by: JIM1MICHAEL2 at: 7/15/2010 (09:47)
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"See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way . . .
- Exodus 25:30

The guardian angels of life sometimes fly so high as to be beyond our sight, but they are always looking down upon us.
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JIM1MICHAEL2's Photo JIM1MICHAEL2 Posts: 3,142
7/15/10 9:43 A

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Hi, Lyndsie, and welcome to our Spark team. We're glad you joined us. I would have one suggestion and that's to start a new thread of your own. That way, members can post directly to you and the posts won't get mixed up with Lachstasia. Go to the team page Dealing with Depression and select Create a new topic. Send it. And you'll get personal posts just for you. margi. emoticon

Edited by: JIM1MICHAEL2 at: 7/15/2010 (09:43)
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Michael's Mom
12/6/72 - 2/23/73

"See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way . . .
- Exodus 25:30

The guardian angels of life sometimes fly so high as to be beyond our sight, but they are always looking down upon us.
- Jean Paul Richter
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LYNDSIE10 Posts: 1
7/14/10 5:09 P

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I'm really new to this posting on forum stuff. I'm 22 and i'm finding things very difficult in life just now.

I was looking through the topics and this is really the only one that i thought i could write on.....

I've now decided that I have to change my whole life, and hope i can find happiness, within myself again, if anyone has any pointers for me, could you let me know?

:/

thanks x

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7/14/10 6:50 A

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Sometimes our weight reaches a plateau, or a place that it is most comfortable with for a while. Perhaps this is the case with you! It does NO harm sitting at a level for a little wihle - it can give you time to think things through properly. Look at your weightloss ticker - you have made MAJOR inroads into your weight problem and are far, far better place than you were! I find it hard to believe that you NEED to lose more weight! Celebrate your successes and if more come your way then they come - other wise you are still in a good place!

You say "I hate me"! T think that being the case, a trip to your Dr and/or therapist would be in order. You may need some bloods to check things out, and therapist definitely would help at this point of time.

Hpe you can understand this - I had a sleeping tablet and things seem to be everywhere, so I am off to bed for real!

Kris xx

Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 7/14/2010 (06:54)
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LACHSTASIA's Photo LACHSTASIA Posts: 2,635
7/13/10 7:55 A

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I am still not a huge fan of me. I am stuck at 140 and can't seem to get rid of it. Other than that, things are pretty much the same.

Thank you all for your support and hope you are doing well.

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Please join my 100 Plus Pounds Gone Team:

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JIM1MICHAEL2's Photo JIM1MICHAEL2 Posts: 3,142
7/13/10 6:14 A

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Hi, Shirese. I was going through some posts and found yours. Let us know how you're doing and what you've been doing. We care. margi. emoticon

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Michael's Mom
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"See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way . . .
- Exodus 25:30

The guardian angels of life sometimes fly so high as to be beyond our sight, but they are always looking down upon us.
- Jean Paul Richter
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PEDODGEBALL's Photo PEDODGEBALL Posts: 413
7/12/10 12:24 P

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So sorry you have so much going on in your life. Take things day to day or if you have to minute by minute. All I can do is offer you hope that things will get better and to also offer you a big hug.
Jeanne

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TIME4ME-CHERYL's Photo TIME4ME-CHERYL SparkPoints: (0)
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7/12/10 11:47 A

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emoticon emoticon

What you see depends on what you're looking for. Source Unknown

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.Ralph Waldo Emerson
JIM1MICHAEL2's Photo JIM1MICHAEL2 Posts: 3,142
4/5/10 10:04 A

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Welcome to your team on Spark. I'm so sorry you're having so many difficulties at this time. You've received excellent advice from your other friends prior to my post. Please realize that most of us have experienced at least 1 if not more of your issues. With the help of family, other friends and Spark friends, we've survived.

