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DWDMOTHERHEN's Photo DWDMOTHERHEN Posts: 6,889
6/7/10 6:02 P

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CLAY I just want to set you straight on one thing: we are not here just to read and write success stories.
We constantly have members posting their frustrations and struggles. Everything that was written here has been written in the hope that it would encourage and strengthen you.
You have received this many replies because so many people relate to you and how you are feeling. Yes, we may have overreacted to your overreaction, but again, that is because we care!
Good for you for doing that 30 minutes of exercise! You are right, healthy eating isn't easy, and exercise...well, let's just say I'm fairly allergic!
We are here because we care, and we hope to hear from you again soon.
A success story is totally optional!
Jodi

My blog for women with depression is:
adarkershadeofblue.wordpress.com/
My "dealing with issues" blog is:
motherhensnest.wordpress.com/

Former Senior Moderator abd Co-moderator of the Dealing with Depression SparkTeam
I am not a medical professional or a trained counselor. Please seek professional advice about treatment options.
SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (326,014)
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6/7/10 5:52 A

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Hi Clayton - first off, I am NOT going to pat you on the back and say "there there - it'll be o.k." Unless you do something, it WON'T be o.k. and it WON'T go away. Now I am going to be really harsh and make a comment which I had NEVER thought I would ever do - someone had written a blog a couple months ago saying 'I AM TOO LAZY TO SAVE MY OWN LIFE!' The reality is - she died the other day...... and it was largely preventable.

No-one says losing weight it easy - believe me - I know - I had been overweight for 30 odd years and couldn't budge it. BUT look at my ticker - o.k. - I wasn't as heavy as you, but overweight is overweight! There are members here who have lost 2-300lb and are still maintaining after 2-3 years. That was done because they were determined. They were the only ones who could do it - no-one else can do that for you.

You CAN do this - read the articles in the healthy lifestyle section. Use the Nutrition Tracker. I weigh all my food and enter it in there and by doing that have been able to stay focused and gradually lose weight - it took 16 months to lose it! Just start off with baby steps. Change one or two things at time. Perhaps instead of soda/juice, try replacing it with some water. Instead of taking a car to go somewhere fairly close - try walking there. No reason why you can't sit before the return. Start your exercise off slowly - even just walking around your house instead of sitting in a chair watching tv or sitting on playstations etc. Who puts your laundry away? Whoever does, YOU do it and put one item away at a time. I do that for my walks. My laundry is one end of the house and most of it goes the other. It soon mounts up and it doesn't even seem like exercise (doesn't seem like work either and that is the good part!) When you talk on the phone, try walking around while you talk instead of sitting - that uses energy too! No-one says you have to go to a gym and get a personal trainer who is going to boot your butt, BUT it is worth thinking about:-) To paraphrase David Lloyd George "You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps!"

Obviously you have depression as an issue as well. Ensure that your Doctor is kept in the loop about exactly how you are feeling. Come here every day - share - there are two good threads which you may like to join - one is "Help I am having a Bad Day/Week/Month...." and the other is "Daily Check-In Part 8". You will be very welcome to join in and as members get to know you, you will find that you will be provided with a lot of useful tips to help you. Even if you just want to say "Hi"!

Take care, and remember - we DO care!
Kris

Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 6/7/2010 (05:57)
Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression
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I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


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GIVEUP30's Photo GIVEUP30 Posts: 28,115
6/7/10 4:25 A

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emoticon what having trouble losing...me too but not giving up lost 15 and at a stand still but just loosing tell me I am able to do so so come on breath deep and just do the walk by the way have you got that junk food out of the house chips, cookies, you know what that isn't helping...will you loose if you keep trying and eat good fruit, veggies, fish, chicken breast, got the picture NO fry food anymore,,,grilled, steamed, emoticon

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OBIONE686's Photo OBIONE686 Posts: 74
6/7/10 3:14 A