Be sure to keep in touch as we care and want to help. margi.
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Michael's Mom
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"See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way . . .
- Exodus 25:30

The guardian angels of life sometimes fly so high as to be beyond our sight, but they are always looking down upon us.
- Jean Paul Richter
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WORKOUTWITHPAM's Photo WORKOUTWITHPAM Posts: 152,055
4/5/10 8:50 A

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Hi SHIRESE,
I am very sorry that you are so 'down' on yourself. I hope your 'I hate me,' statement is exaggerating at least a little bit. Other members have offered you very good advice and suggestions, so I am not going to repeat what they have already said. I will tell you though that I think you are a beautiful young woman who has accomplished quite a bit. You are an intelligent college graduate who has the opportunity to have a very bright future. You have lost an amazing amount of weight and for that alone, you should be very proud of yourself. I am very proud for you because of all of your accomplishments. I hope you will be able to see that one day and know just how special you are. We are very supportive on our team, and we are here for you. Take care, and keep in touch.

HUGS
Pam

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I am not a medical professional or a trained counselor. Please seek professional advice about treatment options.

"The reason people find it so hard to be happy is they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be."
-Marc Pagnol
SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (324,967)
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4/4/10 6:52 P

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Shirese – I can understand your frustrations, but rather trying to tackle everything in the one hit, focus on each thing individually. Some things will resolve as a result of others having been dealt with.

1. Rather than focusing so strongly on the end result of what you want from a relationship, enjoy the moment and the rest will possibly follow. By focusing on your end-needs, you run the potential of chasing any “suitable” suitor away. I have a feeling that you are assuming here regarding whether he is “into” you or not! Assumptions can be so, so wrong!

2. PCOS – yes it CAN cause problems with regard to fertility, but then I know a number of women who have this condition AND have had children without any problems.

3. Being poor – join the club :-( I am in that boat also, and it wasn’t by choice either. BUT as I am not materialistic, it isn’t necessarily a real major issue most of the time.

4. Getting into grad school – there are a lot of people in exactly the same situation. I don’t know what the costs etc. are there, but are you able to get a Student Loan? Can you do some part-time work while studying (without putting too much pressure on you!) Is there a Society etc. where you can either apply for a grant, or get a lower or no interest loan?

5. My metabolism is screwed too, and I understand the having to work extra hard re the weight. If you allow yourself one day per fortnight to eat whatever you want you will find that it is much less a problem emotionally, and you won’t gain back the weight either.

6. You DEFINITELY ARE NOT ugly – you are GORGEOUS – take a real good look at your photo! Many a person would die to look like that :-) Facial hair is a very common phenomena with PCOS and for some women in general. It can also be easily dealt with. A lot of women when they get older develop it – me included. When I realised I was standing in an Optician’s checking out frames. The strong lights made what I never realised I had stick out like a sore thumb. They were starting to get coarse and dark. I have electrolysis for this and it has been working beautifully. Initially it needed doing fairly often, but now it is once every 3 or so weeks and doesn’t cost very much. It has improved my self-esteem with my personal appearance. Medication MAY be appropriate for it but isn't advisable in some instances, so you need to check with your Doctor. My daughter used spironolactone (Aldactone) until she wanted to get pregnant. Laser treatment wouldn’t be appropriate because you can’t use it if you have dark skin, and it doesn’t have to be very dark, either. It works on dark hair - not grey or white.

7. Why do you claim that you aren’t very intelligent – you “used to be as a kid”? Here is something for you to think about. Some of the most successful people aren’t particularly intelligent. Some I would even class as being a bit “thick”, BUT they are good at what they do. Likewise, some really intelligent people are “failures”. Intelligence is only one part of an equation. There are two “Q” Tests – an “IQ” and an “EQ”. The Emotional Quotient person often succeeds more than an Intelligence Quotient person. You have undergraduate qualifications, so I would be inclined to say that you are selling yourself VERY short here!

8. “I am unable to forgive people and events from childhood. I am not even trying actually. Looking at those circumstances makes me mad” Do you actually WANT to forgive? If you don’t then perhaps it is just a case of learning to let go, which is slightly different. You won’t know until you try, and for this is may be important to have a counsellor help you with it. I do realise that you have tried counselling in the past, but there WILL be some out there who would be marvelous for you. It is often a case of try, try, and try again, until you get one the "fits" with you.

9. Yeast infections CAN be related to your diet. Try to reduce the yeast in your diet as much as possible. A lot of breads have this, as do some spreads and mushrooms. You never mentioned what type of yeast infection, but unfortunately some people are just prone to them because......! IF you use an inhaler for Asthma, then the steroid in there can cause oral thrush. You need to rinse your mouth after using it. Some other medications can cause a person to be prone to yeast infections, too, as can some medical conditions, like diabetes. (I note you said you don't have Diabetes). When my daughter was pregnant, she kept getting yeast infections and was advised to keep away from citrus fruit. When she was little she used to get it also when she had either been ripping into oranges, OR got highly emotional (excited or angry). You could almost set the clock for just on midnight on those occasions. She would wake up screaming in pain. When her emotions were under control (or she hadn’t been sneaking the forbidden fruit) she would be fine!



I strongly suspect, tho that "grieving" is possibly one of the main causes for your current emotional turmoil. You are "grieving for your finances, your medical condition, the having babies, your future education!

Take care and remember, we are here for you, and altho' some of the suggestions we make may not be appropriate for you, I am sure that there will be many which will be helpful.

Kris xx

Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 4/4/2010 (19:01)
Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression
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I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


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DWDMOTHERHEN's Photo DWDMOTHERHEN Posts: 6,889
4/4/10 6:04 P

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SHIRESE
For people with depression, everyday problems that would be challenging for anyone are that much harder to deal with -- there is no way of getting around it. I identify with that, as do most of us here, and we don't mean to minimize the difficulties that you are experiencing, because we know that you, just like us, have come here to be understood.
Hopefully though, you have also come here to be encouraged and find strength from knowing that you are not alone. That's where we come in.
If you can find even one thing that someone here suggests that you can say, "I could do that," then that is where you start. Maybe tomorrow or next week you might see something else that sounds possible, and you can see how that goes. Please don't feel that we expect you to do an extreme makeover on your life overnight! We just know that the more suggestions we make, the better the chance there is that you will find a place to start from.

I understand your desire for a relationship and a family. We all want to feel loved and to have someone to spend our lives with, and many of us have heard our personal biological clocks ticking.
That you are unhappy with yourself right now makes it difficult for you to believe that you can be truly liked, never mind loved, am I right? Believe me, this can be more of a hindrance in a relationship than any physical characteristic could be, so becoming more accepting of yourself as a person would be a big help in every way.
With that in mind, I wanted to contribute something that has helped me in this area in the past. I have posted this before, but not for a long time.
BTW, I didn't find the love of my life until I was 40 years old, so you just never know.

Positive Affirmations

It is amazing how our parents' voices still speak in our heads even years after they are gone! The reason, of course, is that they are integrated into our own self-talk. All of us have a tape in our heads that we keep playing over and over and over, so that the damaging words that hurt us or the world of our fears become our reality.
One of the main ways to reprogram our brains is called positive affirmations.
This is an exercise I did that has helped.

You cannot suppress a thought without replacing it. For instance, don't think about a pink polka-dotted elephant. You just visualized that elephant, didn't you? When we tell ourselves repeatedly that we should not think negative thoughts about ourselves, all we are doing is reinforcing those thoughts further.
Instead, if we create positive affirmations to switch our thoughts on to, we will have better success.
1. It helps to first write out at least 10 good qualities you have. I know, this sounds impossible right now, but you can ask someone who cares about you to help. Just ask, someone"What do you like about me?" and the answers will lift your spirits immediately. Include things that people have told you that you do well, no matter how trivial it seems.
2. Take this list, and make positive statements about yourself from them. For instance, if on your list you put "I am good at crafts" your positive affirmation could be "I am a creative person." The affirmations work better if you at least partially believe or hope that they are true.
Here are a few more examples:
I am a caring person who helps others.
I am a good mother/father and I take good care of my children.
I am intelligent and well-educated.
I work hard at my job.
I am a survivor who has made her/his way through tough times.

3. Get small recipe cards at the dollar store or somewhere else inexpensive.
4. Write a positive affirmation on each card. You should have at least 10 cards. Remember, you can add cards whenever you want. For instance, let's say a few weeks from now you win a 1st place in a photography competition. That would be a good time to write a card that says, "I am a very good photographer" or even, "I am an award-winning photographer."
5. Put an elastic band around your cards and put them in your purse, briefcase, or the pocket of a coat you wear every day. Whenever you have a minute, waiting at the doctor's, lined up at the grocery store, riding the bus, in a traffic jam, etc. look through your cards. If you are somewhere where you can say them aloud, do so.
Alternatively, you may decide to put one card each into, or onto, somewhere that you look all the time, like your underwear drawer or on your bathroom mirror. If you realize that you aren't seeing one card much, switch it with one that you have seen a lot.