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Clay, I figure you're not going to answer, and that's okay. I'm 23. I've gained 100 pounds in 4 years. I'm afraid food's the only addiction I've known, and I've known it since I was 13.
Depression is countered by exercise, as you've well heard. Yes, it's almost impossibly painful to look at the scale and see it not move. That's step one: to stop the rise. I'm sure you and I have said, "That's enough! No heavier!" and still gained. We all have, right? It's not like we can quit eating cold turkey.
So, try something new. First off, go to a calorie counter and find your static calorie intake. That's how much you need to eat to maintain your weight at your current lifestyle. Use "static calorie intake" in your internet search. It's probably more than you realize. I'm pretty positive sp did it for you. Then they subtracted 500 cals from that, to equal safe weight loss. Track your cal, fat, protein, and carbs. That's a good start, but I would add fiber and sodium: higher fiber, between 25 and 35 grams, helps with appitite and weightloss. Too much salt makes it harder to lose weight, because of water retention.
Think, "just two more pounds." I know, it seems miniscule. But a pound every week, that really adds up in one year. You'll just be 26! If you only focus on the next two pounds, just two pounds, just half a pound a week even, you'll look behind you and be shocked by how many steps you've taken! Put up your deadline: by next year, I will never be over *** again! Be proud of your streanth, each and every step you take! And Clay? Reach out. Like you did just now. Take one friend from here, somebody who will kick your behind, and keep in contact with them. You'll be amazed how much better you will feel. Drop me a line next month, when you've taken your steps into success.

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TARAFROMONT's Photo TARAFROMONT Posts: 1,959
6/7/10 1:43 A

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Clay don't give up on yourself.. You know what you want so go for it.. I know you can do it.. Don't give up on you. You are much stronger then you think you are.. To quit doing drugs and drinking takes strength and courage.. Use what you used for that to lose the weight.. It's not a diet it's a lifestyle change. And I know you can do it. One day I hope and pray you will know you can do it too.

Men look at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7b

For with God nothing shall be impossible Luke 1:37

For HE will command HIS angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.
Psalm 91:11


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CLAYTHESCRIBE Posts: 27
6/7/10 1:01 A

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Maybe I can do it, I've just stopped caring. I was mostly losing weight so I'd be more confident, have more energy, but mostly so I could look more attractive to others and perhaps get a date, something I haven't had in over four years. But it just seems so hopeless and I just don't care about getting into a relationship right now or what people think. So I've pretty much lost my motivation. I don't believe in the 12 steps personally. I just use my will power and tools from SMARTRecovery, which hasn't really helped me with my food addiction because not many people there know anything about it. It was a bad idea for me to post like this in the first place. I'll post when and if I have some good news about my weight loss.

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TARAFROMONT's Photo TARAFROMONT Posts: 1,959
6/7/10 12:31 A

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Clay you are thinking you can't do it.. Thinking Can't then you can't you are putting yourself up for failure.. Think Positive and think I can do this.. You need to self discipline yourself and I am saying this cause I need to do it too. WIPE CAN'T FROM YOUR VOCABULARY.. You can do this don't give up on eating right. You can eat right..

See as an Addict I can see your addiction in your food. You think the same way. Use the 12 steps for your addiction with food too. Believe me it works. I've decided to do that with my own food addiction.

Do You want this bad enough? It all depends on how badly you truly want to be healthy and lose the weight.. how bad do you want it? NO ONE c an motivate you but you no one can discipline you to do this but you and one can only encourage you so much..
But by the sounds of things you've already given up on yourself..

Change your thinking change you.. If NOTHING CHANGES NOTHING CHANGES

IF you want to change no one can do it for you you gotta do it yourself..

Me I Talk to Christ and ask HIM daily for strength to keep on pushing forward and do as HE would have me do.. And I motivate myself to lose weight. NO one else can do that for you.