Amazingly, this works! In a sense, you have been brainwashing yourself for years, and now you are resetting the default and programming yourself to think healthier thought about yourself.
Give it a try. This is a wonderful activity for depressed people in particular, but anyone can benefit.

I was poor most of my adult life, and yeah, having money is better -- but it never could make up for a crummy marriage, or fix my son's health when he was terminally ill. Money does have limits.
Where you are financially right now doesn't necessarily have anything to do with where you will end up financially later -- hard to believe, I know, but if a few years ago you had told me that in 2010 I would be where I am now, I would have laughed. Life is weird that way.
I looked up PCOS on the MayoClinic.com site, and I see that blood sugar problems can be an issue, so I would assume that the doctors would have ruled that out -- but maybe they should keep checking just in case.
Health food stores have a number of products designed to raise your PH level, or lower the amount of yeast in your body, so if you haven't checked that out it would be an idea.
I have really light skin and dark hair, and I am perimenopausal, which also has the unfortunate effect of making hair grow where you least want it. Three words -- men's electric razor. Yeah, it isn't very feminine, but I have found it works better for me than plucking, bleaching, waxing...and women's razors are the pits compared to men's.
If you can't pay for grad school, see if they will defer your acceptance for a year, and work, saving as much as you can. I know it won't be enough, but it will give you something to start with, and it will make you more likely to qualify for a student loan with a bank, wouldn't it? (Sorry, I only know the Canadian system.)
Anyone who is depressed and stressed thinks less clearly, and IQ is not that easily lost, so you are probably way smarter than you think. If you are smart enough to get an undergraduate degree with all that you have dealt with -- I'm willing to bet that you are pretty smart!
Finally, don't give up all hope re:meds. New things are found all the time, and many of us who didn't do well on certain meds at one time have felt much better on something new later.
You are not alone -- we care!
Jodi


My blog for women with depression is:
adarkershadeofblue.wordpress.com/
My "dealing with issues" blog is:
motherhensnest.wordpress.com/

Former Senior Moderator abd Co-moderator of the Dealing with Depression SparkTeam
I am not a medical professional or a trained counselor. Please seek professional advice about treatment options.
LESLIEJEAN43's Photo LESLIEJEAN43 Posts: 35,506
4/4/10 3:34 P

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Being tired and rundown can often contribute a lot to negative feelings.
Please take care of you! Eat well, drink lots of water, exercise and rest; get all the sleep you need.
I'm sorry you don't think that 'professionals' have helped you, but that doesn't mean there isn't one who could. The same is true of anti-depressants; there is bound to be one which can help you. I had to try quite a few to find my current combination of meds, which keep me fairly level.
We are all here for you, so please keep posting and letting us know how you are doing. We care; I care!
Leslie emoticon

"Any idiot can face a crisis. It's the day-to-day living that wears you out."
---Anton Chekhov



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LACHSTASIA's Photo LACHSTASIA Posts: 2,635
4/4/10 2:58 P

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I am not diabetic and do not have any STDs.

Thank you all for your kind words. I am just tired.

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Please join my 100 Plus Pounds Gone Team:

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VXWALL1942's Photo VXWALL1942 SparkPoints: (0)
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4/4/10 2:55 P

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Ah Shirese! Dear one...how my heart aches for your sense of futility and emptiness. Let's look at your world realistically for a moment.

35 and above is an age when many, male and female, have yet to make a commitment to anyone. Or in some cases anything. Overcome your feeling of 'not me he can't' and stay in touch. Even having a friend online is a good thing. And one never knows where friendships will lead.

You are dealing with a lot. But you are also dealing in 'what if' scenarios which provide no good result. When it is time to worry, then apply energies. Until then focus on what things you can do something about. The other stuff will wait. And one never knows what the circumstances will be down the road.