Men look at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7b

For with God nothing shall be impossible Luke 1:37

For HE will command HIS angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.
Psalm 91:11


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CLAYTHESCRIBE Posts: 27
6/6/10 11:49 P

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I will NEVER get surgery for being too fat. I'd rather be fat than dead or have to worry that my stomach was going to explode every time I ate, nor do I have the money for it, nor am I fat enough for it. I honestly think that surgery is cheating unless you are morbidly obese and is a shortcut to the real accomplishment of losing weight one pound at a time. No offense to anyone who has had the surgery, but I'm very much against it and would advise anyone against it unless it was an emergency.

I did exercise for 30 minutes tonight, mostly because I've been having a hard time sleeping and it helps with that. Didn't go very fast, but worked up a sweat. I know I need to do lots more and that seems daunting, but I guess I need to just try a little bit at a time. Quitting drugs and alcohol was pretty easy, I don't need them to survive. I don't get cravings to get high or drunk much anymore, but I do get hungry and get cravings for food and I usually give in to them, sometimes much to the detriment of my financial health. I tried the nutritional tracker at MyFitnessPal.com (I don't really like the one here, I find this site very confusing and not user friendly) but I just found I didn't record the bad food I ate and I was often over my allotted calories. I will keep exercising because that's not as hard, but eating right is just something I'm not good at and fear will never be good at.

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TREATL's Photo TREATL Posts: 6,613
6/6/10 11:14 P

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Each and every person who has posted on this blog is awesome emoticon !!!! Each of you is fighting his/her own battle with depression and weight issues and is not giving up the fight. Thanks to all of you for your inspiration and support.

Co-Leader, Dealing with Depression Team

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ? Maya Angelou

“The art of medicine is long and life is short; opportunity fleeting; the experiment perilous; judgment flawed.”-Hippocrates, The Emperor of All Maladies

When the power of love
overcomes the love of power
the world will know peace.
--Jimi Hendrix


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TARAFROMONT's Photo TARAFROMONT Posts: 1,959
6/6/10 9:52 P

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OH I also wanted to say I know what it's like to quit drugs that takes a lot of work.. I'm an addict in recovery too. If we can quit that I'm sure we can quit the food addiction and lose the weight too

Men look at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7b

For with God nothing shall be impossible Luke 1:37

For HE will command HIS angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.
Psalm 91:11


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SYLPHINPROGRESS's Photo SYLPHINPROGRESS SparkPoints: (108,288)
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6/6/10 9:36 P

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While I was considering weight-loss surgery last year and going back and forth in my head, I often thought that losing weight didn't matter: It's only me, it doesn't matter, I have no reason to lose weight.

I went ahead with the surgery. [Calm down, I'm not about to urge you. I have no truck with proselytizing.] A large part of the decision rested not on whether I cared for the moment, but whether I could awake one morning in the future to discover that it very much mattered? That I very much matter? Would I have missed the boat?

You feel the way you feel, but your reason to plough ahead is that you may make that discovery for yourself one day. Beside, you're not surprised that it takes work. You invested work and diligence in quitting drugs and alcohol. What's a little more? Be prepared, Mr. Whiner.
emoticon
P.S. Are you borrowing from Melville?

Edited by: SYLPHINPROGRESS at: 6/6/2010 (21:42)
LAURIE, NYC

Tra-la-la.


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TARAFROMONT's Photo TARAFROMONT Posts: 1,959
6/6/10 9:34 P

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Clay believe me even for me weight loss is difficult.. I've struggled for years with it. And gave up because I decided I couldn't do it and now I'm 220lbs. I started on here at 280lbs I do believe in 2004. I lost 100 lbs in about 6 months bye walking but then put it all back on again up to 260lbs. I finally up and gave up when I couldn't get past 240lbs. But little by little it came off. although I gained quite a bit back again and am now 220lbs. My goal weight is 120lbs but I know with motivation and watching what I eat and walking I can do this I hope and pray anyway I'm not gonna give up this time. Not with the health issues that are being blamed on my weight LOL.

You can do this. It's not easy and it's gonna take a lot but you can do it a moment at a time.. If you slip and over eat or something jump back up and start again the next day. Remember we must have support and encouragement to help us through too..

You are not alone in struggling with these things

Men look at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7b

For with God nothing shall be impossible Luke 1:37

For HE will command HIS angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.
Psalm 91:11


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VXWALL1942's Photo VXWALL1942 SparkPoints: (0)
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6/6/10 9:27 P

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Clay - thanks for clarifying your gender. If I'd really read your screen name it would have clicked. We frequently have rants and vents, and even melodramatics, but that is how we know someone needs support, inspiration and encouragement. Read some of the Success Stories on the tool bar above. They are quite motivational.

Using Spark People to achieve weight loss is a great, and often hugely successful, process. This is not a diet, but rather a commitment to a healthy lifestyle.

I suggest you use the Nutrition Tracker. It is an awesome tool and provides a clear report of where we are getting our calories from and the recommended ranges puts us firmly in the healthy weight loss category. When combined with exercise - even 10 minutes at a time, and drinking 8 cups of water a day even those of us with difficulty (due to meds or other things) find we can be successful.

Come along with us. emoticon

vicki

vicki

Co-moderator
Dealing With Depression


Team Leader
Living with Neuropathy

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Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once. -Anonymous

If life is a bowl of cherries, what am I doing here in the pits? -Erma Bombeck


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CLAYTHESCRIBE Posts: 27
6/6/10 9:13 P

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Hi all thanks for your words. (Actually I am a man). I don't really want to die, I was just being melodramatic. I'm just a whiner who thinks weight loss should be easier than it is. I am being treated for depression with meds and therapy, but sometimes the meds, as I'm sure you know, make weight loss more difficult and getting off them, even tapering, is very difficult. I will NEVER get surgery for my weight problems. One, it is a very risky and sometimes fatal procedure (my mom worked with a woman who had the procedure a year ago and she is still in the hospital on life support because of complications) and two, I am not that fat to warrant such a procedure. I want to do this naturally, it's just a lot harder than I thought it'd be, and I'm obviously not doing it right. Ever since I quit drinking and doing drugs, I've found it hard to deal with my food urges and I put up very little fight. I'm just down on myself because maintaining weight/losing weight looks so easy for so many others, so why do I make it so hard. I used to exercise until like 2-3 weeks ago when I noticed no weight loss benefits from it and one reason/excuse came up after another. My therapist will be pissed at me for gaining weight since I last saw her like a month and a half ago (scheduling conflicts) but I've kind of just stopped caring.

I apologize for such a depressing post on here, I know you guys like to see people's stories of progress, not people being crybabies.

Edited by: CLAYTHESCRIBE at: 6/6/2010 (21:15)
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VXWALL1942's Photo VXWALL1942 SparkPoints: (0)
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6/6/10 8:40 P

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I am sorry to hear you have such a low opinion of yourself. You are a capable young woman who is able to accomplish important things to improve your health. Living a healthy lifestyle also proves to make us happier.

Please read the post from DWDMotherHen! She says it well and her suggestions are very important for you to follow up on.

Good luck...You CAN do it! Never give up!

vicki

vicki

Co-moderator
Dealing With Depression


Team Leader
Living with Neuropathy

Co-moderator
SP Class of May 1-7, 2011

Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once. -Anonymous

If life is a bowl of cherries, what am I doing here in the pits? -Erma Bombeck


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TARAFROMONT's Photo TARAFROMONT Posts: 1,959
6/6/10 8:19 P

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Don't give up you are not a loser. I thought like that too when I was 25 yrs old and I did give up. now I'm 28 with health issues because of my weight.. But I know I can do this with support and love and encouragement from others and I know you can too. I just started back on my journey of weight loss a few weeks ago.. I'm here if you need to talk..