Your status is relative to how you see yourself. You are educated, and intelligence doesn't disappear. Challenge yourself and take ownership of your life. Consider pursuing another job. Put on your big girl pants and go for it. If you need help with a resume or interview skills most cities or counties have available services to help without charge. Get on the phone and see what is available. Action beats the heck out of a 'pity party'. Many people are poor - in spirit and in health and in education. It cannot be assumed that financial advantages make one rich. Use your education. Check into the possibility of grad school and availability of assistance. The government has programs to loan moneys. This is not a fait accompli until you take action, with commitment to your own success.

Assessing your beauty sounds very self defeating in your present state of mind. Each of us has gifts that others wish for, musical or artistic talent, intelligence, personality, humor,etc. When you are making a list of pros and cons, consider those you possess. You are of great value and appearance is not the measure of your greatness.

Living like the 'average person' isn't a particularly clear goal. How do you want to be? Healthy, fit and reasonably content? You hold those keys...go for it! Set goals in small increments that will lead to your future. Never give up! Life is for living...and enjoying in varying degrees.

You need to be open to solutions offered by professionals. Take things in small increments. Today I will.... And then the next day or week add a bit to it. Get back on track with a mental health professional. Ask your dr for recommendations to overcome the medical conditions and then cooperate to achieve your - YOUR - goals.

Hope this helps. I have talked to you as the friend I hope you know I am. You matter. Please don't feel so badly about yourself. There is always hope. Let us know if there is anything we can do to help.

vicki

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vicki

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Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once. -Anonymous

If life is a bowl of cherries, what am I doing here in the pits? -Erma Bombeck


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4/4/10 2:53 P

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OUCH girlfriend, lots of pain within. I have no words others than to offer to love you until you can love yourself. Loves ya emoticon

Terri, Princess of the Terri-tory~~Sure is hard to be a princess around here. WELL-BEHAVED WOMEN RARELY MAKE HISTORY *to be enlightened is to be without anxiety over imperfection. Allow myself to find happiness in the only place that it can be found: my real messy, imperfect experience Anon + Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You” Dr. Seuss+ SorryTHX,Forgive,Love+
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are you diabetic?? you know when my diaetes is out of control the yeast infections are therre they feed on teh sgar in your body fluids it's an idea..and to tell the truth you don't look like me and i weigh less but i was 378 and i am stil 'compressing' the fat under the skin it is working but it's slow as the dickens
and as for being poor i can relate to that i wwent to school got a degree and never made enough money even with that in the medical field to do more than barely make it..but you know you will make it
it doesn't always seem that way but you will..i see you have lost a lots already..drink that water and youwill find yourself coming out of that place you are in you can do it the lady mary

TODAY IS LIFE THIS IS NOT A DRESS REHEARSAL

there is no cause when there is no effect km

i can do that, but not on a tuesday
for that is my day of thrust in the opposite direction -
off the starboard bow
over the hurdles,
and down the shute.

last is just the slowest winner. c.hunter boyd

people often say that motivation doesn't last. well neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily. zig ziglar

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I really am not embarrassed by my problems anymore. I am embarrassed by me.

1. I am 35 and never really had a relationship. The only thing I ever really wanted was a family, so for me this is a huge deal. Recently, I met this wonderful man from Canada. We met in person last week. (I am from Chicago.) He was perfect. I thought my flabbiness would turn him off. I still have the nagging feeling that he is not as into me as I am into him.

2. I have PCOS. I want children. This is definitely going to cause difficulty down the road (if I ever find the one). I don't want to live without giving birth to children.

3. I am poor. I worked hard in school to end up in a dead end job. I have been poor all my life. I am sick of it. Money is not in my top five things of having but being poor isn't either.

4. My chances of getting into grad school are extremely low. If I do get in, how will I pay for it.

5. I live in constant fear of gaining weight and not reaching my goal. My metabolism is screwed. I can never live like the average person again. This bugs me that I have to work extra hard simply to look slightly "thick" and not thin.

6. I am ugly. Shallow as it maybe, I don't like it. Due to the PCOS, I have horrible facial hair. Even without it, I am ugly.

7. I am really not that intelligent. I used to be as a kid but not anymore.

8. I am unable to forgive people and events from childhood. I am not even trying actually. Looking at those circumstances makes me mad.