Men look at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7b

For with God nothing shall be impossible Luke 1:37

For HE will command HIS angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.
Psalm 91:11


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AUNTRACHEL's Photo AUNTRACHEL SparkPoints: (0)
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6/6/10 8:01 P

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Please don't give up on yourself. Life really is worth living. I was in the same situation when I was your age. Now I am turning 32 this year and I am about 200 pounds overweight. I was diagnosed with major depression when I was 12. I know what depression is like but it is so worth going on. If I can keep trying so can you. It isn't an easy thing to do by any means, but it really is worth it.

I would also recommend that you see your doctor asap. There are things that can be done. He can help you. It might take awhile to get where you feel better and are where you want to be, but the time will come and you'll know that it was worth it.

Come on here as often as you need to and share your feelings. Participation here really does help one to feel better. If you need to talk send me a message and I'm willing to help in any way that I can.

Rachel

Leader SP Class of MAy 23-29, 2010


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DWDMOTHERHEN's Photo DWDMOTHERHEN Posts: 6,889
6/6/10 7:51 P

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Here is one good reason. You are only 25 years old!
You still have so much opportunity ahead of you to turn things around. I don't know what you mean by it "doesn't pay off in time," but you still have lots of time left.
First of all, are you being treated for depression? If not, it is past time for you to get medical help if you are this despondent. Most of us here are on anti-depressants, and I know they have made my life worth living.
While becoming healthier is a goal all by itself that is well worth the effort, and any doctor worth his or her degree would want to make sure that you had tried everything else, for some reason I feel right about putting forward something I haven't ever suggested before. Could you be a candidate for lapband/gastric bypass surgery?
Here is an article from Mayoclinic.com about the criteria for this procedure.
www.mayoclinic.com/health/gastric-by
pa
ss-surgery/WT00031

Maybe it is because you are so young and depressed enough about your situation to wish you weren't alive, that I am mentioning it I'm not sure. Maybe it is a nudge from God, who knows?
Regardless of whether you need treatment for depression, or need to ask about surgery or both, you need to see your doctor ASAP. There is help out there, and your doctor is the first place to start.
Please don't give up! We are here for you, and life can be better!
Jodi

My blog for women with depression is:
adarkershadeofblue.wordpress.com/
My "dealing with issues" blog is:
motherhensnest.wordpress.com/

Former Senior Moderator abd Co-moderator of the Dealing with Depression SparkTeam
I am not a medical professional or a trained counselor. Please seek professional advice about treatment options.
PRINCESSTTM's Photo PRINCESSTTM SparkPoints: (0)
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6/6/10 6:42 P

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You are not a loser. You expect people to say that right. For me SP means being healthy even if I am overweight. Between depression and weight loss, I want to deal with the healthy parts of depression (like creativity). So fight the depression dragons for now and seek the other stuff later. BLessings

Terri, Princess of the Terri-tory~~Sure is hard to be a princess around here. WELL-BEHAVED WOMEN RARELY MAKE HISTORY *to be enlightened is to be without anxiety over imperfection. Allow myself to find happiness in the only place that it can be found: my real messy, imperfect experience Anon + Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You” Dr. Seuss+ SorryTHX,Forgive,Love+
CLAYTHESCRIBE Posts: 27
6/6/10 6:36 P

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I am 25 years old, about 100 lbs. overweight, depressed, anxious, can't get good/right sleep and I've officially given up losing weight, which makes me a loser. Despite how out of shape I am, how hard I have to breathe to do simple things like walk from my car to my house, how hard it is to get out of bed and move around, I have given up. I just don't care anymore. I don't care about attracting other people or what this is doing to my health. It's just too hard and doesn't seem to pay off in time. Just looking for reasons why I should stick with it. Sometimes I wish something bad/tragic/fatal would happen to me so I could stop living this way.

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