9. I have constant yeast infections that the doctors have no idea why I keep getting them. More ways to make me miserable.

I am sure that I left a slew of things out.

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

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i'm with nancy here you have a tremendous amount on your plate and it is time to pare and cut back and give yourself space in looking at all you are doig when do you do for yourself?? you need to carve out some time and not worry so much about others get with yourself are you running from yourself by being so busy?? it won't go away unless you do something for you and not everyone else as a way to ignore yourself hugs the lady mary

TODAY IS LIFE THIS IS NOT A DRESS REHEARSAL

there is no cause when there is no effect km

i can do that, but not on a tuesday
for that is my day of thrust in the opposite direction -
off the starboard bow
over the hurdles,
and down the shute.

last is just the slowest winner. c.hunter boyd

people often say that motivation doesn't last. well neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily. zig ziglar

if i stitch fast enough do


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4/4/10 1:49 P

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Can you share any of the problems and maybe people from this team can support you or give suggestions. If you don't feel comfortable sharing right now in public you can write me anytime.

Nancy

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You, too? Thought I was the only one.’” (C.S. Lewis)

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4/4/10 1:47 P

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My teams are pretty dead. I just came in from a walk.

I feel like I have problems that don't allow me to enjoy life. I guess I am saying that until my problems go away, I won't be happy.

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Please join my 100 Plus Pounds Gone Team:

http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/gro
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4/4/10 1:33 P

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Shirese,

I see you are the leader of many teams - are you currently active leading them?

Are you getting enough you time?? After 3 years almost on Spark, I still have to set goals to deal with my depression and receive support from my spark friends and outside professionals.

Hopefully you have or can set up some small doable goals to start lifting this feeling of doom and anger you have. Have you ever tried journaling? What about now - going for a walk and enjoying the beautiful weather!!

Nancy

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You, too? Thought I was the only one.’” (C.S. Lewis)

Leader - SparkPeople's Official Virtual Walk/Run Challenge www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=33492

Leader SP CLASS of November 8-14 www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=34800

Co-moderator, Dealing With Depression
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=953
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4/4/10 1:27 P

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Thanks NancyLee,

I have seen countless "professionals" and taken numerous drugs. These are not for me. Don't worry, as I said I am too much of a coward to kill myself.

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Please join my 100 Plus Pounds Gone Team:

http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/gro
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Two more blogs of mine:

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lbofflesh.wordpress.com/


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4/4/10 1:23 P

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Shirese,

Whatever the reason you are writing this, I am glad you did. You do not have to live feeling this way. Please call someone to talk to know about how you are feeling or go to your local emergency room to talk with someone. Here is the link on this page with emergency numbers to call www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_mes
sa
geboard_thread.asp?board=711x953x301R>56597


These really are not feelings you should try to handle without professional help. Do you currently have a therapist or psychiatrist? If so - I would strongly suggest you call them if not I strongly suggest you do get the appropriate services to help better your life.

We are here to listen, support, encourage - but we do not take the place of professionals. Maybe venting has helped - but it sounds as if you have been dealing with this for awhile.

You ask where does this leave you - the only thing to do is to stop this downward spiral. I know sometimes we think - easier said than done, but many of us have been where you are and through proper supports and medication (do you take any?) live fairly stable lives.

Please keep us posted on how you are doing.

Nancy

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You, too? Thought I was the only one.’” (C.S. Lewis)

Leader - SparkPeople's Official Virtual Walk/Run Challenge www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=33492

Leader SP CLASS of November 8-14 www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=34800

Co-moderator, Dealing With Depression
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
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4/4/10 1:06 P

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When am I ever not going through a thing? I feel awful and not just today. I feel this way everyday. I am not sure if I am writing this to vent, reach out, for attention (in the sense of validating my feelings) etc. I am sad, anxious, and worried and ANGRY all the time. I feel as if I have reasons for it. I am just so tired of feeling this way. I am too much of a coward to kill myself and too stubborn to die on someone else's terms. Where does that leave me?

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Please join my 100 Plus Pounds Gone Team:

http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/gro
ups_individual.asp?gid=41813


Two more blogs of mine:

unorganizedchef.blogspot.com/

lbofflesh.wordpress.com/


 current weight: 205.0 
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